Ashamed to be back after months away

[cuckoosnest83]

Ashamed to be back after months away

Hi Hazeleyes. Welcome back. I'm just starting out too. I wish you all the best and if I can offer any support I'm here.

[paula]

Ashamed to be back after months away

Hi Hazeleyes, welcome back. I have done exactly the same as you, so many times. Good luck.

[mere]

Ashamed to be back after months away

Hi Hazeleyes,
I'm a Newbie so I didn't know you from the past. I don't think you disappointed any of us but only yourself. That's the biggest hurtle is to forgive yourself and get right back up. Others have told me the same thing when I slipped. And everyone has said to just "get right back up." I have faith it will eventually work but for me it's going to take a lot of work to meet my goal and to post when I'm feeling weak and have "those thoughts."
I agree with Dewdrop - join us in the October challenge!

[paguy]

Ashamed to be back after months away

Hi Hazeleyes - Welcome back. I just started back up in July and I don't recall you from before. It's good that your back - I look forward to getting to know you. Best wishes and goo luck!

[hazeleyes]

Ashamed to be back after months away

Thanks Doggygirl, Rebirth, cucko, mere, paula, and paguy.
Great to have your support and welcoming words. I really appreciate it.
H

[Hippy Chick]

Ashamed to be back after months away

No need to feel ashamed Hazel. Give yourself a pat on the back for coming back here where you know you will get support and asking for help.
It certainly isnt an easy journey but with each others support in this site, we can do it together.

Hips

[icandothis]

Ashamed to be back after months away

Hello Hazel. I too have rejoined this site after being sober for some time and then deciding I could moderate. The unfortunate part with moderating is it's not that hard (for me) for a short time, but then it creeps up on me, and pretty soon I realize I'm rushing home to get that glass of wine each night and then it becomes two, three, four...
Anyway, I have finally decided I just prefer not to have alcohol in my life. It shouldn't be that hard, but it is! Maybe we can get and stay sober together. Welcome back to both of us!!

[Peacefull]

Ashamed to be back after months away

Welcome back,

I too tried to moderate after a lengthy sober time and failed. I found this site and all the wonderful supportive ppl here are helping me to get back to that peaceful sober place again.

[mario]

Ashamed to be back after months away

Hi hazel eyes welcome back, i dont know how many times i fooled myself into thinking i had this beast under control,keep posting and surrounding yourself with like minded people helps a lot. :-)

[hazeleyes]

Ashamed to be back after months away

Thank you Hippy chick, Icandothis, Peace seeking, and Mario
Great to have your welcome and support - as you say this is a great place to return and we can all get better at living AF if we do it together.
Kind regards
H

[sapphire1]

Ashamed to be back after months away

Hi Hazel,

I too thought I could moderate many many times after al free time. I thought I was different (as others have said) and that I had slain the beast but all that got me was right back to out of control drinking very quickly. I had a business too and ended up with it being in ruins because I couldnt keep up with the creative energy and focus that it needed while suffering massive hangovers. I eventually started drinking at work and having to be taken home by my employees (oh the shame of it all). Anyway, I am firmly committed to complete abstinance now and thats a huge step in the right direction for me...I dont have any lingering thoughts about being able to drink "socially" one day...there is nothing social about alcoholic drinking. I dont look at it as having to give up anything, on the contrary, I see it as giving myself the gift of sobriety and a more fulfilling life. We can do this, we can slay the dragon...Saff x

[Pride before Fall]

Ashamed to be back after months away

Amen, Sapph. Alcoholic drinking is anti-social. Even when you feel like the life of the party, you're typically making an ass of yourself and alienate good people. That vague uneasiness when you start to wake up, then the hazy awfulness of a shameful memory. (Or worse, casually asking around to figure out what you did.) Going into repair and minimize laugh-it-off mode. Ugh. Never again.

Pride

[sobergirl]

Ashamed to be back after months away

Well said, Pride and how true!! It really is anti-social. I almost am looking forward to my first outing to be able to sit quitely, observe and be a good listener. Instead of becoming the person that is "so funny", aka, making a fool out of herself!! Ugh! Don't want to do that EVER again!

[icandothis]

Ashamed to be back after months away

I couldn't agree more Sapph and Pride! I feel so good when I don't drink that I have to wonder why would I want to drink and feel so awful again? Really, the addicition is amazing when you think about it! There is really NO enjoyment involved with drinking but the addiction fools us that there is! I can't wait until all thoughts of alcohol are a dim memory and a "why did I do that?".

This is a great site! I"m so happy to be back and posting. Have a great evening!