I am in trouble what a mess

[The time is now]

God knows where to start

My relationship has just about ended and alot of it has come down to my stress levels and i guess drinking to much

Last night i hoped to explain to my wife i was going to take a break from the sauce and consentrate on getting my self mentally and physically in shape which of course would have to imporve my relationship with my wife and family - but i didnt it went pearshapped i had some beer wine and hey ended up in a blazing row and many hurtfull things said and finished ( i think memory loss) with me saying i was leaving - i must add we have 18 month old children

Do i want to leave probably not - well certainly not whilst i am not thinking right

Its such a stressfull period and i have never felt so unhappy in all my life- i want my life back

My question is it all down to drinking to much? should i get some specialist help? would a period of the `sauce ` help?

Any feedback would be great

[DeeBee]

I am in trouble what a mess

A period "off the sauce" would certainly help -- if not the relationship then definitely for YOU personally. I highly suggest the 30 (or longer) AF days recommended in the book.

I'm sorry that you are having relationship problems. I had a similar issue with my husband and it was my "rock bottom", my "wake up call" -- what ever you want to call it.
I am so grateful to my husband for having the balls to tell me like it was.

[The time is now]

I am in trouble what a mess

Did your relationship survive? and do you drink now?

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

I am in trouble what a mess

Hello Time now, I would agree with Dee Bee, if you can lay off the sauce right now it can not only help your relationship but it will help you see everything more clearly. As to whether specialist assistance is needed I would ask have you tried to get off of the booze before for any length of time and if so how did it go?

[The time is now]

I am in trouble what a mess

Hi

I have done a few 50 days off and a few weeks of and done it ok i must say this time is harder to take a break - my body feels shocking i am late 30`s and feel like a old man pains in my knees back sharp stabbing pains and on and on

[DeeBee]

I am in trouble what a mess

Yes my relationship did survive... with a LOT of bumps but I'm proud to say it's now even better than ever. I won't pretend it was an easy ride... in fact dear KTAB here gave me some wonderful sound advise in my most darkest moments, but if you can come out the other side intact, it's just so worthwhile.
Yes, I do still drink. My aim was always to drink moderately.

[The time is now]

I am in trouble what a mess

Thanks deebee what period of time did you have off the booze before you started drinking again

[DeeBee]

I am in trouble what a mess

I too am in my late 30's... this is the time to make the changes, it's not too late!!

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

I am in trouble what a mess

I am in my 40s and years of drinking takes its toll, I dread to think what my insides must have been like when I drank everyday without fail for the past 20 years. I have read people say that when we give it up and pick back up it very quickly gets back to the stage we were at and then gets worse. Its true, it is progressive, so really the bottom line is do we want to slowly poison our bodies and our minds or do we want and deserve a life, to see our children grow up and have families of their own. Pretty straight forward choice when I put it like that.

[The time is now]

I am in trouble what a mess

i am just writing a letter to my wife explaining i will take time out from the booze to help mend myself and imporve our relationship - but she may just tell me to get f#@ked

[DeeBee]

I am in trouble what a mess

I did 60 days AF.
BUT, I do urge you to be very cautions about drinking again after that.
If you haven't downloaded the MWO book yet, I highly recommend it, it has so much info about different options and routes you can take in your journey.

[DeeBee]

I am in trouble what a mess

The time is now;979490 wrote: i am just writing a letter to my wife explaining i will take time out from the booze to help mend myself and imporve our relationship - but she may just tell me to get f#@ked

Well done Time!!

You need to make the change within yourself before you can make changes in your relationship.
:goodjob:

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

I am in trouble what a mess

The time is now;979490 wrote: i am just writing a letter to my wife explaining i will take time out from the booze to help mend myself and imporve our relationship - but she may just tell me to get f#@ked

She may well do but actions speak louder than words. If you tell her that then prove it, it might take time but she will see you are serious and trying your hardest. Tell her you are coming here and talking to people who truly understand and want to help. Ask yourself what is booze really doing for you, what benefits does it bring to your life?

[The time is now]

I am in trouble what a mess

Actions do speak louder !

Should i get out side help?

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

I am in trouble what a mess

Only you can answer that but why not download the book and read it. I see you have been here a while, have you tried before putting a plan of action in place and if so spotted where was it not working? It is a case of trial and error, reading posting and learning from others and from ourselves. Bottom line is that unless you are 100% committed to stopping what ever you do wont be enough. When you are and want it badly enough then I would say use everything and anything at your disposal, be that MWO, AA, counseling etc.