Need some input

[This_is_me]

I have been reading here for months and find all of your advice really helpful. I have an issue I need some help with. I have been AF since June. I am an extreme Type A personality. Recently some new (old stresses) have reared their ugly head and caused me some depression and extreme anxiety. Xanax was not even touching the anxiety. Couldn't stop bouncing for days. Went to the psych doc and he gave me Klonopin and started on Zoloft. Screwed up with the Klonopin a couple of weeks ago. Took it during the day then took Xanax to sleep. Bad idea. Felt "off" the whole next day. OK lesson learned. Tues I thought time to take a Klonopin and went to put in laundry. Apparently forgot I already took on so took another. OMG Worse than being drunk. Husband had a fit. Don't really blame him but it was an accident. I felt like shit. Got up the next morning, getting ready for work and he has taken all of my meds. That was enough to start a panic attack right then. Spent the whole day at work shaking, heart rate racing, etc. He has now decided that he is in charge of when I need medication and doles them out like I am a child. I can't take this. If I can't trust him to give them back I am sure I will end up at the liquor store because the panic attacks are really debilitating. Any input appreciated as to how you would handle this. Thanks. :thanks:

[betty boop]

Need some input

Hiya Thisisme ...........

I'm really sorry but I don't have any experience of what you are asking but I wanted to :welcome: you to MWO .........

It's a fabulous place to be, read as much as you can and keep us posted with your progress .........

BB xxx

[Chillgirl]

Need some input

Thisisme - like Bets I don't have any experience with meds but my initial reaction to what you've said is that it all sound a bit dangerous if they can affect you so much and I can understand your Husband being concerned about you taking too many.

There has been a lot of success with panic attacks through the use of NLP which is a completely drug free therapy and might be worth considering.

Stay close to the boards for on going support, a lot of the time just getting it off your chest is hugely therapeutic.

[This_is_me]

Need some input

Normally I would say that is ok. If you have no experience with panic attacks I can't even describe what the whole day was like. I was exhausted by the time I got home. I won't do this with him. He either trusts me or not. I even suggested on of those dosage boxes so I could keep track. We will see how it goes this weekend but I will call my doc if husband keeps this up. Thanks for your input.

[mollyka]

Need some input

Hi This is Me
My husband hid my car keys once for a week, I went apeshit. He was dead right - I know it's not the same thing but just being devil's advocate, I'm guessing your husband is worried about you rather than trying to control you? I have had panic attacks and they are very very scary, I sympathise with you. It's hard being a recovering alkie (speaking for myself ) but I suppose it's hard for our relations to trust us either? Sorry, I sound like I'm being critical of you and I really really amn't, I'm just expressing what a lousy time MY husband has had I suppose.
Well done on being sober since June, it's tough when we put in all that effort and then we are put in doubt.
Molly:welcome:

[This_is_me]

Need some input

I DO understand that he is concerned and appreciate that however an all day panic attack is no fun. I don't think he really understands the implications of leaving me with no medication all day. Wednesday I thought I was going to die. Not fun. I won't go through that again.

[Topsy-Turvy-Tracy]

Need some input

Sounds like your anxiety as gotten much worse since you started talking that chemical cocktail. Your benzodiazepine receptors are like massively messed up, and it's really going to suck getting them back to some semblance of normal. Xanax is terribly addictive and runs a very high risk abuse, and any shrink who would prescribe it to someone struggling with a drinking problem should have his own head examined.

Consider that your addiction is playing itself out with pills now - and it's not working for you (how could it?). I really doubt that your shrink is going to give you new scripts ahead of schedule, but I encourage you to talk to him about what has happened. If he doesn't start titrating you off the Xanax, fire him. He's a lousy doc and not much of friend either. I'd stick with your husband though. It sounds like he actually cares about your well-being.

You might want to read up on the baclofen threads about it's ability to manage anxiety without the risk of dependence, or read "The End of My Addiction (it also goes by the title "Heal Thyself") about how that drug is showing great promise in quashing cravings of all sorts.

Maybe I'm being prejudiced, but they meds you are on don't sound like a healthy combo - for someone in recovery, they are a train wreck waiting to happen.

Good luck. Please stick around and read, read, read. You are not alone. There are really good people here who have a wealth of experience, caring personalities and leave-you-on-floor laughing senses of humor. It sounds like you could use a few laughs.

[gyco]

Need some input

interesting

This_is_me;977117 wrote: I have been reading here for months and find all of your advice really helpful. I have an issue I need some help with. I have been AF since June. I am an extreme Type A personality. Recently some new (old stresses) have reared their ugly head and caused me some depression and extreme anxiety. Xanax was not even touching the anxiety. Couldn't stop bouncing for days. Went to the psych doc and he gave me Klonopin and started on Zoloft. Screwed up with the Klonopin a couple of weeks ago. Took it during the day then took Xanax to sleep. Bad idea. Felt "off" the whole next day. OK lesson learned. Tues I thought time to take a Klonopin and went to put in laundry. Apparently forgot I already took on so took another. OMG Worse than being drunk. Husband had a fit. Don't really blame him but it was an accident. I felt like shit. Got up the next morning, getting ready for work and he has taken all of my meds. That was enough to start a panic attack right then. Spent the whole day at work shaking, heart rate racing, etc. He has now decided that he is in charge of when I need medication and doles them out like I am a child. I can't take this. If I can't trust him to give them back I am sure I will end up at the liquor store because the panic attacks are really debilitating. Any input appreciated as to how you would handle this. Thanks. :thanks:

depression,hi ME.clanazapam will do that to you,ive been where you are ,i can even laugh about it now,took ten years,to get better,your on the meds for a reason,panic attacks are one of the most misunderstood mental illnesses,hate to say it,if your drinking wth it,dynamite isnt as xplosive,between you and me,and the rest of mwo,dont fight with him,go to a walk in clinic,or hospital and xplain your situation,i hope this helps gyco by the way he s worried he hasnt a clue ?

[Topsy-Turvy-Tracy]

Need some input

Gyco, he started dispensing the pills - according to the prescribed dose - on Tuesday. Tuesday sucked, Wednesday sucked. It's Friday in Utah.

I agree, walk in to a clinic, go to the hospital. I think it would be a great reality check.

[This_is_me]

Need some input

Thanks so much for the replies everyone. Really screwed up on Saturday night and drank to oblivion. There goes 4 months. So disappointed. I think a big part was I was worried husband wouldn't give me my pills and I would spend all weekend in panic attack mode. We are going to go see my psychiatrist as soon as we can get an appointment this wee.

[Isolde]

Need some input

Hi Thisisme. I can completely understand why you freaked out so much about your husband taking your pills. You never mentioned if he was giving you the regular dosage as prescribed though. Considering you were having a panic attack on Wednesday, it doesn't sound like it though. I can't even imagine how much additional anxiety it caused you, having a panic attack and having no means to get it under control. I've seen both my dad and brother struggle with debilitating panic attacks, and the right meds are the only thing that helped them be able to live a normal life again (klonopin for my brother, takes a small dose every day, and xanax for my dad, who just takes it when he needs it). While I understand why your husband did what he did, and that it was done out of love and worry, I also wonder if he at all understands the nature of panic attacks/anxiety, etc. It almost sounds like he just let you white knuckle your way through it. It's hard to get the full story from just a few posts!

I'm glad you're going to go see your psych. It does seem like xanax and klonopin together are too much, and I wonder if you just had the xanax leftover from a previous script? Or were you supposed to be taking that AND the klonopin, as prescribed by your doctor? I think which one helps you depends on your brain chemistry. I'm like my brother, klonopin greatly helps with my anxiety, but I don't really get anything from xanax. I have a feeling that you prob. shouldn't be taking both.

And regardless of you drinking on Saturday night, no one can take away the 4 months that you were AF. You didn't blow it. You just have to pick yourself back up and work on getting yourself mentally healthy and go back to working on being AF again. :l

Good luck, and keep us posted!

[Sunbeam]

Need some input

This-is-me, they sell pill boxes with separate compartments for each day, or even divided for 4x/day. Older people use these all the time, I got one at Target for our sick dog. This is a great way to know you have taken a medication.

[This_is_me]

Need some input

Thanks everyone. We are going to see the doc this afternoon. I am hoping he will explain to husband what anxiety/panic attacks are like from a medical point of view. Yes the Xanax was left over. Thought it would help me sleep. And I did buy one of those pill dosage boxes so that will help me keep track better as I am not used to taking medication everyday. I will let you know how it goes.
Thanks, Me