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    #1

    Having a really low moment

    I'm having a really low moment. I'm not drinking, nor will i. I'm not messing up this time. I can't turn back my life or press a delete button. Life is not a game and i can't get back the time or money i've wasted so now is the time to grow the hell upand i'm not playing. This is keeping me very strong and i am not caving no matter what.

    HOWEVER, yes i strong but i'm having a rough afternoon. I feel fat and horrible =( I know this is not true but it's how i feel. I've hit my 2 week snag.. I usually cavein and drink but not this time and i'm slowly pushing through secondby second, minute by minute to get to another AF day. I've been honest with my hubby, told him i'm low, craving ect ect and he's great but it doesn't stop the fact i'm low. To help with this craving part, i need to eat and eat and eat, sweets, crap you name it i need it which makes me feel fat and horrible. unfortunatly i am VERY body aware and always have a perfect figure, perfect clothes, perfect makeup so eating like this is killing me but i'm sober. Just had loads of tears of this.
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    #2
    Having a really low moment

    sorry it's a real pathetic post

    Comment

      #3
      Having a really low moment

      Hi Michelle, you sound beautiful to me not fat and horrible. I would say do what it takes to get through this period of time. If that means eating too much junk then so be it, probably not great advice but it is the lesser of two evils and can be tackled in the weeks ahead when you are feeling stronger and better able to cope. Then you can look toward eating healthy and starting some gentle exercise. You are here among people that do understand, stick close.
      Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

      Comment

        #4
        Having a really low moment

        Hi michelle read back on your post of yesterday why you are doing this , you have a beautiful family.

        As ktab has said you can deal with calories at a later date.keep strong & posting.


        :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

        Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
        I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

        This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

        Comment

          #5
          Having a really low moment

          Michelle we all get days like this and I know they are crap, I have a seizure when I cant fasten my jeans :H but im getting better at dealing with it. Being AF helps keep things in perspective and the longer you abstain the better you will feel about the whole of your life.
          Ok right now you are a bit low but remember it will pass and like all our feelings its only temporary. Focus on something good, like Mario says, your lovely family and stop beating yourself up :l
          "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
          AF - JAN 1st 2010
          NF - May 1996

          Comment

            #6
            Having a really low moment

            Lil M, I so remember those exhausted, "ugly" days with the near constant demands of a baby and toddlers. I lived in stretch pants and loose t-shirts (sorry guys, but it ain't pretty).

            Can someone come over and help for a couple of hours so you can do something for yourself--bath, haircut, new "non-mom" outfit?

            I got so depleted I went to a shrink and got on antidepressants, which helped tremendously. Maybe you can talk to your doctor on Monday about that, if you haven't already.

            Hang in there! It gets better, I promise. xoxoxo Pride
            AF since July 15, 2010. :applouse:
            "People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim." —Ann Landers

            Comment

              #7
              Having a really low moment

              *lol* i am on antidepressants and it's not my children getting me down. I think it the constant fight mentally and phsyically to stay AF. Like i said, i make 2 weeks no problem then i hit a wall, which is what i've hit and i'm fighting hard to climb it and getting fat in the process. I will climb it tho

              Comment

                #8
                Having a really low moment

                lil.michelle;1002734 wrote: sorry it's a real pathetic postMichelle, this is not a pathetic post. This is what MWO is all about. Helping each other get through this.
                I saw the pictures of your family. You are beautiful. And together with your husband, you've made two beautiful children. And your baby is young. It takes a while to get back to feeling good about our bodies after we give birth. Especially the second time. Is there any chance that you're having post-partum depression and haven't realized it? I suffered it badly after my second child was born but didn't realize it until years later. Up to 25% of women suffer from it after child-birth. Maybe talk to your doctor about it.


                mario;1002741 wrote:                 Hi michelle read back on your post of yesterday why you are doing this , you have a beautiful family.

                As ktab has said you can deal with calories at a later date.keep strong & posting.
                Both Mario and KTAB are right in what they say. Don't worry about the calories since you aren't drinking them, you're eating them instead.
                Stick around here if you can. You'll get through this. The MWO "family" will help you...
                For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
                AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

                Comment

                  #9
                  Having a really low moment

                  Oh Michelle I am so sorry you're down, but you are strong. AND you have a wonderful motivation - your beautiful family. It's hard - I am on day 13 and I have to admit that a glass of chardonnay sounded pretty nice a little while ago, but I got up and started cleaning, arranging, doing laundry, playing with the kids and the thoughts went away. God, it's hard not to fall back on those habits, but I HAVE to not give in. It gets better. I feel gross and fat alot too, but I do my best and my number one goal is to stay sober. If I gain 2 pounds, so be it. It wlil all work itself out. Maybe you need some extra rest? I am super tired having been up wth the baby most of the night, so I think that is why I felt kind of weak. I hope that this passes for you soon and know that we are all here for you!
                  February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

                  When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Having a really low moment

                    I am suffering from it but thats not what my problem is.

                    I think it the constant fight mentally and phsyically to stay AF. Like i said, i make 2 weeks no problem then i hit a wall, which is what i've hit and i'm fighting hard to climb it and getting fat in the process. I will climb it tho
                    The cravings get me down.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Having a really low moment

                      Hi wagoneer, yeah i am tired which i have noticed starts cravings off, that and being hungry. I've done the same, cleaning, gardening ect ect
                      Hubby just let me have a long relaxing bath without the children *lol* It was lovely, a little boring tho. Got out and decided to wash the puppy who then goes MENTAL when wet.
                      My hubby didn't know i was washing her so i opened the door and let her go and she went charging in crazily and heard huby shouting oooohhh noooo crazy dog, the children laughing and it's cheered me up LOADS *lol* Funny how small things can help.
                      ANOTHER AF DAY.... Got to count how many..

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Having a really low moment

                        Michelle, what's different this time is that you recognise it and you are determined that you wont drink this time ..............

                        I most certainly agree with the others, eat what you want and then when you are stronger you can work on the calories!!!

                        Take care, BB xx
                        sigpicXXX

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Having a really low moment

                          Lil M, Just read your thread and in some ways I do understand what u are going through. The first thing that strikes me is that you have a husband that is supporting you and loves you very much. That in itself makes it worth the daily battle. Now, the whole self image issue. My story is both alcohol and emotional. Suffered all my life from body image, self-esteem issues. You should be so proud of yourself for tackling your biggest problem first. I went a few weeks before I found a new therapist who told me to do an exercise "girl in the mirror". Look at my avatar. Alone in my house with my favorite music playing, I took about 200 pictures of myself. Some head shots and some full body. Guess what? I love myself now. My body is not perfect, my facial features are not perfect, but what I saw come through was that beautiful girl still inside me. In some of the photos, I have the same exact smile I did as a toddler. Soooo my advice is to let your family love and hold you up right now. And for yourself, take the camera out and look long and hard in the mirror. You will love the reflection looking back at you!! Be proud that you are a few wks AF!!!! Good luck!:h

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                            #14
                            Having a really low moment

                            Soulsearcher - thank you for that. I will get that camera out. Is that you in the pic? You're beautiful and what a LOVELY picture. I know i'm doing the right things staying sober so that'll come first !!

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Having a really low moment

                              michelle, i know exactly how youre feeling, as do many of us here. if eating is helping you stay sober go for it. as has already been said you can deal with a few extra pounds when you feel stronger, as you will when youre sober. i had a rubbish horrid feeling the other day..... so i went back to bed... all day. i realise you prob dont have the luxury of being able to do that but the point im making is do whatever you need to keep away from the booze. the feelings will pass..... and much more quickly if youre sober
                              Today is the tomorrow i worried about yesterday and it turned out fine
                              Keep passing the open windows

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