Sober NOvember Challenge

[JackieClaire]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Hi Team November,
Sending a big Get Well Soon to the house of Wagon(eer).

Peace, best of luck and you know you'll get fine support whichever path you choose.

Dewdrop, I absolutely hate confrontation and go a bit weak and wobbly. Then normally have a good cry in private.

Fantastic that we're all finding alternative ways to deal with urges, cravings,difficult situations or even boredom.

A big yoooooo hooooooo to everyone else

Your favourite lurker

[gettinghappy]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Hi everyone! There have been lots of flu bugs around here too. We haven't gotten any yet in our house, but I hope all of you get well soon Wagoneer Peace, as I always tell my kids, You know what you like and what is right for you so trust your choices. I feel bad for you Dewdrop. If I ever have bad words with someone, I go over it in my head again and again wishing I would have said this or that different. UGH! Don't let it stick with you. This too shall pass! I went to another AA meeting tonight. It was pretty lighthearted. I'm glad I went. It's always easy to back out of it, but it also helps so much it's worth it. Hope everyone is feeling strong and keeping warm, Good night (p.s. Day 19, so far, so good)

[enja]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Hey Team-

Thanks for all the great advice/insights Gettinghappy, Molly, Limers, Oney, Peace, Choochie and Dewdrop. :l It's wonderful to have such support and I'll definitely check out the Stop Drinking book, it sounds like there is some good info in there. Luckily I haven't had any really bad cravings, just a lot of anger and "why me" feelings - Truth be told I miss the buzz and I'm not yet reconciled with never having that again...guess I have a ways to go to change my mindset.

Peace - I think we do have the same AF day, August 29th for you as well? I'm going to be following you closely which ever thread you end up on! Wishing you strength on your journey. I love the idea of being able to moderate but for me I just don't see it as possibility (even though I haven't let go of the idea 100% yet - how's that for a contradiction?!? :bonkers: ) In the past when I've tried I could never stick to the *rules* I made and in a matter of weeks(days) would slip from say, 2 glasses, to making those 2 drinks HUGE (I have wineglasses which can almost hold half a bottle!), sneaking sips from the husband's glass, to eventually hiding bottles to conceal how much I drank. Drinking only at the weekends would go the same way, before very long the weekend would start on Thursday and end on Wednesday..... I've been successful this time because I'm not drinking at all - I'm still the same and I think I'd just slip into my old drinking habits - I know how NOT to drink, I don't know how to moderate. Oops, sorry about the thinking out loud, it helps to see what I'm thinking sometimes! :H

Wagoneer - sorry to hear about the family, hope you all feel better soon. Dewdrop - well done for holding your own against the bully. That's very brave of you and congrats on not finding solace in a bottle.

Good grief, this time next week is Thanksgiving. Where the heck did this year go? :shocked:

[anon]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Good Morning Chaps, Wet and windy day perfect for lying in bed but no chance in this house!

Wagoneer hope things are improving at home and the sickness bug is on its way out at least you do not have the hangover to add to your problems.

Enja, i miss the buzz but do not miss the crap that goes with it and moderation so easily morphs into the whole 9 yards for most of us.

Getting happy good for you going to AA meetings. I am sure they are great for most people with our problem.

Dewdrop well done on not letting that conflict with the bully at work drive you to drink. Sorry you felt upset, Hope you are feeling strong today.

Hiya Peace you sound as though you are in a good place thanks for your honest post and it shows how we all can do things in a different way and get to where we want to be.

Hi Limers hope you are having a great day in the rain! Skinny woman in the making.

Hello One to many Thanks for the urge surfing link I use that every day now and IT WORKS

Thanks for your wisdom JC alias the lurker always love your posts:thanks:

WHERE IS MOLLY!!

Love to all to come just waiting for pearls of wisdom from the lovely Choocie probably to early:thanks:

[Wagoneer]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Hey everyone - Happy Thursday! Day 18 for me. Did not wake up sick so that is a good thing (from hangover OR flue - knock on wood! ) Took today off to take my eldest to see a counsellor (hopefully this 24 hour bug has passed through her!). She suffers from intense PMS and also has some issues from my ex husband. SHe is 16 so I just wanted to make sure everything was ok - could be the age, the hormones, etc. but with our history of depression etc in the family, I was not going to wait till she was at college. She is totally fine with going - I am not forcing her to go, so she sees a problem too. I hope with counselling, exercise and vitamins maybe she can feel better. She is a very wonderful, kind, smart, sweet and creative girl. Seriously amazing and I am lucky to have her.

Anyway, happy to be dealing with this without a hangover - thanks to all your support and friendship. Everyone have an awesome day

Kat

[mollyka]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Morning everyone, really sorry for going AWOL, daughter went home (or 'back' as she puts it, this is home!)to Canada this morning. We both brought her to the airport and of course I was in floods as I do - but so was my big 'tough man' husband - dabbing the eyes discreetly, poor pet, it always seems so sad when men are upset somehow! Anyway, we have consoled eachother - she is very happy over there, boyfriend is a fine kind lad, and there is nothing in Ireland for either of them at the moment so pretty much all is good --- except we miss her terribly already! We are going out for a really nice lunch tho in a while and we'll be fine.
Hope everyone is doing well - just glanced over the last days posts. Peace, like others have said, good on you - if you can make it work - brilliant, just be careful won't you. Like Enja, I couldn't do it but there are folks on here who seem very successful moderating.
Wagon - hope the counselling goes well. It's great that you can have close conversations with a 16 yr old - it bodes well for the future!!
Dewdrop - any argument in my life and I run for cover - I HATE confrontation , well done dealing with it -and sober!!
Hi Anon, Limers, Oney, JC, Chooch, where's Neart?? - too much in luuuurrrrvvve????. Right will be back later
Molly

[Choochie]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Good Morning All you Fab Affers - just checking in to say I'm feeling over-the-top healthy and rested this morning. I still can't believe the sleep I'm getting. I always thought I just had major sleep issues and would never have "dreamed" that my sleep could be like this.

Also, feeling resolute in the idea that I'm giving up nothing by not drinking. You know, I've been saying that for a while, but the feeling is getting more internalized and real for me. I can't wait to see what six months or a year feels like. I think it's the boredom that I'll have to watch out for.

Wagon, good to hear that your daughter is ok. Sounds like a good idea to head problems off at the pass - not let them get out of hand.

Molly, sorry your daughter has gone back to Canada. How does she like living there, by the way?? I want to visit some time. We've been to Washington State which is nearby, and drover to Vancouver for the day, but I haven's seen the beautiful areas like Bamf (sp?), British Columbia, etc. Oh, and you are so right about how hard it is to see a man get teary - kills me - think it's because they do it so seldom?? It does tear me up too.

Limers and Oney - how cool that you guys can actually get together. In the states, we're all so far apart. I don't know of anyone here who has met. I think maybe RC and Ruby - some of the people in Florida.

Anon, hope you're feeling chipper again. I was thinking that maybe you had a letdown after your big run? Sometimes when a big event in our lives is over we feel that. Hope your bones are all healed.

Enja, I don't think you'll regret buying the book - it has helped me tremendously. I don't feel like I'm missing out on a thing. And, even if I could moderate, I wouldn't. That's how good I feel about giving up alcohol. I'm really thankful to feel this way and just hoping that it lasts!

Dew - hope you're recovered from the ass at work. Is this someone you have to deal with on a regular basis? Hope not. If so, maybe you could practice what you'll say to him/her in the next situation. I always think of the perfect thing to say a day later!

Limers - your post just came up while I was editing mine. Big congrats on your son getting the job. What a relief, huh!!

Getting happy - you're sounding good - do tell us more in the future about your AA meetings. I'm always curious and think about going just so I can meet people who don't drink!

Jackie, Dextie, and any others who come along today. Wishing you a beautiful day!

Choochie

[Guest]

Sober NOvember Challenge

My son got the job..woo hoo hoo!
Molly im sorry your sad but you can save your .not drinking. money and go over to see her? Enjoy your lunch.
Coochie, I too am sleeping like a mad thing, its fab.

[mollyka]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Limers - THAT IS FANTASTIC, I am absolutely delighted for you and him. Is he thrilled or being sort of bored and cool (that's what my lads were like when they didn't want to let on they impressed themselves), it'll do him the world of good - a bit of discipline etc. and amazing for you - enjoy it - that's the trick with our ex-alkie lives, we should enjoy the good times!!
Chooch girl, you sound so bright and happy, I concur about the sleep, mine finally is improving by the day - took a while mind you!
We had a lovely lunch up in Drogheda and bought a smashing new bag (sort of a satchel, in river island) for work, when I was driving home I got the lovely sober euphoric feeling despite Jilly going home today, shared that feeling with hubs and we both sort of got a bit weepy again, but in a really nice close way. She's only across the Atlantic!! She's in Toronto Chooch, mainly cos her BF has family there and they have loads of work for him. She is a happy little thing and very grown up and together for one so young!
Talk later everyone
Molly

[choice]

Sober NOvember Challenge

88 Days AF. 2 months and 27 days.

Hi Everyone! I've missed you guys :l

I don't know how to catch up with everyone properly but wanted to post to let everyone know that I'm still in the challenge. :h

I had to do the time calculator to figure out just how long I've been AF. My last drunk was August 23, 2010. Since then I have also stopped smoking, and lost 15 pounds. I needed to write that down to remind myself that I am doing something about a problem. I've discovered that I am very hard on myself and have a lot of resentment towards others. I thought I drank to have fun, but through all of this sober time, it turns out... these other triggers I was not fully aware of. I feel so good knowing this now. It's just part of staying sober.

When I first started the AF journey, I was concerned that my drinking was affecting my behavior and personality. I was becoming someone I didn't want to hang out with. Now I'm learning that I have deep resentment, anger, sadness, issues that need to be tended to. I can't believe how much easier this is to deal with sober... I can't believe what kind of danger I was putting myself in physically, mentally, and emotionally when I drank. Sometimes I miss the buzz, the escape, and to be honest the black outs. Waking up in pain not knowing what happened mirrored how I was feeling and left everything that I couldn't deal with at bay. It was a very hard way to deal with issues I was having with myself and others. One thing I hold on to right now with vigilance is my sobriety. Sometimes I feel like a weirdo being so determined about this with all of the pressure there seams to be in society... but I'm not sure if it's just an addicted brain I'm dealing with that's really at odds with how available, normal?, and easy it is for me to get, consume and how in a lot of ways saying I had a hangover was an acceptable excuse for most people. All still pretty confusing trying to find my way out.... but I am trying my best.

At almost 3 months, I have tossed the idea of moderation around. 3 months? Really? After all of the success that I'm experiencing? Whew!!! Scary how slippery the slope is. My fiance has reached over 30 days AF and spitefully said it was a piece of cake, and was ready to start drinking again. At first I thought well, we have control what's the big deal?? Then my reality checked in and I detached. I'm not afraid of him drinking again because as far as I can see from reading enough in this forum. He won't enjoy it and it will drive it home. I on the other hand have chosen to remain sober for another month, then another. It's not hurting me. My fiance is amazed at how I've lost weight and started jogging.... I kind of think he was just throwing a hissy fit... and is back on track. In a lot of ways I'm very happy I'm sharing this journey with someone who has the same kind of addiction problems as I do. Luckily when I have an urge, he doesn't, and when he has an urge I don't. We talk each other out of it. There was a time when we were kind of drinking buddies. But as my father use to say, "it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt." I've found booze and love are a toxic cocktail for myself so I can't drink, and my tolerance for others abusing AL has gotten really low.

Thanks for the ramble! I'm so proud of everyone in the NOvember challenge!! :h

[neart]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't been online, I didn't have access through my laptop to the internet and didn't want to use a pc.

Choice, I was just about to shout out for you! Molly, I'm really glad that you and your husband have been able to share the experience and feelings of having your daughter go back to Canada, and that her trip was such a success :l
Dewdrop, that always happens to me - my eyes well up with frustration, and it's hard not to cry - I hate it! Limers - congrats on your son's job Wagoneer - are the family feeling better? Anon, go you with the running! :goodjob: Peace, I hope it all goes well for you - we all have our own path x Enja - I'm the same - I know modding would just be a slippery slope for me too. Choocie, so great to hear you're feeling good

All okay here. What's really getting to me are my folks - my mum keeps making "jokes" about not doing certain things or my boyfriend will dump me, e.g. I have to to bring a banana with me every time I'm driving to see him so that I won't be hungry and cranky when I get there (!!!), or that I'm not to be wearing the same clothes all the time or "he'll think you have no other clothes and break up with you" etc etc etc - it was funny at first, but it's actually starting to get to me! She doesn't seem to have any faith in my ability to hold on to him just by being me. And dad said to me today that I'd want to give the boyf "a break or he'll break up with you".

It wouldn't be the first time they have had a lack of faith and belief in me. Maybe this is the time I need to learn to deal with it and learn not to let it affect me? Oh, and I need to move out

Hope everyone's doing well today

[Choochie]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Neart, wouldn't it be great if we could choose our parents like we could choose our friends? I would tune them out!! Go with your gut on the boyfriend!! Thought you would get some levity from this:


LOL!

Choochie

[one2many]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Hey Neart.

I am 38, in a relationship with 3 kids of my own and my mother is the very same...drives me NUTS, she aint as bad as she used to be but maybe thats because I am better able to handle her. I let it wash over me now, I smile and nod and let her have her say, it goes in one ear and out the other...

The way I see it is if she feels she HAS to say these things well then, thats her thing, I let her get on with it.Most of what she says is not true or is exaggerated etc etc.......

I am a woman and I know whats best for me....so I let her ramble on but at the back of it all, I know she is proud of me in her own way but she just has a problem keeping her big mouth closed lol..and se BF whenever the hell ya want to.



You will be moving out pretty soon and then you will have your own space not NOT eat bananas, wear what you want

Water off a ducks back hon...You are feckin DEADLY! (and they know that too really, it's their job to give you crap advice) xx

[neart]

Sober NOvember Challenge

Thanks Oney and Choochie I like the picture, Choochie! Yeah, ye are right - I need to stop letting it get to me. I've always been way too sensitive to her comments anyway, and she can be very hurtful at times - a bad combination! I got a bit upset there for a while so I just took myself off to bed. I guess I need to learn to make my own decisions and stick to them. I don't think I trust my own judgement at all, and I think it's a big part of why I drank way too much for way too long. It's like I"m only learning now how to do all these things - make my own decisions, have faith in myself. Never too late, I guess. Thanks again x

[one2many]

Sober NOvember Challenge

No, it's never too late....even now my Mother has the power to ring me over something and I come away from the phone crying......she winds me up BIG TIME!! She also can be VERY hurtful and cutting and I walk on eggshells sometimes..

But guess what...I let her...it is my choice, I need to walk away from it and not let her push my buttons.

Your judgement is absolutely right...trust it...this is an exciting time for you Neart, no booze and rediscovering the real girl underneath....embrace it...

I am still learning something new every day and I am beginning to trust myself more and love the little bint I see in the mirror.

Baby steps xx