is there hope in middle age after a lifetime of alcoholism?

[Softy]

is there hope in middle age after a lifetime of alcoholism?

I posted a thread about my mid life crisis back in November. I tried to get straight for a few weeks then just went on a mental bender. Now that I have just turned 44 I am feeling at the lowest point of my life. My obsession with a younger woman is pathetic demeaning and has nearly cost me my marriage of 18 years. It may well end with me single and jobless. All that pain because I need to drink. From past experience of going three months AF I know that life is great when you are straight. I so need to start AF life again and I am starting today. I went AF Wed and Thurs then fell on day three. I guess by starting on a Saturday if I can do Sunday as well then I will be on a roll. At 44 I now think the time has come to grow up, be a man, and learn to place value on what I have got rather than drink to hide the pain of wanting a different life. The different life I really want is the AF one.

[RedJib]

is there hope in middle age after a lifetime of alcoholism?

re: Facing the truth about AL in middle age. I think there's another reason it took this long to confront the problem. It was only in mid mid-forties that I began to realize how very self-centered and selfish my drinking had kept me, qualities I found less and less appealing in others as I got older. It became impossible to pretend that those unappealing qualities (and all the lame excuses I'd hear from other people, forever complaining about things they had the power to change) didn't also describe me. Self-delusion gets harder as we get older, I think. And once the voice of truth gets into your head, it gets more difficult to tune it out.

Facing my own problem head on is making me a more responsible person, one I can respect again.
It's also making me more compassionate about the struggles that others face, too. That feels great!

Jib

[Softy]

is there hope in middle age after a lifetime of alcoholism?

Self respect

And liking yourself are the ultimate goals - the very best reward for giving up

[anon]

is there hope in middle age after a lifetime of alcoholism?

I know that must sound SO old I am 64 gave up around 6 months ago and am going to a run a maraton so never too late for anytthing.

[mollyka]

is there hope in middle age after a lifetime of alcoholism?

Following you round tonight Anon! I found getting sober in middle years (I'm 54) bizarre to say the least. They say your drinking years stunt your emotional development WOW did I find that to be true. I've had to literally grow up in the last year - learn how to deal with people and situations the way an adolescent has to nearly. It's taken me a while, but I'm getting there. Problems and relationships that I have found unfathomable for eons suddenly actually now seem to have some rhyme or reason to them. It's literally like reclaiming my life albeit somewhat stunted. Haven't run too many marathons yet tho
Molly

[hopefuli]

is there hope in middle age after a lifetime of alcoholism?

Thank you! How are you?

[Jolie]

is there hope in middle age after a lifetime of alcoholism?

hopeful,

I too believe that there is hope! I am 48 and have been here on and off for 2 years. You are only 44 and have a lot of living left to do. Believe me - you will feel like a kid again - no lie - alcohol robs jus of our freedom to live life and enjoy it. Good luck in your journey!

[ATLThrash]

is there hope in middle age after a lifetime of alcoholism?

I used to think this way-- actually I thought to myself-- what if I already haev liver cancer etc -- I will kick myself for wasting my time and health. But middle aged is not the same as it used to be-- my hubby who is 49 says he has enjoyed his life more past 40 than ever. I think because alcoholism is progressive that for us who had successful 20s and 30s-- we wonder what happened to land us here. What happened was the progression of the disease. I firmly believe that once one is off booze they can have a great happy life. Good luck

[Mohun]

is there hope in middle age after a lifetime of alcoholism?

So many incredibly good posts in this thread.

I will be 45 in a month or so and quit AL about 7 months ago (bear in mind I have quit twice before and lasted 3-4 months each time). I feel awesome! I can't even list the number of reasons why I feel better.

I can't worry about the lost time. I've been lucky enough to survive this with my family and job intact. All I can do is go forward and live this new life I have found. I've caught my second wind at 44 and it feels great!

[Doggygirl]

is there hope in middle age after a lifetime of alcoholism?

I am 29(53). That is my story and I'm sticking to it!!! Quitting drinking has seriously taken years off of my attitude, and proably added many years TO my life. Especially considering that at my hopeless worst, all I wanted to do was die. I couldn't see life without drinking, and I couldn't see life WITH drinking either.

AL is out, Living is in.

How are you hopefuli?

DG

[mario]

is there hope in middle age after a lifetime of alcoholism?

hopefuli;993374 wrote: Need a "thread" of hope here. I never thought I would be struggling with this disease in middle age. I had so much going for me as an adolescent and young adult. Ugh.

Hi hopefuli I quit drinking when i was 47, Best thing I have ever done and now i am doing the things that i should have been doing,you can do it hopefuli go for it

[Softy]

is there hope in middle age after a lifetime of alcoholism?

Softy;1050487 wrote: I posted a thread about my mid life crisis back in November. I tried to get straight for a few weeks then just went on a mental bender. Now that I have just turned 44 I am feeling at the lowest point of my life. My obsession with a younger woman is pathetic demeaning and has nearly cost me my marriage of 18 years. It may well end with me single and jobless. All that pain because I need to drink. From past experience of going three months AF I know that life is great when you are straight. I so need to start AF life again and I am starting today. I went AF Wed and Thurs then fell on day three. I guess by starting on a Saturday if I can do Sunday as well then I will be on a roll. At 44 I now think the time has come to grow up, be a man, and learn to place value on what I have got rather than drink to hide the pain of wanting a different life. The different life I really want is the AF one.

And here I am 56 AF days later. Interesting to read it back. Still struggling with some of ,the issues which didn't just disappear when I stopped. But I can see now how much booze made the problems a lot worse and that is why it is taking so long to resolve. If you see my Eight Weeks Later thread you will see I have had a wobble today. Fate or a higher power (no not Mrs Softy) meant this mid life crisis thread reappeared at just the right time to let me see starkly where I was 56 days ago. Coincidence or fate - either way it was lucky and very very welcome.