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Never Giving Up

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    #1

    Never Giving Up

    I am blown away by all the love and support you all have shown me the last couple days. I can't even express my gratitude towards all of you! :h

    I poured out the AL last night and just told myself to stop this madness, NOW!!! (I'm thankful I had the werewithal to do that)

    I am now on day 1, I don't want "slips", I want to count only continuous sobriety. I am saddened and ashamed of my slips, and I certainly hope I didn't discourage any newbies. This CAN be done, and I am going to do it. I can't pinpoint exactly "what" happnened. All I know is that I have to be vigilant in not letting it ever happen again. Once was bad enough, but to let it spill over into more than once is not okay, not at all. I am more determined than ever. Today I feel tired and banged up (Friday night I slipped in the shower and just sat there crying, unable to believe I'd let myself get back to that point, it was so pathetic, I'll never forget it).

    Beyond a few bruises, and the disappointment in myself, I am ok. I can and will do this.

    Thank you all so much, this place is a lifesaver.
    :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

    Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Never Giving Up

    K9 - I'm on Day 1 too.
    "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
    ..........
    AF - 7-27-15

    Comment

      #3
      Never Giving Up

      K9 I knew you could do it. :l
      Be strong-
      We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worse that has been done to us.
      Be constructive. Clear the word of CAN'T

      Comment

        #4
        Never Giving Up

        It's a brand new day!
        Hold your head up and meet the first day of the rest of your life!
        xoxox
        "Be still and know that I am God"

        Psalm 46:10

        Comment

          #5
          Never Giving Up

          Remember that you love your daughter more than alcohol. Your signature really touched me when i first joined.
          x
          Be strong-
          We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worse that has been done to us.
          Be constructive. Clear the word of CAN'T

          Comment

            #6
            Never Giving Up

            We need you back K9. Dont ever leave us!!!
            Be strong-
            We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worse that has been done to us.
            Be constructive. Clear the word of CAN'T

            Comment

              #7
              Never Giving Up

              Hi K9, :l

              Great to hear that you are back on track and from a Newbie perspective you haven?t disappointed me at all, I think you only have to read through a few posts on here to realise that this is not an easy path by any stretch for anyone, and those who think they have it beaten are very wrong. We all have to be vigilant.

              Don?t be too hard on yourself, take it easy and be kind to yourself, we are all human.

              Dewdrop :h
              Enjoy today - there will be no other one quite like it....

              Comment

                #8
                Never Giving Up

                K9 you should be so proud that you have come back so soon, this is so hard and you are proof that determination will win, good luck with AA :l
                Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Never Giving Up

                  K9 - This may sound strange but you have really helped me, I often romanticise about drinking again, that maybe it would be different now, that maybe I could just do it for fun.
                  When I hear your misery I realize these thoughts are complete madness....
                  We want to be happy, right? We know AL only causes heartbreak, we can do this :l
                  "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
                  AF - JAN 1st 2010
                  NF - May 1996

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Never Giving Up

                    Welcome back(not that you were ever unwelcome).

                    Sorry for being rather to the point in my posts - that's been simply out of frustration, concern and sadness that we might have been losing you.

                    I can remember mornings in the shower, crying for no reason other than that I didn't think I could cope with life. Fear, anxiety and physical weakness. I'm strong again now in many, many ways but still have to remember I can go back there at any time, but only if I take a drink.

                    ODAT.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Never Giving Up

                      You go, girl. :l
                      AF since July 15, 2010. :applouse:
                      "People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim." —Ann Landers

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Never Giving Up

                        :yay: I honestly can't say how pleased I am to see you fighting back. Brilliant. :l
                        J x
                        :l
                        It could be worse, I could be filing.
                        AF since 7/7/2009

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Never Giving Up

                          UK -
                          I appreciate your posts because they ARE to the point. I need that. I don't want anyone to walk on eggshells for fear of offending me or whatever. I like the fact that people around here just tell you like it is! I need someone to verbally shake me and say "just stop being an idiot!"

                          I feel so disconnected today, I just know I'm not going to get any work done and I am probably going home at lunch time to take a nap. It sucks being physically drained, and knowing I did it to myself.

                          Chill - I would be very happy if you could learn from my mistakes...I don't want you to have to test it out...believe me, it's NOT worth it. I didn't have ANY fun, all I did was become that drunk woman that I never wanted to be...stumbling all over, waking up with bruises. There was nothing glamorous, or even remotely enjoyable about it!

                          Anyway, I just refilled my prescription for Antabuse and I hope it will be ready either today or tomorrow. I will stay on it as long as it takes this time.
                          :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                          Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Never Giving Up

                            Great stuff K9ers....fighting spirit xx
                            "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

                            AF 10th May 2010
                            NF 12th May 2010

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Never Giving Up

                              HI K9,

                              Glad to you see you getting back on track. How long ago did you stop the antabuse?

                              No where to go but towards the future.
                              AF since May 6, 2010

                              Forget the past, plan for tomorrow, and live for today.

                              Comment

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