I'm drinking

[Jewels83]

I hate it but I love it.....I love that all my worries go away. I love that my ex hasn't shown up tonight to bother me.....even tho I still love him. But.....back to the hate.....it's not even 7pm and I'm about to go to bed. I'm 27 years old, for god sakes, and I'm so tired from drinking that I'm going to bed when it's still day light.

I hate my life. I'm so tired of everything. I work my ass off at work 5 days a week and then come home to an empty home. I'm so sad and depressed. I don't want to deal with anymore. I'm not suicidle or anything, but when I wake up tomorrow, I just wish this life was just a bad dream...

[SKendall]

I'm drinking

Hi Jewels, I just wanted to welcome you and all of us have been in your place at one time. Try giving the MWO book and supplements a shot, it will be well worth it. There are so many people to welcome you here lovingly.

Take care.:h

[startingover]

I'm drinking

Hi there Jewels. Yep totally get that love hate relationship with the booze.
Maybe try and work out if its the booze making you depressed, or your lifestyle.
Either way, theres so much you can do on both counts. All is not lost hun.

[Guitarista]

I'm drinking

Hi Jewel's.

The thing is, your worries don't go away. They leave our concious mind for a bit, but they gather pace and weight in our subconcious mind, so, our worries are alway's there, and getting worse inside us, doing more internal damage through emotional stress, until we get sober and deal with them.

Great to see you posting though friend. Stick around here, keep posting, thinking, and keep reading. Something will click for you sometime. For me, it got to a point when i had had enough of the whole boring cycle. You can do it, and you will. Toolbox thread, get a plan, and have a crack at 30 day's af, and join a thread for support. Jump in and go for it!

Best wishes, G.

[Change]

I'm drinking

gary321;951582 wrote: GOOD LUCK

Frig off Gary.

Jewels, You're going through a tough time at the moment. Piss off anyone who brings you down or questions your self esteem in any way

Have you thought of house sharing?

[mama bear]

I'm drinking

god morning jewels..
you know this will gett worse, right? it has for me and others here....please, please decide you have had enough of poisoning yourself......no man is worth it baby

[mollyka]

I'm drinking

Hope you feel better when you wake up this morning Jewels. The booze just makes being sad, sadder - honestly. Thinking of you
Molly

[Time to change]

I'm drinking

Hi Jewels, I'm a similar age to you and find myself in similar situations with AL. I had a bad day yesterday after a binge and felt totally hopeless, After a few wise words from this gang I was feeling a little more hopeful and today I feel a little more positive. Lets do this together!!!....I turned 30 earlier this year and I think that milestone had a hand in me wanting to change. Just think, how different your life will be when you turn 30 if you start making the changes now!! Thinking of you hun, take care xx

[Peacefull]

I'm drinking

I hear ya about going to bed when it is still light out....

Please keep coming back, this site is a wonderful place especially in the first while.

Take care of yourself Jewels.

[Jewels83]

I'm drinking

Thank you all for kind words and support. I'm just so weak right now. I don't know what to do with me or my life. But I do know I want me and my life to be better. I just don't know how to get there. It's hard.
:l:l to everyone! You are all so great to me!

[rebirth]

I'm drinking

Hey Jewels I totally relate. My drinking years were a nightmare. Even now I still think about having a drink, how nice it numbed my feelings etc. But the difference is that I remember that numb feeling as a distant memory with no cravings attached. I dont yearn for a drink and my life is much better than before.
I know you are thinking that it's impossible for you to give up but its not...just stick to this site and listen to advice given. one day you will wake up and really, really hate what alcohol does to you. But i know it's hard...I still think you can do though. xx

[mere]

I'm drinking

I hear you!

Jewels, I'm in the same boat about coming home to an empty house! I've only been here on MWO two days but boy the information in the tool box is well worth your read. Reading the book and starting the supplements has gotten me here as well - everyone can relate to our stories.
I've gone to bed when it's still light out as well being totally loaded because "I was alone no one around, empty nest, etc." But I sure felt like crap the next morning and I can't say I won't do it again but am trying this road because the other road made me feel so guilty, ashamed and terrified of hurting myself or someone else - I don't think real rationally when I've had a few
So hang in there it's great you posted. That's a start. I'm glad you are here and again I totally know where you are coming from. But let's find a better road.

[Doggygirl]

I'm drinking

Jewels, I know that lonely, depressed and hopeless feeling all too well. I used to think it came from other people not loving me enough, etc. etc. The REAL source of all the bad feelings was alcohol. Today the circumstances of my life (house, job, car, husband) are exactly the same as when I wanted to kill myself I was so miserable. But I'm happy now and have built a very satisfying life - all in the exact same surroundings. All I had to do was get rid of the AL and start taking responsibility for my life and my healing. If I can do it, so can you. I hope you will wake up tomorrow and decide to make in an AF day and start to figure out how to get the most out of your life. It's worth the effort - it really is.

DG