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Mish's Mash

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    Mish's Mash

    The girl in the tight blue jeans and soft-knit top suddenly sprang to life, her eyes sparkling in unison with the final dramatic burst of light and colour from the pyrotechnic display. The night air at the Perth Royal Agricultural Show was chill, and a slight breeze stirred loosened wisps of her soft honey coloured hair against cheeks flushed with excitement, while her brown eyes shone as the last sparks descended in vivid arcs to the dying strains of The Beatles hit "Yesterday."
    As the bright embers spiralled in their journey towards the earth, growing dull and trailing smoky plumes in their wake, the girl turned and began to skip down the stairs, two at a time, and, casting a final glance over her shoulder, she dashed carelessly through the exit doorway. She was immediately thrown off balance, stumbled and would have fallen, had she not been caught and steadied by strong hands.

    Above, the innocent writings of a seventeen year old girl, finishing her secondary schooling, about to embark on tertiary education and with aspirations to become an author. The writings I have kept from all those years ago, because that is a real memory of a time before AL came and soured so many memories that followed.
    That's not to suggest in any way that I might actually have achieved that desire without AL, but it sure didn't help!

    A little history. I was born in 1954, to creative, academic parents. My father was 20 years older than my mother, and he adored her. When I was born he adored me. He even stopped drinking for a couple of years after I was born. Of course, even less then than now, we didn't talk about 'family problems' or 'alcohol' or any kind of social issue. He was never 'drunk,' but 'a bit dopey.' I was about 10 before I understood that drunk and dopey were the same thing.
    My parents' careers meant lots of cocktail parties. As I was a well-behaved and (legend has it) a very appealing child, I attended these from a young age. I remember quite clearly taking trays of finger foods from guest to guest. I was petted and cuddled and admired, and no-one seemed to notice that I was quite adept at finishing off some of the grown up drinks without being noticed , nor was my 'drinking' noticeable. That was the last time I think I was any good at moderation.

    I'll continue this epic in bits and pieces.
    :h Mish :h
    sigpic
    Never give up...
    GET UP!!!

    AF since 25th November, 2011

    What might have been is an abstraction
    Remaining a perpetual possibility
    Only in a world of speculation.
    What might have been and what has been
    Point to one end, which is always present. T.S. Eliot

    #2
    Mish's Mash

    Dear Mish Mash

    Thank you for sharing something so beautiful and personal. A part of yourself from long ago.
    I don't know why that helps me but it does.
    I was around alcohol a lot too from a young age. I would finish drinls at parties. It was also obvious to me that if you didn't drink you were boring. That stuck with me for way longer than I care to think. Not that my parents encouraged me to drink at the age of 10 I should add but their daily drinking appeared normal just as mine would to my children . One of the reasons I stopped. Alcohol does not make anyone interesting. Wish it hadn't taken me 20 years to work that out!

    Thanks again Mish Mash. I always enjoy your posts by the way.

    ELx
    18 Days AF

    Comment


      #3
      Mish's Mash

      Thank you for sharing Mish Mash. I cannot wait for the next installment. You certainly have a flair for writing.
      "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

      AF 10th May 2010
      NF 12th May 2010

      Comment


        #4
        Mish's Mash

        Wow you have a real talent for creative writing. Thanks for sharing i look forward to reading more. xxxxx

        Comment


          #5
          Mish's Mash

          When's the next installment?
          AF since May 6, 2010

          Forget the past, plan for tomorrow, and live for today.

          Comment


            #6
            Mish's Mash

            Mish Mash, thank you for sharing. Alcoholism knows no boundaries. Let the healing begin.

            DG
            Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
            Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


            One day at a time.

            Comment


              #7
              Mish's Mash

              Mish - Thank you for this.........:l:l
              "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
              ..........
              AF - 7-27-15

              Comment


                #8
                Mish's Mash

                Hi Mish :l
                Great post. We're ready for the next chapter. :h
                :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Mish's Mash

                  Mish,

                  Thank you so very much for this insight into your life, You are a very compassionate and thoughtful person and I look forward to reading more and getting to know you better.

                  Dewdrop :h
                  Enjoy today - there will be no other one quite like it....

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Mish's Mash

                    Mish,

                    Thank you for sharing your writing. Very captivating and eloquent.. I want to read more.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Mish's Mash

                      Lovely Mish............please continue when you are ready
                      Molly
                      Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                      contentedly NF since 8/04/14

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Mish's Mash

                        Hi Mish Mash,

                        Wonderful story telling.....and the best part of that story is that now you are writing a brand new one full of hope and optimism for a healthier happier life. With al out of the way Mish, there is no reason at all that you cant pick up that pen and get writing.......I wish you well on your way to a sober life, we can share our journey together...I am al free now about 88 days after a ten years battle that almost took my life and drew sadness on the faces of my children and family.....lets slay the dragon:l
                        I am a part of the family of humanity. Not one person on this earth is a stranger to me. Rev. Ted Noffs

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Mish's Mash

                          Thank you all so much. I am really thinking out where to continue. Your stories all have touched me deep in my heart and I love you.
                          Mish
                          :h Mish :h
                          sigpic
                          Never give up...
                          GET UP!!!

                          AF since 25th November, 2011

                          What might have been is an abstraction
                          Remaining a perpetual possibility
                          Only in a world of speculation.
                          What might have been and what has been
                          Point to one end, which is always present. T.S. Eliot

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Mish's Mash

                            Part Two

                            Being around AL and people who drank caused me to think that it was just a part of life. Normal. What people did. Being born in Australia means that was pretty true.
                            When I was Christened it was a bit of a society do, and, at 18 months, I started my relationship with AL by downing half a glass of Gin and Tonic and dregs from others' glasses. It came to light when I was discovered singing my heart out and then going into a very sound sleep.
                            Around that time, there was a serious outbreak of Polio in WA, and my parents flew me to live with my grandmother in Sydney until the danger had passed. She would give me a small brandy at night to get me to sleep if I was restless. She was a former kindergarten teacher!!!
                            Back in Perth eventually, I don't have much memory of drinking except the cocktail parties and restaurants. My parents were from the school of thought that believed if children were introduced to AL gradually (like "French children"), they would be able to "handle drinking" later in life.

                            Finally, school. I liked some of it and hated some of it!!! I loved the reading and language activities, but an absolute horror of catching and throwing beanbags stands out in my mind...I remember my beanbag was green check. I can still smell the wheat in the beanbags as I write.
                            The worst, however, was Maths. I am a Mathemoron of prodigous proportion.
                            My biggest problem at school seemed to be that I was a daydreamer. Here are some comments from my Student's Report (Primary):
                            Maths
                            Rather slow in her setting down (Year 2), Too slow. Can do better (Year 3 );
                            Attitude
                            Quite good, however her tendency to daydream causes her to be slow at written work (Year 3), Tends to lack sufficient drive and application. Mish* shows interest in all her work but her application to her work still varies. She has a lovely personality, is always bright and pleasant and is a pleasure to have her in the room (Years 4 - 6).
                            My Mother's comment : "Mish is showing a glimmer of ambition but her motivation to learn is still weak. Her naturally gregarious nature should become more apparent as it is being encouraged at home. We would be happy to co-operate in any plan to improve Mish's concentration."
                            It seemed that when I had an interest in a particular subject or topic, I excelled, but if (and when) I eventually lost interest, my marks plummeted. I was constantly being given pep talks at home about trying harder, applying myself and lectured on the importance of a good education for a successful life. "If you don't get a good education you'll end up working in a Colgate factory drilling holes for the bristles in toothbrushes..." My 9 year old reasoning at the time: "Well, somebody has to do it."
                            In Year 7 , I was sent to a highly respected Girls' School. Same pattern. I thrived in language studies (including French). I'd started learning French because I had lost interest in dancing in the West Australian Ballet Company. I struggled in Maths and Sports (back to the beanbags), except perhaps gymnastics because of the ballet background. Subjects I liked I blitzed. Otherwise, I was more interested in the sound the automatic sprinklers made as they watered the rose beds (I can hear it still).
                            Year 8 at the Girls' School, and they began by having us sit an IQ test. Bummer!!! Having come out near the top of the 100 girls who sat the test, heavier expectations were laid upon me. More parental lecures about my not trying hard enough, more pressure from teachers to lift my game.
                            The thing was I was doing my best. I really was trying. My self-esteem had been spiralling downward and now I really saw what a disappointment I was to my parents. It was the beginning of an emptiness that needed a lot of filling, and I didn't have the skills to do it constructively.

                            * Obviously changed from my real name.

                            My next installment will entail how AL impacted me during these early school years. Thanks for reading.
                            :h Mish :h
                            :h Mish :h
                            sigpic
                            Never give up...
                            GET UP!!!

                            AF since 25th November, 2011

                            What might have been is an abstraction
                            Remaining a perpetual possibility
                            Only in a world of speculation.
                            What might have been and what has been
                            Point to one end, which is always present. T.S. Eliot

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Mish's Mash

                              Thank you Mish so much for sharing your story. :l
                              "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
                              ..........
                              AF - 7-27-15

                              Comment

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