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**LVT25** · November 1, 2010, 08:23 PM

Call out for the Long Term Folks

Monthly Abstinence - My Way Out Forums

Hello there! Check out the Monthly Abs section. We have a daily thread in there that has been going strong for some time now. Most of us are af for a good length of time, and working on living our lives. Most that come to that thread are interested in being af and not drinking in moderation. There are no rules, we are there to support anyone that wants to get sober! See you there!:welcome:

**neart** · November 2, 2010, 02:42 AM

Call out for the Long Term Folks

Hi Itsjustme, I don't think I have a lot of wisdom to impart as I'm pretty new to this, just over the 3 months, but I can share a bit if you like.

Re: starting out - I just didn't think about the big picture, about doing anything more than ODAT. I couldn't think about staying AF, it was too scary and I couldn't imagine life without AL. So, I took it one day at a time. And when I was confronted with AL or with a situation where I was being offered it or around it, I broke things down and took it one minute or even one second at a time, saying to myself "I will not drink for the next 10 seconds" etc. And I would just keep saying that till the craving passed.

I was a binge drinker rather than an everyday drinker, but I had landed myself in whole heaps of trouble over the years and my health was going down.

Bumps in the road - mainly cravings hitting me from out of nowhere, when I least expected them. They talk here of surfing the craving, of just riding it out and reminding yourself that it will pass. I found that I felt great after about 2 weeks, then I felt awful and depressed for ages! That's when I really needed this place, and so many people helped me through. Coming up to the 3 month mark, I felt out of sorts again. There are ups and downs along the way, and one of the things that surprised me most is that my life didn't suddenly improve in every way - I'm still too short tempered with my Dad, for instance, and I still get moody. I thought I'd turn into a little angel once I dropped AL, but no!

To be honest, I'd say AL still comes to my mind every day, but nowadays it's more like "thank God I don't drink". I feel freer than I ever remember feeling, and I'm happy to remember how far I've come.

I had to avoid going out for ages until I was sure I was comfortable with it, and secure in myself. Getting outside for some fresh air really helps every day, and I've been getting into meditation which calms me down a lot. But the biggest, best help was MWO - I know I couldn't have done it without all the wonderful people here.

Hope that helps :l

**icandothis** · November 2, 2010, 03:58 AM

Call out for the Long Term Folks

Thanks very much Neart for the words of wisdom! And thanks ItsJust for starting this thread. It is very helpful to see in one spot what people have come accross in their journey to sobriety.

I have been entering into a slight feeling of depression (day 12 today) and have felt this in the past when maintaining sobriety, after the initial elation at being sober! It's great to hear that this has been the experience of others as well.

I've heard from everyone that it feels better and better after 60/90/120 days etc. So, I'm going to give that a try this time around! I have to agree this is a wonderful site. So happy to be here.

**one2many** · November 2, 2010, 10:21 AM

Call out for the Long Term Folks

Bloody good post Sheri (as usual ) Thanks hon x

**Choochie** · November 2, 2010, 10:37 AM

Call out for the Long Term Folks

Thanks everyone for posting here. Day 29 AF for me (yea) - it's really helpful to hear what you guys have experienced so we can know what possibly to expect.

**Doggygirl** · November 2, 2010, 01:25 PM

Call out for the Long Term Folks

It's just me, congratulations on your AF time. For me, those early days/weeks/months were the hardest. I stay motivated because after 60 days AF, then a relapse, it took me another 8 months of slipping and sliding before i was finally able to get back firmly on the wagon again. I do NOT want to ever go through that again if I can possibly avoid it.

ItsJustMe;994566 wrote: Particularly I?d like to know things like:
- How you did itI followed the My Way Out program as outlined in the book, with the exception of the prescription medication. I did not take any meds. I have since added AA to my sobriety plan.

- How bad were you before you decided to go soberI started drinking in my late teens and by my early 20's I was a daily drinker. By my mid 30's I was barely able to make it until 5PM to start, and often found ways to start earlier during the week. Weekend? Blotto. By my early 40's I simply could not go without drinking until 5PM or even 3PM most days. If I did, I was very very very cranky over it. Whenever I could (and even many times I shouldn't) I was pouring a drink instead of a coffee first thing in the AM.

- Tell us about bumps in the road that you wouldn?t expectThere is really no reason for unexpected things to disrupt my sobriety. I may not know when exactly I might say...lose a parent or husband or close friend / relative to illness or accident. But it could happen. I don't know if some financial disaster will strike. But it could. I can't see the specifics of my own future, but like all of us here, it is sure to contain some good and some bad. That's life. Many, many people deal with ALL of life's highs and lows without drinking. If they can do it, I can learn to do it too. Even when it's hard. It's hard for other people too. There is absolutely nothing about my life, good or bad, that most people if not all people will go through at some time or other. I need to accept that and develop coping mechanisms that don't include AL, and then there will never be a bump I can't handle without AL.

- When did you first notice that you could go an entire day without Al even entering your mind

For me, AL "enters my mind" every day. That is by default as I always check in here, and several days a week go to an AA meeting. AL is discussed heavily in both places! :H And if not here or there, then ads, billboards, the liquor aisle at the grocery store, it's everywhere. HOWEVER... I thank the universe every day that the compulsion to drink has been lifted. Today, I have absolutely no desire to drink. It may not always stay that way, but I will treasure every moment that IS that way.

- When did you feel that you were actually free of the clutches of Al

My lingering fear of relapse is what motivated me to go to AA. I was about 8 months sober at the time. I would say the fear started to lift a few months after that.

- What did and did not work for you

What works for me is to stay connected to healthy, long term sober people while also reaching out to help newcomers or those who are struggling. I need both in my life. What did NOT work for me was listening my "AL voice" in my head. The one that told me after 60 days AF, I could drink safely. hahahahahaha. What a crock that was. Then I suffered 8 more months of crap like "I'll quit when this bottle is empty..... I'll quit tomorrow.... I'll quit after my birthday/Christmas/vacation/4th of July/whatever.... I need a drink because I'm so stressed.... blah blah etc. Forget the voice.

- Any other wisdom that you could impart on us newbies.

Make a written plan and stick to it. If it doesn't work, change it. Be willing to go to any length to get sober and stay sober. Find some people who have been sober awhile and make them part of your circle. Remember that self pity and resentment are your enemies in this battle. Help others. Find a purpose in your life that is bigger than you.

I know that in my weight loss process, I love looking at before and after pictures as well as reading their stories for inspiration. This is sort of the same thing I am looking for.

Congratulations on your weight loss! I lost over 50 after I quit drinking, but am really battling that "final 10" again. I would love to hear your story - I'm betting I could gain inspiration from you if you care to share!

Strength and hope to you. If I can get sober, and a bunch of other people here can get sober, so can you.

DG

DG

**mollyka** · November 2, 2010, 02:07 PM

Call out for the Long Term Folks

I feel a bit of a fraud posting here - I'm not sober continuously that long, since May this year. Anyhow - here we go
How I did it. I became such a mess that I had to do it or loose my loved ones and almost certainly die. In the immediate, I went to a doc. I had only seen once or twice, broke down told him I was an alcoholic - have never minced my words with him since and singly that is probably the best thing I have ever done in all of this, he is in my court, knows I'm not bullshitting and sees me warts and all.

How bad was I. I was drinking 24/7, a pint to a litre of vodka every day then wine when hubs was drinking - just falling asleep between sessions.
When did I go a day without thinking of alcohol. Not sure that I would really go an entire day without a thought - not a craving or a longing necessarily, but it was such a huge part of my life in some context, even if the thought is ' I haven't thought of alcohol today'

When did I feel I was out of it's clutches. Never have, never will I am one glass away from raving alcoholism.
What did/didn't work for me. What categorically DIDN'T work for me was allowing myself think that somewhere in the future I would allow myself a little secret 'binge' or session 'nobody would know', I have to 100% rule out EVER EVER EVER drinking, bit of a contradiction tho, cos I still have to go ODAT sometimes.

Any other wisdom? Not sure if it's wisdom, but when I was here first, I used to read the 'olbies' saying how they love being sober, and I truly thought they were delusional, codding themselves, talking shite - it took a while, but I truly truly love being sober. I love no guilt, no hiding, no lies, no horror waking up, I could go on forever........... I love the fact I have lost heaps of weight without trying. I love that my skins clear, my liver's healthy. I couldn't imagine going back to that awful place that the only highlight was maybe an hour of a 'buzz' and then........yuck.
Sorry I've gone on so long
Molly

**ItsJustMe** · November 2, 2010, 04:58 PM

Call out for the Long Term Folks

You guys are GREAT!!! This is exactly what I was hoping for. I love seeing all this concentrated info in one spot. This is just like the before/after pics/stories on Weight Watchers!

Everything here is so inspirational.

Doggy ? My story is somewhat boring and stupid. I?m a middle aged father of 2 boys and a beautiful wife. I?m in upper middle management in a Fortune 20 company. I really have no tragic life events that I can blame on my condition. Where I am is totally my fault and started about 8 years ago for no apparent reason. About two years ago I went to a doc in the box on the weekend because my GP was closed to get an ear infection treated. It was then that I learned that my BP was stroke level. I was about 75 pounds overweight. I left the clinic AMA (against medical advice) ? they were scaring the crap out of me and making my BP worse. That was like around end of December. Starting Jan 1 I did one of those crazy resolutions. I did awesome!!! I quit Al for 3 months ? went to the gym every day ? dropped almost 60 pounds and ran in 2-5K races. I got cocky and let my guard down. Fast forward to 17 days ago. I had gained almost all my weight back and was back to a 2l bottle of Bacardi about every 3 days. I haven?t been to the GP in months for fear of what my BP will be (I won?t even take it myself).

I decided last month that I had had enough of this crap. I admitted to my psychiatrist my issue ? I laid it all out. I talked for almost an hour non-stop. As the Baptist preacher said ?Tell it all, Brother? and that is exactly what I did. It was the best thing that I believe I have done for myself in recent memory. I walked out with an Rx for Antibuse, and the courage to tell my spouse what was going on with my issue.

So here I am now, 17 days AF. Not a very colorful story but I am committed to change. After I can get past the absolute exhaustion the Antibuse brings on I will be visiting the gym again as well.

Thanks again everyone who has posted. You do not know what this means for me and I am sure others benefit from it as well. I am hopeful more will post here too.

Take care,
ItsJustMe
AF since 10/16/10

**Doggygirl** · November 2, 2010, 05:13 PM

Call out for the Long Term Folks

ItsJustMe, boy can I relate. I used to think I was not an alcoholic because alcholics were those people living under bridges, drinking out of cheap bottles wrapped in paper bags, and pissing on themselves. Little did I know that alcholism can and does touch people of every nook and cranny of our society. I too am a former corporate exec type. I nearly lost my job for drinking. I quit first. I don't really regret that - have built a really different life that I love.

I think it's wonderful that you went to a professional and "told all" and asked for help. That is something I was not brave enough to do, unfortunately. Heck, these people are in their professions because they WANT to help. Glad that worked out for you.

Read around and if you think it would help, find some folks to just check in with every day. For me, it's the Daily AF thread in Monthly Abstinence (a new thread each day - start it if you don't see one) and the Weekly AA thread in the same section. There are other threads too - see what feels comfortable.

Strength and hope,

DG

**Sunnyvalenting** · November 2, 2010, 07:54 PM

Call out for the Long Term Folks

I have been abstinent, and comfortably so, for about 9 1/2 months. I drank addictively for over 40 years. I tried everything. Finally baclofen was the answer and remains so for me. Good luck. I am sure that if you keep at it you will find your way.
Sunny

**mario** · November 3, 2010, 03:46 AM

Call out for the Long Term Folks

mollyka;995038 wrote: I feel a bit of a fraud posting here - I'm not sober continuously that long, since May this year. Anyhow - here we go
How I did it. I became such a mess that I had to do it or loose my loved ones and almost certainly die. In the immediate, I went to a doc. I had only seen once or twice, broke down told him I was an alcoholic - have never minced my words with him since and singly that is probably the best thing I have ever done in all of this, he is in my court, knows I'm not bullshitting and sees me warts and all.

How bad was I. I was drinking 24/7, a pint to a litre of vodka every day then wine when hubs was drinking - just falling asleep between sessions.
When did I go a day without thinking of alcohol. Not sure that I would really go an entire day without a thought - not a craving or a longing necessarily, but it was such a huge part of my life in some context, even if the thought is ' I haven't thought of alcohol today'

When did I feel I was out of it's clutches. Never have, never will I am one glass away from raving alcoholism.
What did/didn't work for me. What categorically DIDN'T work for me was allowing myself think that somewhere in the future I would allow myself a little secret 'binge' or session 'nobody would know', I have to 100% rule out EVER EVER EVER drinking, bit of a contradiction tho, cos I still have to go ODAT sometimes.

Any other wisdom? Not sure if it's wisdom, but when I was here first, I used to read the 'olbies' saying how they love being sober, and I truly thought they were delusional, codding themselves, talking shite - it took a while, but I truly truly love being sober. I love no guilt, no hiding, no lies, no horror waking up, I could go on forever........... I love the fact I have lost heaps of weight without trying. I love that my skins clear, my liver's healthy. I couldn't imagine going back to that awful place that the only highlight was maybe an hour of a 'buzz' and then........yuck.
Sorry I've gone on so long
Molly

:goodjob: mollyka

**mollyka** · November 3, 2010, 04:10 AM

Call out for the Long Term Folks

Thanks Mario - how're you? Which holiday you goin on next?

**mario** · November 3, 2010, 04:18 AM

Call out for the Long Term Folks

mollika;995441 wrote: Thanks Mario - how're you? Which holiday you goin on next?

Ah god help me it wont be till january.

**mollyka** · November 3, 2010, 04:38 AM

Call out for the Long Term Folks

:upset::upset::upset:

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