A month I think?

[mere]

A month I think?

Very sad okkslady...just know all of us are here for you if you ever decide to come back again....

[choice]

A month I think?

Hi Okkslady,
I know what you mean about the gratitude phase coming to an end. I'm feeling a bit isolated myself, especially the past few days. It seams as though this sober path is only possible if one is vigilant. I personally am getting pretty weary. Especially with all the offers lately to get a drink, or someone saying "your still not drinking?" Whew! I'm going to stick with it though. It's tough sometimes (like today) but I remember thinking it's worth it so I'm going to just trust it will get better. Take care, I'm pretty sure I'll see you again as I think your a strong lady with how honest you always are when you post. xo

[Dewdrop]

A month I think?

Hey there Okkslady,

Was having a nosey peek at work and saw your post. I hope you are okay, can you check in and let us know how you are?? :l:l

Dewdrop :h

[okkslady]

A month I think?

tired

I still havent drank yet but the urge is sooo strong. I can see myself having a drink at some point. I was so frustrated last night that I wanted to drink..I sent a friend a txt n said I needed a drink but they didnt txt back so I am still sober ....but I just feel I want to do it. I know all the problems it has caused and I know all the harm that it has done...I feel to isolated.

[Choochie]

A month I think?

OKK - I'm sorry to hear that you think you might be giving up your sobriety. I'm pretty new so don't have too much information for you but I am wondering the following: Do you really want to quit, Do you have any kind of plan in place to help you, Have you read the MWO book or gotten any of the products tha would help you with a plan, i.e. medications, vitamins, an exercise plan, meditation tapes to retrain your thinking, etc.??

There is a lot of information on this website if you have time to read. I hope you can keep from giving in to your cravings because life is so much better without alcohol. But, if you don't really want it, your chances of success dwindle obviously. It's hard work -- doesn't just fall in your lap. You would have to try. If you can't quit completely, you might consider moderating which some people here have done. There is a tab specifically about the medications if you need to consider that route.

Anyway, I am sending you peace and strength. I hope you can rethink your situation and not drink, but we all have to find our own way. This site can only help you if you want to be helped.

Best of luck,
Choochie

[Dewdrop]

A month I think?

So glad you are okay for now Okkslady, I'm at work and have very little time but just wanted to ask if you have thought that you might be depressed?? Would it be an idea to see a doctor and talk through your struggles. Maybe medication of some kind would be an answer - I haven't done the meds so far so am no expert, just a thought. My mood was quite low by about 3 weeks, more a kind of flat feeling and I have been taking gaba and sAME which have really helped.

I'll check in later but really hope you can hang in there, you must be about 2 months AF by now ?? It's a lot to throw away and have to start all over again and I know that you are doing this not just for yourself but for your son.

I'm thinking of you :l

Dewdrop :h

[okkslady]

A month I think?

problems

Im sure I will figure it out. and i have been taking vitamins and I read alot on this site and I read alot about alcoholism in general online and I watch you tube videos alot about people going through this. I dont want to be the person I was before and I dont want to be the person I am now...that doesnt make sense but again thanks for the advice....I worked out today feel better. I feel like the people around me dont know what I am going through...I have read peoples advice about going to AA meetngs etc..but I am in a rural town with one stop light, carless, and the nearest towns are 20-30 mins...It sounds like I am making excuses and I probably am..but its just difficult...well thanks everyone..

[Wagoneer]

A month I think?

OKK - so sorry this is such a struggle. You seriously are not alone. This is only my fourth day (I have been on and off the wine wagon so many times) and it would be super easy to fall right back into the same habit. My husband and kids have no idea that I would drink as much wine as I did (but maybe they did - my husband is incredibly passive). I did hide it well - they woudl only see me drink wine every few days. Although I woudl not drink more than one bottle a night, it was still, one bottle too many a night for me. I sometime would hide it - drink while I cooked, etc. Nothing huge happened to make me want to stop, something in my brain just said STOP IT. So I did. And I am not going to say everything is hunky dory since I could probably go out to Trader Joes right now and get a few bottles of Three Buck Chuck and they would be delicious, but I am really trying not to. I thought about going to AA, but it just does not fit my personality. Plus the fact with three kids a huge commute and a full time job, it simply would be too hard. I'd probably get s stressed I woudl crack open a nice bottle of Cab. That is why I am back here again. These people are amazing and welcoming and non-judgemental. They have helped me more than I can say - even just in this four day period. It makes it easier knowing that there are other people who just cannot drink. Period. I think I am one of those people. Sorry for the ramble. I just wanted to tell you that we are thinking about you and hope that you stay strong. It is a hard road, but life changing and well worth it. The people who want to see you drinking even though they know of your struggle are not the people you want to hang with - seriously. Things will get better. Just be patient, stay in contact with the folks here, read the posts and know that you have worth as a person. Take care.

[choice]

A month I think?

You sound good Okk. I think that the transformation is not to be taken lightly and you can pat yourself on the back for taking the steps to change. I really relate to not wanting to be the person I was before, and not wanting to be the person I am now. The limbo of this point on the path is hard work. I find it lonely not relating to my peers right now as I stay sober. Sober is so self aware. Mostly, I just don't want to live with the shame I had going on while I drank.... and I'm not to sure if I could maintain who I am now... if I had a drink. I just know one thing today and that is I can't go wrong if I don't drink so I won't. Not today. Working out helps me too. There is so much thinking to do and it helps to be physical and burn off some of the frustration. Take care.

[okkslady]

A month I think?

today

Thanks for sharing your story with me wagoneer....it does help to read and relate to others....I try and stay close to the boards when I am feeling like this...I cant do this on my own, I need the advice, I need the encouragement...its funny even in my workouts I need the trainer there telling me YOU CAN DO IT almost at every step...or I cant do it. Choice u are so right...not relating to what u use to relate to is hard...and I guess it is such a complete lifestyle change for me and so drastic...but there are days I feel great and days when I am wayyyy down. One thing that keeps me going is I dont want to seem like a fraud or a liar to my parents...I want them to be proud of me as they are today being sober. Maybe the things that I am missing arent so important .....like the social aspect and being noticed..whether it be negative or positive attention..I dunno what to say anymore but thanks everybody u are great

[mere]

A month I think?

Wow, good for you okk! I'm glad for you and you continue to be inspiring!

[Choochie]

A month I think?

OKK, just wanted to say hi - sounds like you're doing much better. :l