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    I can't keep going on this way....

    I picked up a box of wine on the way home yesterday. Why do I keep doing this? I'm an alcoholic that's why! It's almost 3am in the morning. I just woke up with the worse headache. I'm going to call in sick today. Not only do I feel like crap and just refilled my wine glass (at 3 in the morning!!!), when I woke awhile ago, I knew that there is no way I could make it to work like this. There is so much more to this story but you all have heard it before. I can't keep going on this way.

    #2
    I can't keep going on this way....

    Hi Jewels and welcome.

    Am so glad you have joined this site. You are obviously feeling pretty vulnerable right now. I would love to hear more of your story. No one has heard it all before. I just think it helps everyone to see the simalaraties in our stories so that we know we are not on our own. It has definetely been a huge help to me. I am very new here too.
    I don;t know what to say to you except keep posting and you will receive so much support. I can promise you that..

    Thinking of you and hope you're ok. :welcome:

    EL

    12 DAYS AF

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      #3
      I can't keep going on this way....

      Thank you Ember! Once I get my thoughts together, I will post it. Go back to my previous post, alot of my life story is there. (((Ember)))

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        #4
        I can't keep going on this way....

        Take Care and get some sleep.

        EL

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          #5
          I can't keep going on this way....

          Take Care Jewels,

          I can relate so much to how you are feeling, the waking up in the middle of the night is awful. Not to mention how we feel in the morning.

          Keep coming back.

          Peace

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            #6
            I can't keep going on this way....

            PeaceSeeking;961219 wrote: Take Care Jewels,

            I can relate so much to how you are feeling, the waking up in the middle of the night is awful. Not to mention how we feel in the morning.

            Keep coming back.

            Peace
            Thank you peace. It's just so hard.

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              #7
              I can't keep going on this way....

              How are you feeling now Jewels? No plans to pick up the glass again today I hope.
              Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

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                #8
                I can't keep going on this way....

                KTAB;961438 wrote: How are you feeling now Jewels? No plans to pick up the glass again today I hope.
                Drinking still ktab. I feel like I've given up on myself. My ex is putting me thru hell. We work together and now I see him going after a new woman there. I hate him! I'm not over him yet and it hurts so bad to see him doing this. He has no respect for my feelings at all.

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                  #9
                  I can't keep going on this way....

                  At some stage you will have to make the choice not to pick up the next one jewel. When all is said and done you have to do this for you and you alone. You cant let somebody elses actions dictate your life, no matter how painful their actions. You know we are here for you to offer support. Do it sooner rather than later, you owe it to yourself.
                  Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

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                    #10
                    I can't keep going on this way....

                    Jewels83;961442 wrote: Drinking still ktab. I feel like I've given up on myself. My ex is putting me thru hell. We work together and now I see him going after a new woman there. I hate him! I'm not over him yet and it hurts so bad to see him doing this. He has no respect for my feelings at all.
                    Hi Jewels. I used to think in this manner too. "If only my husband would start/stop doing X, I wouldn't need to drink." "If only my boss would start/stop doing X, I wouldn't have to drink." "If only I had a fresh start in a new town, I wouldn't have to drink."

                    NONE of that stuff of life was why I drank. You said it right in your first post - this is going on because you are alcoholic. (and I am too so I completely understand what this does to one's thinking and one's life!)

                    The only way to stop this madness is to find a way to stop drinking. What are you willing to try that you have not tried before? What are you willing to do that's different? Do you have a written plan? If not, are you willing to put some time and effort into making one and getting feedback here about it, from other's who share your problem? If you have a written plan, what went wrong and what will you do differently next time?

                    All the sympathy and empathy in the world isn't going to fix this. I urge you to take action that will help you stop drinking.

                    Strength and hope,

                    DG
                    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                    One day at a time.

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                      #11
                      I can't keep going on this way....

                      Hi Jewels!
                      Sorry you are having such a hard time :l
                      Can you put the drink down and get some rest?
                      :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                      Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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                        #12
                        I can't keep going on this way....

                        Hi Jewels, so sorry that you are feeling like you are. I Hope you can get some sleep soon, god knows I need more! sending lots of love and support your way!

                        Angel
                        Courage is not the absence of fear, it's acting in spite of it.

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                          #13
                          I can't keep going on this way....

                          Hey jewels.How are you? Hope you are okay?
                          Be strong-
                          We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worse that has been done to us.
                          Be constructive. Clear the word of CAN'T

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                            #14
                            I can't keep going on this way....

                            Hi Jewels83, not long ago I would buy the box of wine and drink till i went to sleep. When I woke up at 3am I'd pour the next glass and drink till I fell asleep, then when I woke up whatever the time I'd pour the next drink and so on when I was binging. Ugh! I can't even think about it without shame.
                            I watched "Rain In My Heart" and it scared the pants off me. I've been doing well since. I really recommend it to anyone who is thinking about "giving up on themselves."
                            If the 83 in your username is the year you were born then you have years AF ahead of you. Forget your ex and focus on YOU for now. When you are AF you're going to attract a whole different type of guy and you'll wonder what you ever saw in the ex.
                            Onwards and upwards girl!!!
                            :h Mish :h
                            sigpic
                            Never give up...
                            GET UP!!!

                            AF since 25th November, 2011

                            What might have been is an abstraction
                            Remaining a perpetual possibility
                            Only in a world of speculation.
                            What might have been and what has been
                            Point to one end, which is always present. T.S. Eliot

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                              #15
                              I can't keep going on this way....

                              Hi Jewels,

                              Hope your doing better today, can you post how you are when you get a chance?

                              I know many of us have said this before, but your Ex sounds like a real dirt bag. I remember all the things you posted about him before. Hes a loser and abusive to you. Feel lucky that he is going after another woman and its not YOU! It will be her dealing with his crap before too long if she dates the scumbag.

                              You can rise above this. Show all the people you work with your a strong lady. It is within you!
                              I LOVE MY SEROTONIN AND BOOZE SCREWS IT UP!!!!!

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