I am really stressed right now and couldn't wait to get home for lunch to reach out to my MWO friends. At first I wasn't going to and keep this to myself, but that will only set me up to binge. That is my m.o. stay strong on the outside and crumble on the inside.
I am scared I might drink due to this unforeseen stress...I don't want to get into too much detail but I could really sit with a bottle of wine and get nice and numb. I know that won't make it all go away, it is only a temporary escape....
I won't pick up no matter what though, I will ride this reality and cry when I want to.:upset:
This is life right?? The good and the bad, I must keep sober to stay healthy for one, but also if I drink now I will get totally smashed and it will make things much worse.
WOW, just writing this is taking the edge off....
K, I'm done now and thank you for listening :h
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