Day One

[madmans]

Day One

That's a tough one , for me you have forget about that party tonight, go in the day time make your excuses not to drink you will feel better in the morning . Hi Choochie doing well here how are you

[Choochie]

Day One

Hey guys - MM - good suggestion for Jenny. Jenny - I don't know a lot about long term sobriety but I'm about to get a book that addresses how to stay sober, aptly named: Staying Sober (imagine that). Anyway, I know that it talks about avoiding trigger situations. In fact, I think they even boil it down to exactly what types of curcumstances are MOST LIKELY to make us drink. I'll give you an update after I read it.

Stay strong everyone - just think about how you'll feel in the morning!

Choochie

[jennyneric]

Day One

i surfed the urge tonight, i went out to eat and to walmart with my kids and we had fun buying special stuff that we don't normally get (with me $ I saved on AL) and then I took a bath and now I'm going to bed. I faced the demon tonight and he was barking very loud but I faced him down and shut him up, I know it won't be the last time, in fact it's just the first time but for tonight. . . Jenny-1 demon-0! Have a wonderful Saturday everyone!

[Choochie]

Day One

Hi Everyone - just stopping by to say have a wonderful AF weekend. Jenny congrats on riding out the craving. It does get easier........And, don't you feel good today? Super job:goodjob:

Madmans, hope you're doing well today. Sharky and dlw, hi to you guys and anyone else who comes along today.

Hugs,
Choochie:l

[jennyneric]

Day One

I feel great Choochie! Thanks for the words of encouragement. . .I think I did good on my test . . .but the urge is back, I know it's because it's the weekend, I believe I will make it through tonight, I don't want to loose my 6 days! Best of luck y'all!

[Choochie]

Day One

J - Sending you strength!:l

[Sharky]

Day One

Hope everyone is having a great Sunday. Jenn Similar urges and fought hard. Did have a couple glasses of wine but stopped when I was craving more. Felt good about stopping - man it was hard. I felt in control and that felt better than anything. Great weekend and planning on the same control and AF through holidays. Sunday's tend to be my worst but am confident of no AL today!

Keep up the good wok everyone!

[jennyneric]

Day One

Well good morning everyone! Unfortunately I did not make it through Saturday night, I had 4 drinks but I went to bed at 1 and was up by 7:30 working on my Sunday chores. I did not drink on Sunday and am not going to drink this week. Wednesday may be a bit of and issue as I am going to a comedy show, however my saving grace may be the comic that I am going to see is "straight edge" meaning he has never in his life done drugs or alcohol. I wish I could say that! This is the second addition that I have stopped and forced myself to recover from before the addition could get the better of the, oddly the last substance was easier to stop than this one because it was not sold in stores (if you know what I mean) alcohol you can get anywhere! My sister in law is a recovering alcohol addict. 6 years ago she was on the edge of divorce, both her and her husband drank, she moved out and started drinking to excess. Between May and Aug of 2005 she signed her rights to her children over to her husband and beat up her mother and disappeared for 4 years. She came back into our lives April 2009, she was remarried with two beautiful girls (2 and newborn) she had not had contact the two boys from the 1st marriage since Aug '05, she had been clean and sober since Aug'05. Fast Forward to yesterday. Her new marriage is ending in divorce, she is living with her mom, she is dating her 1st husband, she went to her son from the 1st marriage 13th birthday party yesterday, and she is drinking again, vodka which was her drink of choice the 1st time, yesterday she was drinking vodka to the birthday party, first birthday party she has been to of her sons since he was 8 and he is 13. . .why???? Why after 5 sober years????? I watched alcohol destroy 7 peoples lives and 4 of them are children, her children! I won't let it destroy mine! Thanks for listening. No drunk holiday's no drunk birthdays! Ever

[jennyneric]

Day One

AF Sunday and Monday! Good Morning! How is everyone? Sharky are you still hangin in there? Can't wait for Turkey Day!

[Choochie]

Day One

Jenny - quite a tragic story about your sister-in-law. The real tragedy is that she is ruining innocent childrens' lives - they'll probably grow up to have major problems because of the dysfunction they've seen from her. I never cease to be amazed at the havoc alcohol wreaks. Sad that it ever became legal, really.

Reading your story, along with others of you who are trying to moderate solidifies my committment to not drink. It's such a struggle to moderate. Abstaining is becoming less of a problem for me than the idea of moderating - that constant battle within yourself. I hope you guys can come to a good place that works for you. I just hear how difficult controlling the amount sounds to be.

Well, I am here to listen any time. It sounds like maybe witnessing these ex sister-in-law horrors might help you keep your drinking in check?? I hope so.

So, hang in there and stay committed to your AF week - hope all goes well.:l

Madmans and Sharky - hi to you too if you come along today - hope you're hanging in there.

Choochie:l DAY 50 AF FOR ME!!

[jennyneric]

Day One

Choochie it is a constant battle and it is very hard to mod. I do not believe I am ready to even try yet. Saturday was a slip but not a bad one. I am back on the horse and ready to ride again. I believe I will be ready to mod when I stop counting days, when I stop having to try so hard to get through the week without AL, when it becomes a passing thought not an obsession, when I no longer care I will be ready. That maybe a year it maybe 4 years but I know it will not be 30 days or even 180 days. When recovering from substance abuse there are those that can't ever do it or be around it again and there are those that recover and can still partake every once in a great while (like once a year but more than 3 times a year is a problem). I can do this with other substances ( I have not touched it since feb 2009) but AL could be different I'm not sure I have never tried to stop before. I do know as long as the battle with myself rages within I am not ready to mod. As long as I have to measure and can't just stop when I'm done or for that matter know when I am done, I am not ready to mod. As long as I care about AL I am not ready to mod. . .thoughts?

[Choochie]

Day One

Jenny, I think that once alcohol has changed our brain we can never mod again without it being a struggle - that there is no going back -- that once whatever the complex chemical reactions are that get all that going to the point where it's a problem get started, that moderating is a dream. But, I am certainly no expert and I guess I can see why people want to give it a try. I would worry, though, that when you keep screwing with the chemistry (starting and stopping) that you're creating an even worse problem.......just my instincts, best guesses, and garnering from things I've read. I would be worried that eventually I wouldn't be able to stop. I am focusing on how much better my life is now and how in hindsight, alcohol was really giving me nothing. But, that's just me, and we all have to find our way.

Choochie

[madmans]

Day One

hi jenny i'm with choochie on this . it took me a long time to wake up to the fact

[jennyneric]

Day One

I get where you are coming from, and I certainly understand that I can be wrong, as with all things in life there is a path to be taken, if it's the wrong one you must be diligent in recognizing that so you can turn around before you are to far down the path and can not find your way back. Right now I am finding my way back. When I encounter the wrong path again I will recognize it this time and will make a conscience decision not to go down that way again.

Take last night, me and the kids were baking Christmas cookies and I did not have a drink. Now the kitchen makes me think of drinking and I had every intention of going to the store and getting some. But what happened was the baking was taking longer than expected and while baking my husband got drunk, more so than normal, and got sick. All I could think while baking with my kids and making memories is that he was missing out and they would have the memory of him drunk on this day forever (they are 11 and 14 they will remember). The other thing I thought is how happy I was that it was not me drunk. So I squashed the cravings and the thoughts, finished baking and me and the kids watched House and went to bed to wake up to a beautiful fall morning happy and sober. Yeah me! That will me my memory for Thanksgiving 2010!

[Choochie]

Day One

Now, that's wonderful Jenny - to not be pulled toward the drinking with hubs and stay focused on the kids!! Awesome. Maybe you're nipping the al thing in the bud early enough in your life that you can control it. Just be mindful - that's a big head start!!