Day 15 AF is finally here.
This may be dribble to most but I thought I would update the site occasionally with what I was feeling/going through as it might help someone that is at a similar part of the path.
So this is where I am at so far:
Day 1 ? can?t drink because I start Antabuse tomorrow and I don?t want Al in my system (or as little as possible)
Day 2 ? Start Antabuse. Really excited and hopeful this will work.
Day 3,4,5,6 ? Man, the cravings were rough. They would start about 3PM and last all evening. Depression would set in hard because I was denying myself something that I wanted. I was also really really grumpy. Al seemed to be consuming my every thought. The Antabuse is also making me very tired that last all day. But it removes the debate of drinking that usually goes on in my head.
Day 7 ? Start of the weekend (Friday) ? ok, I went to bed at 9PM to make Al shut up!
Day 8 ? Saturday ? Stayed out of the house that evening and put myself driving and in an Al free environment with friends.
Day 9 Sunday ? Decided to start reading in the evening to take my mind off things. I love medical thrillers so I got Robin Cook?s newest novel.
Days 10,11,12,13 ? Cravings are not as bad. At least drinking is not in my every thought like it was last week. Discovered that it?s awesome to read sober because you remember where you left off the next night. I started replacing Al with Tea. I got the packets that you make one glass at a time. The process of making the tea took about the same time to make a drink. So, it was an interesting substitute that really seemed to work. I was having 4-5 Rum and Cokes an evening. So now I am having 4-5 Tea?s a night ? same prep time, same glass. Usually around 8PM there is not even a thought of Al now. But now I have all this time on my hands in the evening. I?m not interested in TV or anything else. Just don?t know what to do with myself.
Day 14 ? Noticed this morning that I have lost 11 pounds since I started. Also at this point I really don?t have any physical cravings at all. The mental cravings are not that bad. I am still a bit grouchy in the evenings. As this is Friday, I think this might be a tough night. My wife wants me to go with her to the neighborhood pool when I get off work. I said absolutely not. Many nights this summer, that is where drinking started. As this is a holiday weekend and I will be around the house a lot, I think the weekend will be tough. I know I won?t drink because 1) there is no Al in the house and 2) with Antabuse on board, there is no way I can drink.
Day 15 ? Worked on the yard all day. At about 3PM I started thinking about a drink. Took the tops out of the car and went for a long drive. Got home, grilled steak, and am now planning on going to bed with my 2nd Robin Cook novel.
At this point I have a target which is really helping me. While not the most healthy way to do this process, at the end of the month will be 28 days and I will be on a Caribbean vacation. I plan to let myself enjoy myself with Al. But when I get back, I am back on the process. I will set a longer target ? say New Years to let myself have a break. If I don?t see benchmarks then I know I will have trouble keeping on plan. I guess you have to pick what works for you.
A word about Antabuse ? if you are embarrassed to ask your doctor ? GET OVER IT! It?s not like s/he can run around screaming ?Joe is a Drunk!!!? S/he is a professional. S/he will also most likely be impressed that you realize you have a problem and want help to resolve it. As far as getting it filled, well that?s another story. I admit that I went to a different pharmacy other than my usual community drug store. But it really does work. And it?s not like you can decide to drink tonight by skipping this morning?s dose. You have to be off of it for several days so you are less likely not to be compliant with the dosing. If you have a really caring doc like mine, s/he will also give you some Xanax for those times you think you might want to knock the crap out of the next person that bothers you! Finally, a word about Internet pharmacies. PLEASE don?t use them. I work in the pharmaceutical industry and there is a pretty good chance that you will get taken. They will be placebos, drugs that are about or have expired, compounded with less than US Standard ingredients like the fillers, or not even what you actually ordered. It just isn?t worth it. Also, Antabuse is somewhat tough on your liver so you really need some level of monitoring. It?s not a big deal but you don?t want to give up Al and learn later that you have fried your liver!!!! This isn?t intended to scare anyone off Antabuse. I think it has done wonders for me so far. But like with any pharmaceutical you have to use some common sense and exercise a level of caution.
Unless folks on this site think this is utterly useless I will continue to update this journal on this thread. I?m hoping it helps answer some of the questions and feelings others have at the points I have mentioned.
Have a good evening my friends!
ItsJustMe
This may be dribble to most but I thought I would update the site occasionally with what I was feeling/going through as it might help someone that is at a similar part of the path.
So this is where I am at so far:
Day 1 ? can?t drink because I start Antabuse tomorrow and I don?t want Al in my system (or as little as possible)
Day 2 ? Start Antabuse. Really excited and hopeful this will work.
Day 3,4,5,6 ? Man, the cravings were rough. They would start about 3PM and last all evening. Depression would set in hard because I was denying myself something that I wanted. I was also really really grumpy. Al seemed to be consuming my every thought. The Antabuse is also making me very tired that last all day. But it removes the debate of drinking that usually goes on in my head.
Day 7 ? Start of the weekend (Friday) ? ok, I went to bed at 9PM to make Al shut up!
Day 8 ? Saturday ? Stayed out of the house that evening and put myself driving and in an Al free environment with friends.
Day 9 Sunday ? Decided to start reading in the evening to take my mind off things. I love medical thrillers so I got Robin Cook?s newest novel.
Days 10,11,12,13 ? Cravings are not as bad. At least drinking is not in my every thought like it was last week. Discovered that it?s awesome to read sober because you remember where you left off the next night. I started replacing Al with Tea. I got the packets that you make one glass at a time. The process of making the tea took about the same time to make a drink. So, it was an interesting substitute that really seemed to work. I was having 4-5 Rum and Cokes an evening. So now I am having 4-5 Tea?s a night ? same prep time, same glass. Usually around 8PM there is not even a thought of Al now. But now I have all this time on my hands in the evening. I?m not interested in TV or anything else. Just don?t know what to do with myself.
Day 14 ? Noticed this morning that I have lost 11 pounds since I started. Also at this point I really don?t have any physical cravings at all. The mental cravings are not that bad. I am still a bit grouchy in the evenings. As this is Friday, I think this might be a tough night. My wife wants me to go with her to the neighborhood pool when I get off work. I said absolutely not. Many nights this summer, that is where drinking started. As this is a holiday weekend and I will be around the house a lot, I think the weekend will be tough. I know I won?t drink because 1) there is no Al in the house and 2) with Antabuse on board, there is no way I can drink.
Day 15 ? Worked on the yard all day. At about 3PM I started thinking about a drink. Took the tops out of the car and went for a long drive. Got home, grilled steak, and am now planning on going to bed with my 2nd Robin Cook novel.
At this point I have a target which is really helping me. While not the most healthy way to do this process, at the end of the month will be 28 days and I will be on a Caribbean vacation. I plan to let myself enjoy myself with Al. But when I get back, I am back on the process. I will set a longer target ? say New Years to let myself have a break. If I don?t see benchmarks then I know I will have trouble keeping on plan. I guess you have to pick what works for you.
A word about Antabuse ? if you are embarrassed to ask your doctor ? GET OVER IT! It?s not like s/he can run around screaming ?Joe is a Drunk!!!? S/he is a professional. S/he will also most likely be impressed that you realize you have a problem and want help to resolve it. As far as getting it filled, well that?s another story. I admit that I went to a different pharmacy other than my usual community drug store. But it really does work. And it?s not like you can decide to drink tonight by skipping this morning?s dose. You have to be off of it for several days so you are less likely not to be compliant with the dosing. If you have a really caring doc like mine, s/he will also give you some Xanax for those times you think you might want to knock the crap out of the next person that bothers you! Finally, a word about Internet pharmacies. PLEASE don?t use them. I work in the pharmaceutical industry and there is a pretty good chance that you will get taken. They will be placebos, drugs that are about or have expired, compounded with less than US Standard ingredients like the fillers, or not even what you actually ordered. It just isn?t worth it. Also, Antabuse is somewhat tough on your liver so you really need some level of monitoring. It?s not a big deal but you don?t want to give up Al and learn later that you have fried your liver!!!! This isn?t intended to scare anyone off Antabuse. I think it has done wonders for me so far. But like with any pharmaceutical you have to use some common sense and exercise a level of caution.
Unless folks on this site think this is utterly useless I will continue to update this journal on this thread. I?m hoping it helps answer some of the questions and feelings others have at the points I have mentioned.
Have a good evening my friends!
ItsJustMe
Suz 
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