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    #31
    I am in trouble what a mess

    Hi.. I have been reading your thread with interest. I am completely new here - joined today. Just wanted to give you a couple of words of encouragement.
    I have had a drink problem for years and years and years .. I am now 31 and my twenties were baasically all spent drunk. I have messed up a lot over the years and realise that most (not all) of thi swas through alcohol.
    In terms of your life, what do you feel drinking does for you? Does it make you feel guilty?
    I suffered physically from drinking - anxiety, panic attacks, the list goes on.
    I was eventually hospitalised and have had a pretty good experience. It is TOUGH though - yu just have to have a strong belief in yurself that you can do it and understand what you want out of life.
    I know this post won't really have been helpful - but just wanted to say good luck!

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      #32
      I am in trouble what a mess

      So you dont drink now?

      What does drinking do to me ? or make me feel ? VERY good question -

      I will answer this in my two personalitys

      Sensible father/business owner - i love to go out for nice dinners, lunches, at home -having a nice dinner and trying new wine and enjoying the taste etc its a real pleasure on eof lifes great pleasures

      as a Un responsible father/business owner what alcahol does to me is deprive me of life, i sometimes drink down in my man cave knocking back beers, having a cheeky couple on the way home, drinking whilst cooking so i have trouble rememebing conversations, it feels like it cripples me and makes me feel guilty

      SO i guess the sensible father is what i strive for but struggle with -

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        #33
        I am in trouble what a mess

        The time is now;979490 wrote: i am just writing a letter to my wife explaining i will take time out from the booze to help mend myself and imporve our relationship - but she may just tell me to get f#@ked
        Believe me when I say, I am SO not someone to judge!! (I really screwed up this past w/e - don't even want to write about it!!)

        I haven't even signed on here for quite some time, kind of just accepting that I'm "not ready" to do anything about this GORILLA on my back!

        But, I couldn't help but notice your letter to wife - saying you will take a "time out". Don't you think that sounds like... you will quit for a while? Not... Forever.

        I don't know if you really saw that, and I'm just pointing out what she may see...
        Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

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          #34
          I am in trouble what a mess

          If you truly want to recover from your dependence on alcohol don't do anything which increases your dependence on alcohol. this will take a lot longer than 2 days. You risk a lot by toying with your disease. It can escalate pretty quickly.
          Your ambivalence is part and parcel of dependence.
          most common cause of relapse is the first drink (true of people and rats)
          my advice: dont
          Sunny

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            #35
            I am in trouble what a mess

            Time, dont give up and dont look too far ahead. Maybe decide not to drink this week and see how that goes. Hopefully it will be grand but if not then the best way to tackle this early days is one step at a time. I wont take a drink at lunchtime....ok got through that...I wont take a drink at 6...leave it till 7....ok log in and talk to someone here..etc...

            Welcome Snowball, well done on taking the first important step by recognising there may be a problem and coming here.
            Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

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              #36
              I am in trouble what a mess

              Well stayed at home last night AND HAD NO BOOZE first no booze friday in many many months i had a hot bath and looked after our children whilst wife out - and today i fell awesome !

              So i am goingto set myself a BIG goal of no booze for 8 weeks ! wish me luck after 4 out of 6 days no booze thsi week i am starting to feel a bit better so i can only imagine how good you feel after a 8 week break

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                #37
                I am in trouble what a mess

                Good plan
                Sunny

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                  #38
                  I am in trouble what a mess

                  Excellent decision.

                  Quick question, how many dangers does the 'caveman' drinking expose yourself, your children and others to?and is that risk worth trying to have/enjoy the odd glass of fine wine?

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                    #39
                    I am in trouble what a mess

                    Hi

                    Well a update 12 no booooze and i am starting feel fine and dandy the headaches are lifting and i have lost almost 6.2lbs

                    But my question and feelings are mixed ! i stopped drinking to get my body and mind in better shape and to reduce my stress levels and to also improve my relationship with my partner but the reality is it is not happening ! we still disagree , argue , and mostly cant be bothered to speak - i avoid conversation to avoid conflict. maybe i can just think and see clearly now

                    So is this a normall process or maybe our relationship is doomed

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                      #40
                      I am in trouble what a mess

                      Time - I'm hoping some of our veterans will chime in here. I do know that when one gets sober often times it means a split with present company. IMHO there is nothing better than being free of the chains of alcohol. That would be my priority above all else, but we all have to find our own way. Have you and your partner tried any counseling? Best of luck! Congrats on (is it 12 days?). Hope you can keep going! It is sooooo worth it.

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                        #41
                        I am in trouble what a mess

                        Hi Time. I second the motion that quitting AL does not magically fix everything in our lives. What it does is free us from the ball and chain of AL so we can work on things in our lives with a clear head.

                        The absence of drinking may not solve every problem. But the presence of drinking can certainly create a lot of problems.

                        Just some additional food for thought.

                        Mean time, congratulations on 12 days AF!! That is fabulous!

                        DG
                        Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                        Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                        One day at a time.

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                          #42
                          I am in trouble what a mess

                          that is so sad!!!

                          I read your post and thought it was very sad. I think your unhappiness is screaming out at me from your writings. I feel for you, your wife and your kids.

                          This darned thing has ruined my life and I too felt specialist help needed!!!! I have not taken that plunge or rather have and failed as I seem to be passed from pillar to post and still drink to get over being passed from pillar to post!! Any excuse!!!! I want to just collapse in rehab for 6 months and come out a 'new person', sadly that is not an option for me for finance and responsibility reasons, so my advice is take it easy.

                          Be easy on you. You have a problem and this problem kills. You are human and we have many frailties and issues. Do not be so hard on yourself. Try to feel the love that is somewhere locked away inside you. Above all try to love yourself. We do not really love being drunk, we just think we do. It has a lot to do with thought. Says me who has not had one day sober or rather just one day in god knows how long!

                          Love and prayers with you....

                          You should ask yourself this what options do you have? Have you a supportive doctor? Can you access help? Are you ready?:l

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