Sober October Challenge!

[Dewdrop]

Sober October Challenge!

On the ?what do you say about not drinking? front initially I said that I was having a month detox and then I said that because I felt so good I decided to extend it for another month. However Tuesday will be me at 7 weeks so getting near the end of 2 months and I think that I will just say ?No thanks I don?t drink? and leave it at that. It?s not a problem for me so don?t see why it should be a problem for other people? Guess I will just have to go with it and see what happens.

I?m quite envious of you all meeting up in Dublin and I bet you have a lovely time, if it?s a regular meeting I?d love to come along next year, it must be really inspiring to meet in person and be able to talk to some of the very people who have supported and understood all you?ve worked so hard for.

Neart thanks for recommending that book I?ve put it on my list ? I ordered 4 from Amazon the other night and a couple of meditation cd?s and I also bough another 4 tonight in Tescos, I need more bookshelves I feel a trip to Ikea coming on. Good on you Choochie for knowing to quit when you were ahead, it does get easier as time goes on but you need to be very vigilant at the start.

Evening to everyone else, I?ve had a lovely but busy weekend and need to get ready for work tomorrow.

Dewdrop :h

[Choochie]

Sober October Challenge!

You know, the hardest part for me is that I was used to showing up at functions pretty well lubricated which made me feel more "sociable." Social functions are going to be hard for me - but waiting to put myself in that position will help a lot.

Thanks for the encouragement everyone.

[choice]

Sober October Challenge!

Hello Everyone :l
I'm just checking in after the weekend. Today is 7 weeks AF for me
I had a bit of a challenging Friday evening. My boyfriend came home completely fall down drunk. He has been very supportive of my choosing sobriety and we have been getting along so well since I made that decision. We've had a few tiffs about me saying no to a few social events because I wanted to avoid cravings but it was nothing compared to some of the full out fights we had when we both had been drinking. My first 30 days I think he pretended he was doing the same thing I was. ( I don't mind if he follows along but I don't believe someone is AF unless they really are... like two drinks after work with co-workers is not AF. It's moderating. If someone can moderate that is outstanding... I wish I could but it is NOT AF!) It angers me that he is bragging that he is AF. My first month AF he was moderating. Now he is getting drunk to the point of wasted every other weekend. When he came home on Friday night he was picking fights and I would not engage. I decided to hide from him.... um, in our bedroom on my side of the bed while he wandered around our flat bumping into things and repeatedly saying "I'm sorry. where are you you? you hate me don't you? Your not going to marry me anymore hugh??." For about 3 hours I had been reassuring him "It's okay. I'm right here. I love you." I was just so tired of saying it and having him NOT believe me... and want to pick on me more and more. Luckily he finally passed out in the lounge with rugby blaring. In the morning he was still drunk saying the same sorry, you hate me stuff. I really had to get myself to the gym and was gone for 2 hours. I think the hardest part of this was 1) not smoking 2) not calling him an idiot 3) not going to a hotel. The part that bugs me the most is that he was drinking with these women from work who told me many months ago...when they were drunk... (and when I was drunk then too) told me that I wasn't good enough for him that I was too shy and quiet and they were worried that I was cramping his style as a "fun guy". argh! sorry for the long rant! I am proud of myself for staying AF and NF. VERY HARD. But worth it!!! :h:h

[daisy45]

Sober October Challenge!

:new:Hello to all. hope you don't mind me dropping in. Having searched for a long time for help without having to go public I found this site a week ago. As of now I am now 7 days AF! Your stories, trials and achievements have been so inspirational. I can't believe what a difference you all,[ without even knowing about me], have made to me and my silent struggle with alcohol.....Thank you all. So far so good! Check in every night for a bit of courage to go forth the next day with new determination! By being so open you are also helping others who are a bit shy of joining in yet or ever! :thanks:

[Choochie]

Sober October Challenge!

Hi Daisy - welcome. It is a great place. I'm new too.

[enja]

Sober October Challenge!

Hey there Sober October Peeps-

Just checking in and happy to say still blessedly AF (6 weeks today)! I think it was Molly who was mentioning how she appreciates and enjoys the little things that AL previously obliterated - I agree 100% I'm really enjoying going to bed and waking up clear headed and feeling great! Such an improvement from passing out on the sofa then waking up to go to bed to sleep fitfully until it was time to get up feeling like shite!

:welcome: to Choochie and Daisy - hope you stick around, this is a wonderful place to help you on your journey. :h

Choice, sorry to hear about your boyfriend being an idiot! You deserve a medal for your restraint. :l Dewdrop, good on you for now telling people you don't drink - I'm still kinda playing it by ear, depending on which friends I'm with though I hope to be able to also just say "I don't drink" at some stage. Hip, hope your anniversary w/e went well, thinking of you. Anyone hear from Sid recently? I hope she's hanging in there.

[dextie]

Sober October Challenge!

Well I made it through thanksgiving day no drinks. Ifeel great know. But around dinner everyone was drinking and iwent to husband who was also drinking and asked him where they beer was, well he said I could do what I want but I would be upset with self in morning. He said I might l feel good know with drinking but in the morning not so good.
So I made myself a coffee and do I ever feel happy I stayed strong.
AF 7days.
I agree people drinking when your sober are harder to tolerate.
When u see their eyes start to change, u relize that is how your kids see you.
Glad everyone had nice weekend :nutso:

[mollyka]

Sober October Challenge!

You rock Dextie, SOBER THANKSGIVING - put that in your pipe!!! My daughter moved to Canada and is not a drinker at all, but she sent me the same text 3 times yesterday so ...read between the lines....!
Choice (7 weeks :goodjob, definitely a little:angel:! I'd have probably decked him, Imagine the row it would have turned into if you had been drinking - good on you girl.
Morning Choochoo, Ican, Dewdrop, Enja (6 weeks :goodjob and a big:welcome: Daisy, we love new people, delighted to see you here, actually now you are here we don't let you go you know!

Had a wierd one last night 2nd time round. I had a drinking dream - well I've had quite a few over the last while but this was the 2nd really really vivid one about drinking gin and tonic - it was never a drink of choice for me. Occasionally if there was nothing else in the house. I went to Hungary with a girl I haven't seen for years (in the dream) and was drinking g&t when hubs turned up over there and humped and fussed and had 'his face' on, which thankfully I haven't seen for a long time! It was sooooooo vivid, I woke up sort of disturbed, anyway was so relieved it was a dream!
Hipster, check in and let us know how you are, I too was thinking of you. And Sid, hope you are ok?

Good morning to everyone else, lovely morning here in Dublin, having a lazy morning - on late shift today
Will check in later
Molly

[neart]

Sober October Challenge!

Morning everyone! Just back from piilates, boy can I feel it It's a beautiful day here, clear blue skies and really mild - hard to believe it's nearly winter. I've been up and down the past few days - really happy and content, then edgy, then content, then anxious, etc. Tis exhausting! Am determined to get myself on an even keel though.

Molly - I've had such strange dreams since I gave up AL. So vivid and mixed up. Sometimes they leave you feeling rattled for a while, don't they? esp when you see hubbies cross face

Choice, I really really feel for you. First of all, if I saw those girls that work with your boyf, I would sort them out for you :boxer:- they don't sound like kind people. And as for boyfriend - it is so tough dealing with someone when they are drunk like that.

I think it can be difficult for both people when you enter into a relationship as one person, then alter something really fundamental along the way. Because going AF isn't just about giving up AL, it's about changing your way of thinking. So he may be struggling with this too. Do you have things that you like doing together, away from AL? As in, that you both like hiking or something - where it's a good alternative to going to the pub on a Friday, for instance. So that it's not like a sacrifice? Have ye talked about his drinking / you not drinking while both of you are stone sober? What kind of balance you both want in your social life, together and separate? I really admire you for getting through it all without a) smoking, b) storming off, or c) smacking someone

Dextie, fair play to you - one sober Thanksgiving under the belt:goodjob:
Hi Enja, choochie, daisy, icandothis and dewdrop - have a great day, all :l

ps Dewdrop - just to clarify, the book isn't about AL, it's about people who volunteer but it was just so inspiring and moving.

[mollyka]

Sober October Challenge!

I agree with Neart, I think the change in a relationship when one person gives up booze can be a bit bewildering for both folks - I know HippyC has talked about that in the past. Hubs is very aware that he'd rather be compromising when we go out than have me drinking. whereas before we always went for a 'couple' of drinks in the pub before dinner out, now we just wouldn't dream of it - the first couple of times it felt odd, and I knew he'd love a couple of pints but now if he wants a drink he just has wine with dinner. We go to the pictures a lot more - now I stay awake all the way to the end!! I know we still need to socialise more - it will happen.......just not yet!!
Off to shower and work
Molly

[dextie]

Sober October Challenge!

AF day 8!
Beautiful sunny holiday Monday, glad to be hangover free.
I agree it can be very trying when spouse drinks because of different frames of minds.
Hope everyone has great day.
Talk to ya's this evening! :wd:

[Spinning J]

Sober October Challenge!

Hiya everyone . Having a very busy day so a quick post and will read everyones later. Happy Hangover free Monday !!! Great isn't it? Yeh Neart it's been very warm here too. Good drying weather lol. 50 days AF whoop ! xx

[Choochie]

Sober October Challenge!

Hi everyone - just chiming in to say that I too feel amazing and refreshed - AF! Cannot believe the difference and am elated to feel so good. Have a great day and week.

[anon]

Sober October Challenge!

Good afternoon Gang and welcome to Daisy
Yes I echo the relationship changing when one partner gives up the booze. It is hard for both persons to adjust to the totally new dynamic.
Been a lovely day here today but been a bit grumpy again I think that is my trigger so will have to be vigilant.
Off to the Lake District in the morning for a hike in the hills--So much more fun without the hangover.
I am being invited to lots of parties as I can be the designated driver now. How good is that?:thanks:

[Choochie]

Sober October Challenge!

Anon - so true about the changing dynamic -- suddenly the other partner has lost his "drinking buddy." Oh well - the one thing you can be sure of in life is that nothing stays the same, right? Nothing worth going back to that awful day after and constant struggle that goes along with it!