A month I think?

[okkslady]

Its been a month or will be a month tomorrow? Not sure...I can not lie and say that I have been alcohol free I went to a concert and while I was there I couldnt resist temptation and I had one budlight. The whole time drinking it I didnt feel happy, I was worried and disappointed in myself. After the concert people wanted me to go out to a bar and I said no and came home and went to bed. I felt good in the morning and no hangover, but I wish I didnt have that one beer. I ran into a friend the other day. He works with alcoholics and I have told him of my troubles and attempts...I told him that i was quiting and about my slip up. He told me it is the hardest thing I will ever do and to just keep moving forward...he also said I was looking good, brighter and my face was clearer! I was happy to hear this and I looked in mirror and it is clearer and no more puffy face lol. I have been thinking of going out lately just cause of the loneliness. I have some personal problems in my life with exs and break-ups and I want to go out and socialize and drink to take the pain away...I am holding out but seem to be slipping in depression.....tough times with job money and relationships makes me want to say "Im done" and go have some drinks...I know it is wrong and I most likely wont but I want 2 anybody have a joke...I could use a laugh...or better yet a good boyfriend for me (haha my lil joke) goodnight to whoever is reading this at this hour! GodBless

[mollyka]

A month I think?

Good morning and good on you Ok, a month is brilliant. This is hard - anyone who says it isn't is a liar, it's like people who say childbirth doesn't hurt!! The great thing about it is the rewards are huge. Emotionally, physically, mentally and even financially. I sense the reality of sober living is catching up - sometimes manifests itself in sadness and in some - depression. I (in my head) mocked my doc when he told me he thought I had depression - I had, and I do and had been burying it in booze I suspect for many years. Maybe you need to see a doc and have a chat?
Oh and IMHO a man only makes things worse:H:H
:goodjob:Molly

[Pushinarock]

A month I think?

Congrats on 30 days (almost) AF! Don't beat yourself up too much over the beer. Shit happens and you just have to move on. I too have job, $$ & relationship problems but am not allowing myself to use these issues as an excuse to drink anymore. Stay strong ~

[symbols]

A month I think?

Old joke I told my mom the other day..

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey, why the long face??".

Hang tough!

[choice]

A month I think?

Hey Ok,
You sound great you really do! Good job!!! xo

[Doggygirl]

A month I think?

Congratulations on your progress okkslady!! I can relate to the lonliness and isolation. I spent a number of years like that. Just removing the alcohol doesn't magically change our lives, unfortunately. It DOES give us a lot more options for our future though. I encourage you to get out of the house and find some sober, inexpensive / free things to do. Fresh air and exercise might help lift your spirits.

Hang in there!

DG

[okkslady]

A month I think?

encouraging!

Thanks for the encouragement! I do feel good. and the joke LOL was funny...Symbols I really did laugh out loud bout the horse walking into the bar!!! Today I hung out with my parents and son...we went to lunch and then they went shopping for a new car....we were also able to see an airshow from the car lot which was awesome because it was soooo close to the airforce base. It was something to see! When I was binge drinking it seemed like the only thing I cared about was getting dressed up for a night out. I would do anything to get out...I would leave my son with my parents who would always be mad at me about it...or I would send him with his father just to go out and get drunk. Spending the whole night away from my family to be with "friends"....Many of those nights I could have been takin from my loved ones, alcohol posioning, drunk driving, riding with drunks the list goes on of course....I am lonely and feel isolated but those are the thoughts I have to keep reminding my self of so I wont break down and say forget this ima go out in drink it all away, have "fun" and let loose. Today was a beautiful day with my parents and son...the sun was shining, the weather is feeling more like fall....and I am alive with no hangover!!!!!

[mollyka]

A month I think?

Good on you Lady! the seperation from the old drinking life to a new life can be a lot daunting - sounds like you are making the first steps. It takes a while to 'see' the beautiful day with the sun shining. A little prop. I'm using at the moment - I sort of made it up myself but I think I used to do it when I was a self-absorbed teenager is to look at myself from 'outside' e.g. when I'm in town shopping I 'see' myself through other peoples eyes - and I see a sober, proud woman rushing around looking for a new coat, with a few bob in my pocket, a lovely family to go home to etc. and it does an awful lot for my self respect. When I was drinking I LITERALLY couldn't look in the mirror!
Molly

[Peacefull]

A month I think?

Way to go okkslady,

Isn't it wonderful to be present and enjoy life sober. I don't like to be alone for long and can relate to the isolated feeling. We really need to work on filling up that time.

[ronaldolover]

A month I think?

Great job Oklady!! We all slip every now and then....but it doesn't mean we still aren't dedicated to getting better! I did have a glass of wine this weekend....but I am okay with that because I controlled myself and did not wake up feeling bad. I am starting another week AF and I feel great about it. Enjoy spending time with your family and hang on to that feeling of being sober and alive!!

[okkslady]

A month I think?

working out

started working out...I am sooo sore! bout to head out and it is a beautiful day...I feel good...This weekend will bring on some pressure because I am headed to a festival/fair and the only reason I would even go in the past was because I knew that there would be great parties at night.....I never took my son with me I always went with a friend..this year I am taking my son...they have a parade and free carnival free rodeo and I have never seen any of it just the night life...this year will be my first year there sober and with my son and I want to experience everything...it is like a new beginning

[Sunbeam]

A month I think?

Okkslady,
Congrats on doing a hard job for 30 days. I'm thinking you learned more from that Budlite than you would have from another AF day. I'm not encouraging you to drink again, but sometimes many of us seem to need to have alcohol in the picture occasionally to continue our learning.

[Design For Life]

A month I think?

Okkslady congrats on a month almost AF, it has been the same for me, I had two glasses of wine on Sunday and although I did feel a little guilty, like Sunbeam said I learnt a lot from those two glasses..

1. I didn't really need them

2. It would be all too easy to have forced myself past the second glass that I wasn't really enjoying and slip back to how I was before.

That gave me the jolt I needed to realise this is something I'm going to be working at for the foreseeable future, but I'm accepting it now, I'd far rather be sober than drinking again.

Four times in the last two weeks I've been asked if I drink? Do I like wine...etc etc and each time I've proudly answered truthfully "Well actually I don't anymore" I kind of got a little kick out of seeing the surprised reactions, I guess nowadays people expect everyone to drink to some extent..

Okay wittering on too much again Enjoy your day with your Son, I'm learning how lovely it is to be a "normal" Mom to my kids again, I could cry though sometimes when I think of how much we've missed out on... Like you say it's like a new beginning

[okkslady]

A month I think?

made it through

I love coming back and reading everybodys words of encouragement and I know have probably said that before but it is true! PeaceSeeking it is wonderful to be sober and enjoy life....Ronald and Design thanks for sharing your experiences with your minor setbacks...I am happy that mine was minor and u are sooo right I learned alot from that one budlight and I just dont need it anymore...Well that is how I feel at this moment but each day is a struggle...I made it through this weekend alcohol free! I went to the festival and participated in a Fun Run @ 7am (previous years I was sleeping and waking up to a hangover!) The weather was gorgeous and my son ran with me....I am blessed to be alive and sharing these experiences with my son with a clear mind! I can not lie and say I wasnt tempted to drink...I was staying with family and there was a budlight in the fridge...it was a warm day and I thought...man how good would that taste!!! Then saturday night my family member asked me to go out with her and I almost did...I said to myself you can go and have a good time just dont drink! It was like a battle in my head! I knew if I went I would be at a bar surrounded by alcohol and I am not sure I am strong enought to face that yet so I didnt go. I stayed in and went to bed with my son by my side, safe and warm...I felt great in the morning. I feel positive and motivated...hope I keep this up!!!

[hazeleyes]

A month I think?

Great job Oklady, your doing well and thanks for sharing your story.