I can't keep going on this way....

[Jewels83]

I can't keep going on this way....

Thank you so much choice!:l

It means so much to me to have people read my story, hear theirs and have them post back. It's really all I have to look forward to right now.

My ex left me, which I'm still hurting over...what would I expect though.....he's married. He told me in the beginning that he had an unhappy marriage, that his wife had cheated on him, and he was only staying for the kid. Well the truth came on later on that, that was all a lie. His marriage is fine. He has no plans to leave. Where does this leave ME now. We were involved for almost 4 years and I just kept buying his lies. I was so in love with him.

Please don't think that I'm some slut out to break up a marriage, but I took what he told me at face value and it tuned out to be a total lie. I hate him for what he put me through. I chose to believe him and lover him, but he lied and definitely put a

[choice]

I can't keep going on this way....

Hi Jewels,

After 4 years you must be really just flat out heart broken. Raw pain. Now you've got this dang booze problem on top of it and it's not seaming to give you much peace at all. Your tread is titled you just can't go on like this. I couldn't either, no one could... I've read your previous threads and see that you've been doing some real hard yards over the past few months. I wish I could tell you to stop drinking and get over your ex boyfriend. But I know how hard it is because I've been in and out of abusive relationships and dealt with lots of breakup stuff with booze for lots of years. It feels very lonely. Your doing a good job by posting how your feeling. I hope today was better for you. Check in okay?

-Choice :h

[Jewels83]

I can't keep going on this way....

Hey choice. Thank you so much for responding. I checked in several times today but wasn't getting any responses to my last post. I know everyone has their own lives and issues so, to you all, please don't take it personally.

Today was another day of hell, being at work with him but I'm surviving. I did pick up a bottle of wine tonight. But I got the smaller bottle because I know that won't be too much and make me feel like crap tomorrow. Total alcoholic thinking, I know. Gonna try to go to bed now. Choice, you're awesome! And to everyone else who's responded to me and put up with my crap, you are all awesome and great! Thank you so much!

[choice]

I can't keep going on this way....

Thanks lady! I use to wish that I could buy a half bottle because I wished I could stop at two.... Not my case, if it's opened it means it will be finished. A few folks couldn't understand that and say just have a couple and put a cork in it. Such a bummer as I had no self control after a few. But that's because I'm an addict. Oh well, now that I'm not drinking.... I'm seeing there are worse things. It sure didn't feel like that though when I'd have those hangovers from hell. Yeeks! Anyhoots I'm glad you checked in, take care of yourself and be safe.:h:l

[Mish]

I can't keep going on this way....

:l:l:l This might sound glib, but forget the ex (coming from someone who spent three years grieving over breaking up from an abusive, disfunctional relationship with Satan's spawn).
YOU are the most important person in your life. Get well and you will realise just how special you are. From the sounds of things this..."ex"...groomed you because you were vulnerable. He could have his wife and family, and you. You got the crumbs from his table. Lies, lies and more lies.
I have more respect for you than he does, because I would never hurt another person that way.

Sorry if I sound a bit passionate about this, but I hate it that I was "groomed" to meet the needs of another while my own weren't considered. At least my ex wasn't married. That's low, sweetheart.
You are worthy of so much more.
:h:h:h
Mish

[Ember lola]

I can't keep going on this way....

Hi Jewels

Sorry to hear about your rotten situation with your ex. I can understand why you're having such a tough time with the booze. No judgement on that score just concerned about how you are. I agree that its great that you are on here, drinking or not. It is a start and good that you didn't drink as much the last night. This is about you though and I totally agree with Doggy Girl that we will use any excuse to drink, albeit one that seems pretty damn reasonable. I know that I did but I haven't been in the same situation as you are now. Any way keep on posting and thank you for sharing what's going on for you.
It helps me to hear your story and sure it helps others too.

You can stop the alcohol though J. Have you seen a counsellor to work through the stuff with your ex. Maybe that will help?

ELx:h