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    Back at it

    Hiya all

    Well I haven't posted for a while because I have been drinking rather a lot.. just to recap I had 42 days AF during July/August.. then drank for 2 weeks and then AF for 10 days. I was going well..... I thought

    Then the holidays came around and I met someone I knew already and liked but had never wanted to go any further because I knew he was, like me, a heavy drinker. But sometimes in the life loneliness and boredom take over and before I knew it we were drinking heavily for 5 days... those days consisted of drinking, listening to loud music, hardly eating, not taking any supplements, minimal water, talking bullshit and not remembering.... but it was fun and despite feeling like shit I enjoyed it.

    I woke up today, couldn't take my son to school because of the hangover and didn't want the other mums in their jogging jear to see me looking so bad.

    I decided I can no longer see this person, despite having a great rapport with him, because I fear falling into that pattern of binge drinking... I felt very sad about that because I now realise that as a single person there will always be people I will not be able to hook up with because they have the same alcohol related problems as me and it is not healthy. ( We would have only ever been filling in time anyway because we are both leaving Asia at the end of the year and going to different places... but I had thoughts of a fun last 3 months here)

    But I feel my AF must come first at this time at the expense of loneliness and boredom, I think??.

    It would be so so difficult not to have mad binges with this man and I want to get back on track.....and I know I can again do that.

    Oh sometimes the choices we must make can be so difficult

    Take Care
    Patrice

    #2
    Back at it

    Two heavy or problem drinkers together are usually not very good for each other. Sometimes they can, if they both want to stop ,and beat this together but sounds as if this isn't the case for you and this guy.

    What's funny is that you say you were talking bull, and you also felt like "shit". So how comes you enjoyed it?

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      #3
      Back at it

      UK

      You are right - me and myself didnt enjoy it... the alcoholic did... that beast is going right back into his cage.
      Patrice

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        #4
        Back at it

        Patrice,

        Like moths to a flame, alcoholics are often attracted to people of the same affliction. (misery and company). Your decision not to see this person is a good one. Especially as time spent with him impacts your daily life and your children's. Being sober doesn't = being alone. But you may need to get yourself in a good place first. Bolt the door on that cage!
        While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us.
        Benjamin Franklin

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          #5
          Back at it

          Patrice, Bored and lonely is a very dangerous trigger for many. sounds like you could use a plan. Maybe now would be a good time to revisit the toolbox thread and What's Your Sobriety Plan? thread. Pick yourself up and make the commitment!
          sigpic
          Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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            #6
            Back at it

            Welcome back to the wagon Patrice.

            There are good and bad choices of people to date / be friends with / hang out with whether we have a drinking problem or not. It's NOT true that our good choices of people are more limited due to our drinking problem.

            Get ready for some truth. (whoever is reading - this is not directed for Patrice)

            As active problem drinkers, WE are not a great choice for non-problem drinkers or non-active problem drinkers. We like to think that the problems caused by our drinking affect only us. That is not true. So if our options as problem drinkers are limited, it's because when we are ACTIVE in our problem drinking, WE are not living up to our possibilities. It's not the other people in our lives that limit us.

            Being with a drunk might be fun for a weekend, but it's not fun in the long haul. I don't want to be with a drunk and I'm sure nobody wants to be with me when I'm the drunk either.

            Alcohol is never the solution to boredom and lonliness.

            Just my 2 cents...

            DG
            Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
            Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


            One day at a time.

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              #7
              Back at it

              Hi girls
              Door is bolted,plan consolidated and that 2 cents DG is actually worth 2 million
              Thank you, thank you.. now I now what I need to do
              Patricexxx

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