Here I am once again

[Hypernova]

crawling back to the place that helped me to quit before. I am suffering from the heavy drinking that I thought I had a handle on. The effects of the bouts of too much booze are crippling. It just saps all my energy gets me into bad eating habits then comes the weight and exercise goes out the window. My mental and physical condition are ticking me off right now. I am just truly freakin' disgusted with my behavior over the last 3 mos or so. This drinking thing is like a boomerang. I chuck it but it always comes back and hits me in the head. I feel stupid, angry & frustrated. Well I am responsible for myself and am worth the effort and I also like to be a helpful person to others which I am basically useless to anyone while I am drinking. So sorry for the rant but I am in need of expressing myself to people who understand and are going through the same. Thanks for listening. I will be hanging around here until I can get through AF day 1 and then will go from there. I did it before but my motivation is sooo low.

[Kimberley]

Here I am once again

Hi Hyper,

:welcome: back.

I hope you continue to read and post and can get back to where you were when you were working on it - and get that boomerange off your back.

You might want to think about what helped before and what didn't as a starting place. Good luck!
K x

[JackieClaire]

Here I am once again

:welcome: back Hypernova,
I can totally relate to the 3 months binge. It is exactly where I was prior to stopping completely in July 2009. I had had a good few months AF, then tried to moderate. What a mistake that was.
Believe me I know I was in a very dark place that July. I was neither use to man nor beast.

Time for a plan, nothing huge. Minute by minute, hour by hour if that's what it takes. It can be done.

J x
:l

[hillsidetime]

Here I am once again

Hi Hyper, welcome back. I hope you get through day 1. I also hope you can find the motivation to get back in the saddle, and think about your moderation plan, or plan to abstain. Perhaps, the often used 30 days af, as a goal to let you clear your head is an idea to think about. Adding a few days together can give you some motivation. Hit the gym, and get some healthy food in you, and you might feel better. All the best,
Hill

[Theme2be]

Here I am once again

Dear beloved,

If the enemy is in your system, it pulls your beautiful precious pure being into a dark corner and tells you that you are stupid.

Create a better idea and stand tall, what is lesser is that your true value makes you not want to crawl back to where trust is represented?
An illusion truely.

Heavy drinking brings misery and suffering. As long as the enemy runs our delicate systems our delicate systems are in misery. Boomerang again and again.

Lean into a place of peace to block this obsticle. Let your motivations build a thread at a time for a tapestry of your life as it was meant to unfold is in the making.

Trust embraces you, your true identity crushes this miserable obsticle.
The disorder we suffer, is silenced once and evermore if you read on about the magic path you take to discourage this discouragement, to disown this rejecter of identity so pure that this enemy understand its own stupidity, but, it will move on to the next victim.

Take notice and blanket yourself with comfort~

You are going to be alright, with the best of choices once armored.

[beagle]

Here I am once again

Theme2be : that was truly a lovely post. Thank you.
Hypernova : come back come back from wherever you are. Join us. Please.

[hillsidetime]

Here I am once again

Theme2be, your post was very honest and poetic and truthful. Hungover as I used to be on Saturday mornings, I would not have been able to really follow and connect with your words and ideas. Another benefit to being sober.
Hill

[Hypernova]

Here I am once again

Thanks all for your encouragement! They are words greatly appreciated and have motivated and helped me to relax and go with the energy to get me through the rest of this 1st AF one. May I be contented with myself and others & find the motivation to build upon today. Truly pleased to be among such a positive collection of people.
:thanks:

[Reenie]

Here I am once again

Hypernova, I'm right with you. Back to day 1. Although I didn't wake up sick and hungover today, I was an emotional mess. I keep thinking "I'm better than this, why am I letting A get the best of me"? I'm in a very dark place right now. I posted on this site for advice several times today. I have been praying like mad. I am in AA, but since I lost my license a month ago, I have no way of getting there. I could have called for a ride today, but I was too much of an emotional mess. I'm praying for strength. I'm going to take one day at a time. By the end of the week, a new plan will be in place. I'm getting re-assessed by a therapist, and am certain I'll be going into rehab for 30 days. Nothing feels as good as being sober. I can't wait for my body to be rid of A and for my brain and cells to recover. Life is so much easier when not burdend with guilt and shame. Keep up the good work. A is not worth it!

[Hypernova]

Here I am once again

Sorry to hear of all the problems AL has and is causing for you. Listen to yourself and your body's wisdom and you will find your way. Speaking for my self I wish I could follow my own advice. Alcohol blocks my mind and soul from receiving the correct information which I believe lies in us all. I want to tap this resource and learn to be at peace and live in the world with gratitude and offer to others what I may. I hope you are fortunate with your efforts and that you do find yourself one day where you'd like to be. Best to you ~ Hyper

[Theme2be]

Here I am once again

Dear beautiful superb star that you are~

I may change my signature quote to:"Listen to yourself and your body's wisdom and you will find your way."
Hypernova