I poured out the AL last night and just told myself to stop this madness, NOW!!! (I'm thankful I had the werewithal to do that)
I am now on day 1, I don't want "slips", I want to count only continuous sobriety. I am saddened and ashamed of my slips, and I certainly hope I didn't discourage any newbies. This CAN be done, and I am going to do it. I can't pinpoint exactly "what" happnened. All I know is that I have to be vigilant in not letting it ever happen again. Once was bad enough, but to let it spill over into more than once is not okay, not at all. I am more determined than ever. Today I feel tired and banged up (Friday night I slipped in the shower and just sat there crying, unable to believe I'd let myself get back to that point, it was so pathetic, I'll never forget it).
Beyond a few bruises, and the disappointment in myself, I am ok. I can and will do this.
Thank you all so much, this place is a lifesaver.
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