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    Sober October Challenge!

    Neart, I can totally understand as I do the same thing. If I email a friend and don't get a response in a day or two, my mind starts wondering what I did...I know it's my anxiety kicking in and also the addiction because that is when I would want a drink to quell the irrational thoughts.

    On the topic of thoughts, I have been thinking of drinking all day...actually resigning to the fact that I will try and moderate. I did not drink and don't want one now, I just kept reminding myself of the last couple of drinking episodes and that was enough to keep me from drinking. I am not sure if I will moderate in the near future, but I know I am not ready yet.

    Having a rough day, just have to ride the wave right???

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      Sober October Challenge!

      Morning Neart and Peace. Sometimes something is screaming at you and both your posts are screaming at me!!! Neart, I was exactly like you round the 3 months mark - only 10 times worse. The anxiety was appalling. My doc actually described it as a 'bit of a breakdown' - I know what you mean about it not being booze linked - not directly obviously, but I still think it is the aftermath. I just don't think it is discussed enough here. When I realised that this was just another sympton of this awful disease - it did ease my mind a little, however in my case I did need an anti-depressant, quite a strong one in fact, don't know how that will pan out long term - he wants me to stay on it for a year, but at the moment I feel fantastic - anxiety is gone and I just feel - sort of - happy WOW - I haven't felt 'happy' for a long time - not recommending AD's necessarily, what I'm trying to say is that probably how you feel is AL related and to deal with it as such - maybe (actually I'm imagining it does) it goes of its own accord in time. FB is a bugger actually, I get hurt when my daughter is in contact with her pals here and I haven't got a message, even tho she may have sent me an epistle earlier that day!! Be gentle with yourself young Neart! Even if I'm not right and that anxiety is 'as you are' so to speak - my Dad had another wise saying (bout relationships this one) which I have always agreed with 'if he doesn't want me, I don't want him'! Let it go for a while, if it's to be, it'll happen. Looking forward to seeing you next week!
      Peace, the drinking thoughts do ease, how long are you AF now? It's interesting how you say you thought about drink all day, but then it went? Urge-surfing in the tool-box is a tool I still use, thankfully with less frequency or necessity!
      Anyway, enough lecturing from me. Trying to organise a 'Christmas Day' for daughter coming home in a couple of weeks (she won't be with us for christmas) and I'd say Napoleon had an easier time organizing his armies goin to Russia than I have organising my 4 sprogs to all be in the same place at the same time
      Molly
      Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
      contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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        Sober October Challenge!

        Yes Molly when I went to bed last night I wondered where everyone was-- Hope you enjoy slapping the make up on this morning. At least you are not trying to cover up the ravages of the night before.

        Neart what you describe is pretty normal the feeling of low self esteem that we get when we think someone does not like us and the embarrassment that goes with it. It triggers so many negative feelings and "I did not like him much anyway"

        Peace the cravings are also my worst enemy. Have you tried the craving thread? I keep thinking one day I will moderate but from what I read here and know about myself it is a slippery slope as 2 drinks are never enough.:upset:

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          Sober October Challenge!

          Crossed post Molly Good morning Ireland!!

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            Sober October Challenge!

            Hey Sober Octoberers :H

            I've not posted for a few days (though I've been checking in) had to undergo an unexpected minor, but rather painful, outpatient procedure uch: and the meds were making me a bit woozy, on the mend now though.

            Neart and Dewdrop well done on 90 and 50 days respectively! :goodjob:

            Peace, I recently realized that we have the same AF start date, August 29th, so I now keep a special eye on you! I'm sorry to hear that you had a rough day -- stay strong...think of all the benefits being AF has brought you and what AL has taken away.

            Hope everyone has a great day, nearly half way through the challenge folks! :h
            :heart: AF since 29th August 2010 :heart:

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              Sober October Challenge!

              Hurray - folks are back! Anon, give us a break with the make-up, it's not even half 7:H
              Sorry you had to have a job done Enja, hope you are feeling good now? Everybody is really clocking up serious time alright - we are the BUSINESS!!!!
              Had another little 'AHA' moment last night. Hubs announced that he might go off on his motorbike for a last trip before winter sets in - he would be gone Fri and Sat. Even up to a couple of months ago I know one of my first thoughts would have been 'no one would know if I had a drink' - those thoughts are gone -:yay:. Jeez lads can't face all that slap this morning
              Molly
              Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
              contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                Sober October Challenge!

                Good morning everyone. Sorry I missed the posts last night! I'm trying to take a few courses in the evenings to keep myself occupied during my former "drinking times".

                Anyway, see I missed lots of supportive activity! Molly, money much better spent on makeup than Vodka! Have fun wading through all that makeup! (haha) And good idea Choochie to think of something for 30 days...hmmm...need to think about that one myself!

                Neart, I can relate to the ongoing struggles we face in life. Life doesn't stop just because we stopped drinking -- but I know for myself it's a lot easier to face things sober than hungover and feeling lousy.

                I'm off to the beach for a long weekend with my husband. Hopefully we're coming around to a better place. I'm not sure about my internet access out there, but I'll be back in a few days if not!
                Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.:h

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                  Sober October Challenge!

                  Good morning everyone :l

                  Feeling better today(so far, it's early yet lol)...I will definitely visit the other threads on cravings. I knew coming on this site would help, you guys are really wonderful. I was on the computer just before my hubby and I were getting ready to watch the tube and he says "aren't you watching the show" and the mood I was in yesterday I could have freaked out on him and want a drink even more. But *pat myself on back* I finished with my post and told him that I was having a bad day and coming on this site is very important to me. I don't think he knew what I was doing on the computer, but anyway I stressed that if I need to be on the computer I will stay on, it's more important than a tv program....oh well, just my bitchy mood of the day yesterday.

                  We ended up having a nice night and he really does understand and was very supportive once I told him my struggle yesterday. I know he doesn't think that that I do have a drinking problem, but he does know how bad my anxiety is after I drink.

                  Thank you guys for listening and being there, I know if I go to anyone else who doesn't think I have a problem they really would not understand and say wtf have a glass of wine, you don't drink that much...and that would be the green light to forge ahead and drink.

                  Oh well, feeling better today - working out again and cutting out sugar as I know that is the culprit for my mood swings and cravings...

                  :thanks: :h

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                    Sober October Challenge!

                    Oh ya, Molly I am on Day 47, the longest I have gone in 3 years :0)

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                      Sober October Challenge!

                      Hi guys, thanks all for the support and the space to vent I'm feeling a little better today. I gave myself a little talking to in the car this morning, about getting all anxious etc. I think you're right Molly, about it being linked - usually when I get the hyper/anxious feeling, I'd just drink (and usually end up doing something stupid). Now, I have to sit with those feelings, and I have to learn a new response to them. But that's what life is all about, isn't it! So, I decided that I needed to let go of this 'thing' with my friend, and to let him be. That I need to stop trying to force other people and life in general to fit in with my view of how things should be. I think this links to AL too - the role AL had in my life is very different from the role I wanted it to have. So I'll keep an eye on the ol' anxiety levels, and see if I can manage them myself. If I can't, it's off to the doc with me

                      Peace, I'm glad you're feeling better. Cravings are scary - I usually get them shortly after I've convinced myself that I no longer need to keep an eye on this thing. Then wham!

                      Icandothis - what courses are you doing? I went to an info night last night about Israel/Palestine (I don't understand whats happening there at all) - this guy starts talking to me afterwards - he was really friendly and funny - so naturally I panicked! Tonight, going to an Amnesty meeting and will try not to freak if a member of the opposite sex talks to me :H t's good to have some social life that doesn't revolve around AL though, isn't it?

                      Enja - hope you are feeling better soon x Hi Anon and everyone else Molly - you get two Christmasses - how COOL is that!!! My fav time of the year. Maybe you could get them all to write down all their free evenings and then you can pick from that? Although, trying to get them to do that could be tricky...

                      ps guess who just texted me about meeting up this weekend?!

                      (repeat to self: I will not panic/freak out...I will not panic/freak out...I will not....)
                      AF since 13th July 2010
                      NF since 5th July 2010

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                        Sober October Challenge!

                        Neart, I haven't been in on these posts long, but just wanted to say that it's like deja vu when I read them (the parts about your "romantic" life). All my younger years revolved around men/dating/marriage..........and the constant struggle that's part and parcel. I finally settled down and am so much happier without all the drama. Being older for me has meant appreciating peace and serenity and not needing romance/men feels almost as freeing to me as being rid of AL!

                        I don't know how old you are (and no one could have convinced me of this when I was younger) but just wanted to give you my "sage" advice. There may be a day when the romance is insignificant to you and you might just feel as good as you feel sober -- just couldn't help but draw an analogy.

                        Anyway, just wanted to say hi and tell you that there might be a better time down the road that you can't even imagine!

                        Hugs,
                        Choochie

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                          Sober October Challenge!

                          Hiya Team! Just a quick hello to everyone . Will catch up tomorrow! Day 53 for me and worn out from the gym!! Have a great day everyone xx
                          :lilangel:

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                            Sober October Challenge!

                            Sorry I missed you all last night I received some books and meditation cd?s yesterday and treated myself to an early, relaxing night and mellowed out with my candles and soothing tapes. I did check in earlier but didn?t post, glad tho that everyone is okay, and hang in there Peace you have come so far to pack it in for a glass of vinegar . Neart you are so sweet and I am so happy that he did contact you, don?t be so hard on yourself you give amazing advise to everyone else be good to yourself for a change.

                            Spinning and anon you two are just toooo much! My goodness I don?t know where you get the energy from for all that exercise. Way to go girls I am very impressed, exercise is my next thing to tackle I have been trying to do a 3 ? 5 mile walk two or three times a week but it is a bit sporadic and very weather dependant.

                            I treated myself to a lovely pair of Italian leather black gloves for winter, I have a new winter swing-back coat that has ? length sleeves and the gloves are longer than usual and have a deep black and white fur cuff. Needless to say I think they look very classy together and make me feel quite elegant. Did cheat and buy them at TKMax half price ? don?t I just love that shop .

                            Hi to Enja, Choochie, Choice, Icando and of course the exuberant, vivacious and very wise Molly what would we do without you??????? Hope i haven't missed anyone.

                            Dewdrop :h
                            Enjoy today - there will be no other one quite like it....

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                              Sober October Challenge!

                              TIRED

                              Hi Dewdrop and everyone else!!

                              Good for you Neart. God that dating stuff is hard on the old nerves! I came off Facebook as a positive step for me in my sober life.

                              Well so much for my fabulous fitness regime I was planning a big run this afternoon and guess what?? I fell asleep for 2 hours. How delicious to have a sleep in the afternoon when completely sober and wake up refreshed. Anyway I will have to do the bloody 10 miler tomorrow-- I have to remember that I am in my 60's and have only just given up the grog.

                              Hmm I wonder how Molly got on with her new make up?

                              Off to babysit youngest grandchild Best reason to be sober (No just another reason to be sober)

                              Love to you all!!!

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                                Sober October Challenge!

                                Urge-surfing in the tool-box is a tool I still use

                                Molly, where do I find above.
                                :thanks:

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