struggle today

[okkslady]

I have some posts on here but wanted to start this one because I am struggling today. I really want to drink...and I know that everybody say that u dont have to drink to socialize but that is what I am having a hard time overcoming. I do feel isolated because I feel I am alone in this...I dont have many friends who do not drink...uuuggghh My mind is saying go ahead and I will be fine. That if I go and have a couple I will be fine....

[Doggygirl]

struggle today

Hi okkslady. Booze is not the answer!! I think most (all?) of us go through these concerns about ever having fun again, ever feeling like we "fit in" with friends, etc. So first off, please know that these feelings are very normal! I for sure went through them!!

Early in my first AF run, I made a LONG list of things to do instead of drink. Some of the things on my list were "chore" type things. (clean closets, etc.) But I tried to include lots of other stuff like going to the library, museums, join the gym (I go to Curves and love it), do volunteer work, etc.

If I had kept my life exactly as it was and just removed the alcohol, I would have gone mad. I used to spend TONS of time sitting around drinking. Alone. With friends. With strangers. To this day, I really don't enjoy sitting around shooting the breeze while other people drink and I don't. I have totally different interests now and loads of new friends.

I have also made lots of new sober friends at AA.

One thing is for sure - drinking right now is not going to help you learn to socialize and enjoy friendships without AL. If you are one of us who cannot stop once you start, then drinking is only going to cause problems - not solve them.

I hope you will consider starting a list of things you would like to get out there and do. I spent so many years going no place but to a bar or a liquor store that I really had to spend some time thinking about that one, and looking up stuff to do in my area.

Strength and hope to you,

DG

[okkslady]

struggle today

constant

today it has been a constant on my mind...it is a fight and I dont want to lose today was a good day then temptation set in. I didnt drink today and am going to bed. thanks

[angel77]

struggle today

Hey okkslady Firstly, well done for not drinking today. That is so good. Even when temptation reared it's ugly head, you still didn't give in. That is really strong. I know what you mean also about feeling alone when everyone else is drinking socially. I also feel a bit alone when I am out and am the only one not drinking. When I start thinking oh I will be fine, I will just have a few? I find it helps to force myself to rethink about the last time I intended to only have a couple and the mess I ended up inflicting on myself. I hope you are ok today and next time you are out just think Angel is there in spirit not drinking also. Haha sorry if that sounds lame, but it might help.

Angel oxox

[okkslady]

struggle today

better today

It does help Angel and thanks....today is a better day...I have been working out and came back from that and feel good. I dont want to mess up but thinking about drinking is always there. I do think bout the past and all the problems it has caused me....I wish I could be the type to go out and have one or two and call it quits..but I am not...I get scared thinking that I am going to fall back into it again......

[Peacefull]

struggle today

:goodjob:

Coming here when the urge is strong is the right thing to do. It's hard, but do we really want one or two, to me what's the point ? the buzz is just starting. Once the one or two is done the guard is down and I spiral to the bottom of the bottle. In my opinion, it is harder thinking about only having a couple than not having any at all.

Think about why you are here and why you want to quit. The cravings will always be there as they are for food etc....it's not giving them more than a seconds thought that chases them away...it's stinking thinking the more time we give it.

take care,

[K9Lover]

struggle today

First of all, you did great by not giving in. You came here and "talked" to us first, that took amazing strength. I know how hard the cravings hit sometimes, and how it can sometimes consume our thoughts. I gave in after 160 days, and believe me, it was NOT worth it. I didn't even enjoy it, ANY of it. Are you able to pinpoint any specific triggers right now?

[rebirth]

struggle today

okkslady try and fight this craving. K9's message is such a good one as she speaks from experience. Infact everyone who went back to drinking regretted it so this is what I try and remember when ever I feel like getting that bottle to drown my sorrows. x

[sapphire1]

struggle today

Okkslady, the others have given some great wisdom and I second it. Peace put it well when she said "do we really wish that we could have one or two"? That has given me something to think about when I start the wishful thinking about "One or two", because one or two doesnt do a thing for me and the rest of us, it just gets us to the point of wanting a heck of a lot more and letting our guard down and saying "What the heck, I dont care" and down the slippery slope we go head first. Early in my sobriety I dreaded the thoughts and cravings to drink, but just lately I am trying a different tactic. When the thoughts appear, or I see an ad on television,or people drinking, walk past the bottle shop, I welcome the thoughts and mindfully use it as time to reinforce my new thinking about my new life. I say to myself....great..here are the thoughts....time to re-program my sub-conscious mind about my new non-drinking life and mentally picture me running through a field of flowers, as free as the wind and joyful. This image may play in my head hundreds of times a day depending on the triggers and instead of dreading the thoughts and cravings, I say bring them on....It is a different approach to the one I have had in the past about trying to avoid or distract my mind from the thoughts. It seems the more energy I put into distraction or avoidance, the more powerful the thoughts became. But mindfully using the thoughts as re-programming time has taken away the intensity and the fear from the thoughts. I hope this helps, everyone has their own way of dealing with this. Stay strong, Saff

[okkslady]

struggle today

havent drank

even though the urge was strong I didnt drink and THANKS soooo much for all the advice. I really think it is me adjusting to this life style and the lonliness of not being around my former friends...but I cannot be around them they are my trigger I would say....? Even going out in the past drinking and carrying on with these friends filled lonliness and drinking made everything seem "fun" but it wasnt really fun...the next day I always felt worse and even more lonely...so the cycle would repeat. I ran across a friend on facebook and her headline said "sobriety is a good life and good way to be" I sent her a message and told her I was trying to quit drinking and come to find out her and I were in the same boat. I never would have guessed it. So now I have found somebody else I can talk to who will understand....I went to a health fair today and participated in another fun run and I came across this booth and they ask do you smoke, no...do you drink alcohol...and I said I have stopped and it has been over a month...the lady said "THATS GREAT!!!" and she was do enthusiastic about it that it gave me a little more motivation to stay on this path.....well thanks for listening everybody

[OverIt2007]

struggle today

Wow! Looks like these little things that have happened are definately messages that you are on the right path!! I hope your doing great today Okkslady. Ill always be interested in how you are doing, and you never have to thank me for listening.

Its funny, I like to exercise like you do. I ran into this lady while exercising and she said to me "You amaze me how dedicated you are to your exercise". Funny thing is, she has no idea I am also an alcoholic and many days after exercise I drink! But that somebody called me dedicated really made me feel good. Its funny how just little words from strangers can make a difference and make your day sometimes.

I think your doing great. Hope to see some posts from you soon.