New here, but not really...

[Ember lola]

New here, but not really...

Hi Mum to 2

That is a genuinely tough situation, your husband travelling regularly and having 2 young children at home. Mine are 8 and 6 so a little older. When my husband was at work 3 or 4 nights a week was actually my favourite time to drink. I realised though that I had to change my thinking if I was to succeed. I had to stop thinking this is so hard for me because I'm on my own with 2 children. Yes it is hard but it doesn't mean that I have to drink. I realise now, that it was just another excuse to abuse alcohol. Since stopping I appreciate my children even more and have more energy for them. The alcohol didin't make it better. It just made it worse. I don't know if that will help you and is just my experience of it.

Please let me know how you are going. Am so glad you are here as I really relate to what you are going through and I hope we can help each other.

Hugs for your little ones and you.

EL xx

15 days AF

[Ember lola]

New here, but not really...

Hi Newstart

Congratulations on being 7 days AF. That is wonderful.

EL

[Doggygirl]

New here, but not really...

mumtotwo;962749 wrote: I want to drink on weekdays by 4pm or even 3pm some days and I know it will creep up earlier and earlier IF I don't fix it.

Yes, it will probably escalate if you don't fix it. Through my twenties, I was able to hold off until 5PM on weekdays. Of course if there was an earlier opportunity, I took it. Weekends...well...lots of exceptions to the "5PM rule" there.

In my 30's it started to get difficult to wait until 5 during the week. I started sneaking out of work early and asking to "work from home" some days, etc. Weekends? Forget it.

In my 40's things really went downhill fast. First it was the 3PM rule. Then the noon rule. Then the noon somewhere rule. By the time I finally admitted I had a problem and had to stop, I was often pouring a drink instead of coffee in the morning. Good that you are addressing this NOW before you get to that point. Your children and husband deserve better than what I was able to give in the end.

newstart32;962770 wrote:

Hi mum! I know what you mean when you say that other people (normies) just don't understand what this is like. It's so nice to have a group like this where we can feel understood.

It sure is!



I am trying to remind myself that it is so dangerous to be drinking so heavily when I am home alone with the kids. What if something were to happen to one of them? How would I drive them to the dr. or whatever if I were drunk?

I don't have children but we have 5 dogs. One night shortly after I sobered up, one of our dogs ran head long into and tree and was partially paralyzed. This required several phone calls to rustle up a vet after hours, and the long night in the vets office to save her. My husband looked at me and told me how grateful he was that I was able to help. In the old days, I would have been passed out and completely unavailable for an emergency at that hour. So your concern is very, very real!

Sobering up is the best thing I have ever done. Whatever little I have given up by giving up AL cannot compare to getting my life back. I hope it ends up that way for you two also. (and everyone else here at MWO)

DG

[mumtotwo]

New here, but not really...

Once again... thank you everyone for the support!!!

I can finally say that today is the beginning of Day 2 AF. I had some moments yesterday afternoon/evening when I thought about it. We have some beer in our garage fridge that my husband bought, but I stayed away. I put post-its up (someone suggested that in another thread and I loved the idea) that have different quotes on them, like "It's NOT worth it", etc. I put one of those on the outside fridge and it helped for sure!! I have almost all the supps and will get the rest today. I got my kudzu and CD's yesterday as well. Now I just need to burn them to my iTunes since I don't have a CD player

I am excited and hoping for the best! I know that if I can get past the lack of sleep during these first couple of weeks I'll be OK. That is where I usually slip up because I get so grumpy from only getting a few hours of sleep a night. I'm the kind of person that needs at least 8 hours to function. I can honestly say that even though I'm tired this morning it sure is nice to be clear-headed and tired compared to being "out of sorts", bitchy, and still tired!!!

So here's to Day 2... I hope everyone else is doing great as well and so happy we're all in this together!!

Mum

[Ember lola]

New here, but not really...

Hey Mumto2

2 days AF is brilliant! Well done!

Keep on going.

ELX :goodjob:

[ronaldolover]

New here, but not really...

Congrats to anyone who is at least 1 day AF! Ember - I know what you mean about the bottles of wine staring you in the face. I am only on day 2 AF and since I had no problem not drinking last night I thought tonight would be just as easy....wrong! I am done with work in 2 hours and I am already wondering how I am going to go without having a drink. I guess that is what this site is for!! And welcome back Mum to two!

[Ember lola]

New here, but not really...

Hi Ronaldo

Just wanted to say congratulations on getting 1 day AF under your belt. I found the cravings hard too in the first 10 days and they would start at 3.00pm and finish around 7 or 8 pm. These were my drinking hours you see. I got very busy with anything I could think of around that time. House got very very clean and tidy. Ha ha!
You can do day 2 so don't think that you can't. It's just the devil alcohol telling you that. You do have a choice and making the right choice will be empowering for you even if you do feel like shit for a little while.
I am on day 17 today and I still get the cravings but they are not as strong. They remind me why I've started this journey.
If you feel like a drink just hop on here and read some of the threads or keep posting because everyone will support you.

Best of luck, not that you're going to need it.

EL

[newstart32]

New here, but not really...

Mum,

Congrats on getting through day 1! I think the hardest step to take it admitting that things have gotten to a point that you are worried enough to stop drinking. Isn't it great to wake up feeling unhung? : ) I have been taking Tryptophan to help with the sleep issue. I got it at a local health food store. And I take a product called Midnite which is a natural sleep aid (contains melatonin and chamomile, I believe) which I got at a regular grocery store. I was SO worried about the sleep issue, like you, but it is no where near as bad as I expect it to be.

My kids are only 15 months apart so I know how it is having them so close together! By the end of the day they wear you out!

Good luck with day 2. You can do it!! I am now on day 10 and if I can do this anyone can!!!

[mumtotwo]

New here, but not really...

Hi everyone! Here I am at the beginning of Day 3!!!! I'm proud to say that, even though I have been here before. Yesterday I had a real struggle with the mid-afternoon time frame. My kids were overtired (and they don't take naps anymore) and normally if I knew I was "in for the day" I would open a beer to just calm myself down. It was really hard not to!!! I knew that if I did that, I would end up drinking all afternoon and evening... so I didn't!! My kids are challenging to say the least... one is ADHD with some other challenges as well, so it has the tendency to push me over the edge! I realize that the answer is NOT in a bottle, though. It was nice to be able to handle the situation with a clear head. I met my pregnant friend for dinner with the kids so it was easier to get through that "witching hour" whilst away from home where there was no alcohol to be had. Now to get through Day 3... I know I can do it!!

If I can make it through a couple weeks of sleepless nights I know I'll be OK... but the cycle has to end sometime, right?? If I give in due to exhaustion and drink I know I'll be right back where I started AGAIN.

Thanks to everyone here for your support and congratulations to everyone else who's made it to day 3 and those of you with months and years under your belt!!!

Mum xx

[ronaldolover]

New here, but not really...

Hi Mum! Congrats on getting to day 3! What a huge success. I am also on day 3 and I have only made it here one time before....so I am a little worried about this evening. But I am just going to keep myself occupied and get through it. I did sleep a little better last night so that is reassuring. We can make it through this....just keep posting and keep a clear head!

[Pride before Fall]

New here, but not really...

M22, good for you! The sleepless nights will pass, based on my own experience and what I've read here. After a week or so, I was sleeping better than I have in years (no more waking up at 2 a.m. with that "oh god, I did it again" lead weight on my chest). I have 3 kids and work FT--ironically, it's all been MUCH easier to cope with sober.

Keep up the good work! xoxo Pride

[mumtotwo]

New here, but not really...

The day started out much better than it became... I am so lost when it comes to my 5 year old. His issues are getting the better of me, literally. No more day 3 for me, I'll be back to day 1 tomorrow. I'm sorry for letting you guys down. I KNOW the rest of you can do better than me! I'll be back to Day 1 tomorrow, I'm sure of it. I'm just so tired of people judging my son... and I know that wine isn't the answer but it's the only way I know to cope right now... I'm so ashamed.

[ronaldolover]

New here, but not really...

mumtotwo;965609 wrote: The day started out much better than it became... I am so lost when it comes to my 5 year old. His issues are getting the better of me, literally. No more day 3 for me, I'll be back to day 1 tomorrow. I'm sorry for letting you guys down. I KNOW the rest of you can do better than me! I'll be back to Day 1 tomorrow, I'm sure of it. I'm just so tired of people judging my son... and I know that wine isn't the answer but it's the only way I know to cope right now... I'm so ashamed.

Mum please don't be ashamed. We have all been there before. It is just one little slip up. Tomorrow is a new day and you can start again at day 1! You did not let anybody down.....things happen......that's what we are here for. Keep posting and let us know if we can help in any way! I am on the evening of day 3 and it's a struggle!

[Ember lola]

New here, but not really...

Mum, please please please don't feel bad about this. It must be incredibly hurtful people juding your son. Completely understand why your day was so tough.

Please don't give up though. Everyday that you stay AF is an achievement.
Here for you hon!

ELxx

[BradyKelly]

New here, but not really...

Pride before Fall;965244 wrote: waking up at 2 a.m. with that "oh god, I did it again" lead weight on my chest

That describes it so well.