Tips for becoming AF

[nykat]

Hi everyone! I know a lot of us are struggling to become AF and a lot of people on the board have already succeeded:goodjob:, would it possible for everyone to post the things that really helped towards becoming AF?! Thanks in advance!

[hdb]

Tips for becoming AF

Hi NyKat

You have taken the first couple of steps that I did which is acknowledging you have a problem to deal with and secondly coming here for support. Speaking purely from a personal perspective I think determination is the number one tool I have in my toolbox and patience my second ....I know it took me years to get myself into this mess so it?s not going to be a quick fix to re-wire my brain and get myself out :argh:. From a practical level I am doing a 30 day AF and have started on the supplements recommended in the MWO book also listed here (number 6):

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f7...-faq-3968.html

I think posting and reading on here helps greatly, oh and I have decided to side swerve any events where alcohol will be present for the time I am doing AF. My end goal is to moderate but I know not everyone wants to (or can) - I don't know if I can achieve that myself but it is what I will be attempting to do 1st.... and if all else fails its AF full stop.

Good luck on your journey; I wish you all the best.

hdb :l:l

[OverIt2007]

Tips for becoming AF

Great Idea NY Kat.

Im sure this post will get lots of great replies!

1) I had to get honest and stop being in denial. How many times can you get the same result without
admitting there is a real problem?

2) Two drinks is just an appetizer for me. Two drinks just kicks in my desire for more and more.(like 10!)
To me, thats a sign of a real problem, and I definately have that problem.

3) After continuing to slip after numerous attempts to get sober, and failing... I took other measures. I made an appointment with a doctor and told them I had a problem. I now take Antabuse to make sure I stay sober. My slips are less and less and I am making REAL progress now.

[K9Lover]

Tips for becoming AF

Hi NyKat!
The biggest thing for me was changing my evening routine. I only drank at home, at night, alone. I had to fill that time with other things. The first few days I stayed away from home at night, I went to the movies, out to eat, library, etc. Anything to pass through those "witching hours". Now that I've broken my routine, I love my evenings at home, alcohol free. Anything different that you can do will help get you through the difficult first days.

[mollyka]

Tips for becoming AF

Hi Nykat, this is a good idea for a thread. My no. 1 tips have changed over the course of all this. Just lately I have realised that all the time from the very beginning of trying to go sober, In the very very back of my head I had a little 'out'. I think I was allowing myself the thought that maybe I could sober up for maybe 6 weeks and then have a little fun 'blow out' on booze and then stop again until I would have another little 'blow out'. In doing that I reckoned that my liver would be healed, my family would be happy, and everything would be under control......not!! That's when things spiralled last year out of control. I now (echoing HDB) know that determination NEVER EVER EVER to drink again is the only way for me, 100% commitment to being sober. When others say that they can't stop drinking I used to think they meant only stopping say at 2 drinks instead of a dozen. Now I realise if I open the gate to alcohol, it could be weeks, or months before I can stop again. That is my tip - TOTAL rejection of alcohol
Molly

[choice]

Tips for becoming AF

Hi NY,

I would suggest at first to make a short term goal. Like a 30 day challenge for yourself and then work ODAT to accomplish that. I became overwhelmed in the first couple of weeks with the concept of "never" and "forever". Those words are less scary now because I've given myself a chance to succeed and the results of staying AF are enough of a reward to keep going.

I'd also suggest spending those 30 days learning as much as you can and sticking close to the MWO sight. I had to avoid the moderation links all together because it was distracting for me and everything became SO much easier when I just started to focus on what a sober life could look like and work towards that.

Taking the glamor out of AL completely and re-wiring my mind was critical. Not feeling denied, or sorry for myself has helped, telling family, and being humble and respectful of my limits in regards to being near AL right now are key.

I'll be 30 days AF tomorrow. It feels good to make a right decision. That in of itself keeps me going, also knowing when I go to bed I'll wake up without guilt, shame, anxiety, groggy... etc. I wouldn't say everyday has been bliss but much more manageable. I'm able to cope much better. I highly recommend going past 2 weeks AF that's when things started to really clear up. I'm hearing 6 months gets even clearer. So I'm shooting for that next. Good luck to you!:h

[Doggygirl]

Tips for becoming AF

I suggest making a written plan that includes all of the ideas listed that seem to make sense for you. Then if you plan isn't working, modify it. Be willing to go to any length to get sober and stay sober. When I first started on this journey, there were things I was willing to do, and things I wasn't willing to do. That didn't get me sober. I finally had to do some things I previously was unwilling to do. But you know what? Now I'm sober and feel pretty good about the prospect of staying sober for the rest of the day, and maybe even tomorrow.

If Sheri can, I can. If I can, you can. And on it goes.

DG

[angel77]

Tips for becoming AF

I found this post from someone a while ago. I saved it and read it when ever I want to drink. It helps me to change my mind set and stay AF. Hope it helps you, and everyone else!




JUNKIE THINKING: One drink won't hurt.
RESPONSE: One drink will always hurt me, and it always will because I'm not a social drinker. One sip and I'll be drinking compulsively again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I only want one.
RESPONSE: I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 5 or 10 or 15 every day. I want them all.

JUNKIE THINKING: I’ll just be a social drinker.
RESPONSE: I’m a chronic, compulsive drinker, and once I drink one I’ll quickly be thinking about the next one. Social drinkers can take it or leave it. That’s not me.

JUNKIE THINKING: I'm doing so well, one won't hurt me now.
RESPONSE: The only reason I'm doing so well is because I haven't taken the first one. Yet once I do, I won't be doing well anymore, I'll be drinking again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I'll just stop again.
RESPONSE: Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it took me to stop this time? And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I'm back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I'll ever be able to stop again?

JUNKIE THINKING: If I slip, I'll keep trying.
RESPONSE: If I think I can get away with one little "slip" now, I'll think I can get away with another little slip later on.

JUNKIE THINKING: I need one to get me through this withdrawal.
RESPONSE: Drinking will not get me through the discomfort of not drinking. It will only get me back to drinking. One sip stops the process of withdrawal and I'll have to go through it all over again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I miss drinking right now.
RESPONSE: Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the pain of drinking right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I'd rather be an ex-drinker with an occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it.

JUNKIE THINKING: I really need to drink now. I'm so upset.
RESPONSE: Drinking is not going to fix anything. I'll still be upset; I'll just be an upset drunk. I never have to have a drink. Drinking alcohol is not a need, it's a want. Once the crisis is over, I'll be relieved and grateful I'm still not drinking.

JUNKIE THINKING: I don't care.
RESPONSE: WHAT IS IT EXACTLY THAT I THINK I DON'T CARE ABOUT? Can I truthfully say I don't care about my pain? I don't care about having a hangover in the morning? I don't care about what I'm doing to my liver, lungs, kidney, and heart? I don’t care about all the people I’ve hurt. No, I care about these things very much. That's why I stopped drinking in the first place.

JUNKIE THINKING: What difference does it make, anyway?
RESPONSE: It makes a difference in the way I live, the way my heart beats, the way I feel about myself. It makes a tremendous difference in every aspect of my physical and emotional health.

[angel77]

Tips for becoming AF

Another piece I found on a MWO thread:

Technically, the "human brain" is called the "neocortex," and the animal brain (booze brain) is called the "midbrain." The neocortex is a complex, conscious section of the brain. It is the part of the brain that gives you a sense of individuality - a sense of "being you." The midbrain is an unconscious section of the brain that regulates all of your survival functions, such as breathing, eating, sex, etc. When you become dependent on alcohol, the booze becomes one of the midbrain's survival drives. However, it can only obtain alcohol if you make a conscious decision to drink. This decision occurs in the neocortex. If the neocortex (you) can learn how the midbrain works, the midbrain becomes powerless to obtain more booze. You are in control, and you can quit.

[anon]

Tips for becoming AF

I need this thread so much. Thanks for starting it . !7 days AF. Feels like a lifetime but still working so hard every evening to stay AF. I WILL DO THIS

[looking for peace]

Tips for becoming AF

I will bookmark this thread. I just want to make a point about OverIt's #2 about not even thinking about the positives of having a drink. Sheri also brought up the point in her post.

I agree, it's not that the negatives of drinking outweigh the positives... there are NO positives. As long as you think there is even the slightest positive, you're always giving yourself an out and you're not 100% committed. I know there are a few threads on Alan Carr's book The Easy Way to Stop Drinking on the site. the most comprehensive seems to be in the "What We Are Reading" section. This book really drives the point home about alcohol not having any positives at all. The book helped me change my perception about feeling deprived and jelous of "normal" drinkers all the time.

[Peacefull]

Tips for becoming AF

The thing that is working for me this time - I have been trying for two years to get sober again..

Taking back my life and regaining my Peace...(nice name btw) seems we are on the same wavelength

[Pride before Fall]

Tips for becoming AF

What has worked well for me is just turning off my view of alcohol as a treat, something I earned or deserve. This "necessary component for a good time" image is thrown at us all the time (just watch a football game). It sells products. Nasty, lucrative products.

AL feels to me kind of like a slow suicide I was complicit in. Although it's awkward sometimes to be 'different' from people around me still doing the alcohol=good time dance, and to sit down with painful feelings I've been drowning out for years, I'm so grateful to also be feeling good feelings again.

[nykat]

Tips for becoming AF

2) Two drinks is just an appetizer for me. Two drinks just kicks in my desire for more and more.(like 10!)
To me, thats a sign of a real problem, and I definately have that problem.

3) After continuing to slip after numerous attempts to get sober, and failing... I took other measures. I made an appointment with a doctor and told them I had a problem. I now take Antabuse to make sure I stay sober. My slips are less and less and I am making REAL progress now.
That sounds just like me! Does the Antabuse stop the desire to drink ?

[nykat]

Tips for becoming AF

K9Lover;963829 wrote: Hi NyKat!
The biggest thing for me was changing my evening routine. I only drank at home, at night, alone. I had to fill that time with other things. The first few days I stayed away from home at night, I went to the movies, out to eat, library, etc. Anything to pass through those "witching hours". Now that I've broken my routine, I love my evenings at home, alcohol free. Anything different that you can do will help get you through the difficult first days.

That is also my problem....when I get home and start making dinner, I open wine and usually drink the whole bottle! When you returned home after your evenings out, the desire to drink wasn't there?