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    #1

    New and demoralized :-(

    Hello everyone,
    This is probably my thousandth Day 1 and I hope it's the last. I have been drinking my way into oblivion for the past two days. Lately, every time I stop, I am so overrun with anxiety and sadness and a whole host of unpleasantness that I'm sure is related to my poor brain's chemistry. I hope the supplements will make that part of it easier because as of right now I am starting to feel like I will never get out from under this. I feel so hopeless.

    I would love to hear from people who are succeeding at sobriety this time around

    Sam
    "No matter what happens, be fearless!"
    Sam - AF since 12/11/10
    Tags: None
    #2
    New and demoralized :-(

    Hi Samantha - yep we've mostly all had heaps of Day 1's - I'm really good at them:blush:. Sometimes it just takes grit and determination to blag your way through that first 24 hours. The anxiety is horrible and is very hard to see past it. But if you can accept that yes it is horrible - but IT WILL PASS - definitely, without doubt, without the alcohol, you can hang in there. Have a go girl, it is really worth it and Day 2 is heaps easier than Day 1!!:welcome:
    Molly
    Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
    contentedly NF since 8/04/14

    Comment

      #3
      New and demoralized :-(

      Hi Samantha. I've had a lot of "Day 1's" too. I can't even count the number of times I've said "I'm not going to drink today" and by noon (or sooner) I was at it again.

      I believe the supplements and exercise and hypnotherapy really help. I started out using everything recommended in the My Way Out book except meds. I've since added AA to the mix. That is what's working for me now.

      I had to become willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to stop drinking and stay stopped, one day at a time. There was a time when I sort of wanted to stop drinking, but I was NOT going to go to AA - HEAVENS NO!! ANYTHING but that! Well, not exactly anything. I wouldn't consider a prescription med either. Tell my doctor??? You must be JOKING!! Anyway...I think you can see where this took me.

      If what you've been doing isn't working, then change what you are doing. There are lots of ideas here in the Toolbox (Monthly Abstinence Section right at the top) and there are many other good threads. I recommend a written plan making it easier to hold yourself accountable.

      You will probably feel like crap for awhile. I know I did. It was hard and some days I didn't think I could do it. But after a bunch of tries, here I stand with a MUCH better life (and no more desire to end it) and almost 2.5 years sober. If I can do it, I know you can do it to.

      Strength and hope,

      DG
      Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
      Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

      One day at a time.

      Comment

        #4
        New and demoralized :-(

        On my knees swearing I will not drink that day but come mid-afternoon..... oh yeah, I've had my share of day 1s. I'd like to think I'm a long term abstainer now - but never take anything for granted. I have 2 AF (alcohol free) years separated by a few months of discovering that NO, one year did not fix me. I'm in it for life. I have to be.

        I feel like staying mindful of habits like staying hydrated, taking supplements, eating well and exercising - things talked about in the MWO book help. You can pick up some tips here along the way about what to do with anxiety, sleep tips, staying busy and productive, etc. Don't be shy to ask. This is a diverse group with lots of advice, who are thrilled to see someone succeed and more than willing to help.

        Make the commitment and make a plan!

        PS: "I have to be" because I would not want my life any other way. AF life is absolutely wonderful. I didn't want you to get the impression that "I have to be" means resigned to it or anything resembling that.
        sigpic
        Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

        Comment

          #5
          New and demoralized :-(

          Welcome Samantha!!!
          I love my family more than alcohol.:h
          Live in the Solution....not the problem

          Comment

            #6
            New and demoralized :-(

            Samantha hi :welcome:

            The unpleasantness you describe is what happens when you drink a depressant chemical, which is exactly what alcohol is. Remove this nice sedative and your nervous system rebounds all over the place. The good news is over time this gets less so long as you get through it, and start learning to live again.

            It can be done.

            Comment

              #7
              New and demoralized :-(

              Samantha,:welcome:

              Believe me, we have all been exactly where you are. I'm pretty new but I'd like to tell you a little bit about my experience in the hopes that it might help you. You are lucky because you also have the advice here of people with years of success willing to share ideas with you. I would encourage you to read as much as you can on this website. The advice and support here are what are making the difference for me.

              Before MWO I tried many times to moderate my drinking - for years, in fact. Nothing worked. I bought books, the whole nine yards. I finally physically felt so terrible from not sleeping and being hung over that I got on the internet and found MWO. I joined, immediately started posting, reading, reading, and reading.

              People immediately answered my questions and gave me great advice (all of it can be found in the Tools Section which has already been mentioned). I take no meds and have been AF for 33 days today.

              If you can start one day at a time (this term gets used a lot and it may start to sound cliche but it's true and it works) and string a few days together you can start building a foundation that will enable you to be stronger in your resolve to not drink.

              I stay tied to this site because it's what's making the difference for me. I also have made sure I stay out of social situations that make me want to drink. This part hasn't always been easy but in my mind there's nothing worth compromising my hard-earned AF days. I will eventually venture out more but for a good while I am committed to laying low while I accumulate a good chunk of AF time.

              It sounds like you're sick enough of alcohol to commit to getting it out of your life. You do have to be ready, because it's hard work. But, it's really doable. And, (you will hear this a lot too and it's true). it gets easier if you can just hold on and keep trying to be sober one day at a time.

              Wishing you the best and sending you support.:l

              Hugs,
              Choochie

              Comment

                #8
                New and demoralized :-(

                Hi & welcome samantha , you have come to a great community with lots of good advice and support, read as many threads/posts as you can,post your thoughts and feelings daily and give your self a chance. :-)


                :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

                Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
                I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

                This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

                Comment

                  #9
                  New and demoralized :-(

                  Hi Samantha-:welcome:. You have come to the best place on earth!! I found MWO the same as Choochie-hungover and sick to death of feeling this way every single day! I was missing more and more work, my eyes were swollen, my whole body bloated. the day I found MWO I immediately downloaded the book and read it cover to cover that nite. The next day I went out and bought ALL the supplements recommended. I also read whatever I could find on the site and I posted a few times to get me started. I think the combination of the support on this site and the supplements really really helped because every other time I had decided not to drink on a particular day or for a stretch of time I failed miserably.
                  I am now 2 days shy of 6 months AF and I couldn't be happier. It hasn't been a bed of roses-I had a month or so of insomnia and depression that I didn't think I would come out of but I did. I caved 2 times in my first 2 months of attempting to be AF (I started this journey in March of this year) but after the 2nd time that was it and I've been AF ever since. My sleep and depression problems have lifted and life is good. Hang in there-it will get easier!!
                  :l
                  New Birthday: May 8, 2010

                  "Because dwelling from, not upon, the space you want to inherit is the fastest way to change absolutely everything."[/i]-The Universe

                  KO the Beast!!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    New and demoralized :-(

                    Oh My Goodness!
                    You are all so wonderful. Thank you so much for the kind, encouraging words. I am home and sober and not drinking tonight. I saw my therapist today and she helped shed some light on a few things that have been going on, as well as describing the brain chemistry that is all mucked up at the moment. From what I have read here, the supplements should really help with that part of it at least. I think I really am sick enough of the whole thing to make sobriety a priority this time.

                    I will keep reading all of your posts this evening and hanging around, getting familiar with the site.

                    Thank you so much for being here...

                    hugs,
                    Sam
                    "No matter what happens, be fearless!"
                    Sam - AF since 12/11/10

                    Comment

                      #11
                      New and demoralized :-(

                      Good nite Sam from the cold and windy Northeast. Just fast forward to how great you are going to feel tomorrow morning -unhung, cleareyed and proud of yourself!! Day one over!! I'm so glad your therapist was able to clear up some things for you-I'd say she gave you a head start in that regard. If you get antsy or anxious later on tonite, or just can't sleep, just go into Live Chat (it's right up above on the blue toolbar)-because we have members from all over the world, there is always someone there. It's really helped me a few times if only to banter back and forth about nothing and take my mind off the cravings or the feelings of anxiety.
                      See you in the morning!!
                      :l
                      New Birthday: May 8, 2010

                      "Because dwelling from, not upon, the space you want to inherit is the fastest way to change absolutely everything."[/i]-The Universe

                      KO the Beast!!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        New and demoralized :-(

                        Hi Samantha, I hope you are feeling better today. For sure you are going through complex emotions and feelings. You can do it. Ride the real tough urges to drink, like you are surfing a wave. They will pass, and get smaller. It's Ok that they will come, expect them, surf them. All the best,
                        Hill
                        Sober since Feb 7, 2010.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          New and demoralized :-(

                          you can do it, it sounds silly at the start i know. but one day/hour/minute at a time.
                          gr8 place we have here with heaps of support.

                          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

                          check out the toolbox, it rocks.

                          aspy.
                          AF since 10/26/2009

                          It will be five years sober 10/26/2014

                          Comment

                            #14
                            New and demoralized :-(

                            :welcome: Sam,

                            This wonderful site has helped me make it to 10 weeks today. I went through the anxiety awful the first couple of weeks, then major sweets cravings now feeling amazing.

                            Keep strong, it isn't easy, but it is definitely worth it. There is nothing like enjoying the simple things in life again and getting out of the drinking drama.

                            The one thing that really struck a chord with me is the deprivation/gratitude way of thinking. Try not to think of being deprived but be grateful for living a sober life.

                            AL is poison.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              New and demoralized :-(

                              Welcome Samantha, I cant add to what's already been posted as I am pretty much new here myself, but I totally identify with your post. Well done on day one, I am on day 13 and taking it ODAT for now. :welcome::l

                              Comment

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