I'm coming up on 2 wks. AF and am determined not to drink. I am slowly realizing that I don't have many or maybe any real true friends. MY relationship of several years with a great girl largely based on drinking is floundering. I guess this is just part of the situation I've gotten myself into by letting drinking be priority # 1 in my life. I am sitting in a low spot and not feeling much of anything. My life is good. I have a job, no debt, a place to live and many things to be thankful for. It just seems like I have neglected my emotional side by blunting things with alcohol. Not liking the sinking feeling in my gut that major changes I feel are coming will not be enjoyable & are now so apparent. I know tomorrow is another day but today is not fun. I will keep my chin up and work on things as they unfold. I know the drill and have been through many tough times. It just gets weary. I guess this is where I decide to come clean with myself and get busy making a life or. There is no or. Or drink? That's not an option right now. Maybe by putting these thoughts down in words it will force me to deal. Well not feeling like saying much more. Sorry for the histrionics & thanks for listening.
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No bed of roses
Congratulations on your AF time. That is such an excellent start. I know how jarring it feels to look at life and relationships and realize that AL has been #1 and now things are all in the wrong order. You CAN build a much better sober life. It just takes time and effort, one day at a time. For me, all the effort in the journey is more than worth it. I wouldn't trade my life today for the old drinking days for anything.
Strength and hope to you!
DGSobriety Date = 5/22/08
Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07
One day at a time.
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No bed of roses
you could choose to look at this as a fresh start, a new life, and adventure. see what it's like to live authentically.
good work on the 2 weeks already...and i didn't find your post hysterical in the least!
peaceComment
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No bed of roses
You are right peace and thank you. I had a very frustrating day so some good food and a little rest righted me a bit. It is
how you choose to look at a given situation that makes the difference. After reading numerous threads here tonight that is clear. Also I would like to "live authentically". Great concept. I would like to unleash the good in me. These words of advice you gave helped me to get through a rough spot where I normally would've knocked back a few. :thanks: again, & peace to youComment
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Also not to forget doggygirl with a warm thank you. I read one line over & over.
" You CAN build a much better sober life. It just takes time and effort, one day at a time."
I will print it out and read it daily. Powerful words definitely worth inculcating the brain with. Thank you for helping me through today.Comment
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No bed of roses
You are welcome! I'm heading off to bed. Grateful for another sober day. Looking forward to an unhung morning. Ah the good life! Let's do it together.
DGSobriety Date = 5/22/08
Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07
One day at a time.
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No bed of roses
Completely true.Hypernova;1003270 wrote: It is how you choose to look at a given situation that makes the difference
It took me a while to realise that not drinking is as valid a life choice as not smoking or vegetarianism or any of the other ways people choose to improve themselves. It isn't some sort of weirdness or self imposed exile from society.
Some people don't get it and that's fine. They don't have to deal with our lives. We do.Comment
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No bed of roses
That is so true Popeye, it is just another CHOICE. Also I found a breakthrough concept for me is that it's alright to feel shite somedays. Just cos we are sober doesn't mean we are going to be 'happy clappy' all the time - there will be rubbish days - drinking or not drinking, the drinking just masks the rubbish a bit for a while, but it still comes back and bites us on the bum and then we also have to deal with the guilt, shame, hangovers........need I go on - this way we just deal with the blaaahhhs!! and they go away again!
MollyContentedly sober since 27/12/2011
contentedly NF since 8/04/14
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No bed of roses
Hyper, your post is very honest and open. I believe that you will find great value in re-reading your own post, it is insightful in and of itself. Since I have gone sober, I have had many relationships change, and have really seen a decrease in "my friends time" - which used to be, mostly spent drinking. I miss that for sure. However, I don't really crave it now like I did in the first few months. I crave the friendship, but not the late night partying. Perhaps you need to ride it out like you say. Your perspective will change in time. The evil enemy will never change. Living life sober, for me, is worth all of the lost or changed friendships in the world. For me, being sober, allows me to have a friendship with my own soul, my own emotions, my own brain, and I get to be engaged in life. Hold fast.
HillSober since Feb 7, 2010.Comment
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No bed of roses
Hyper, just wanted to say hi and tell you that it really does get better. I'm 41 days AF today. I have had some really "flatliner" moments where I just felt incredibly bored (or the feeling of "is this all there is?"), but the feelings pass. I hang on, something changes, and then the thoughts switch to "I'm so glad I'm not drinking anymore." And, if you read peoples' posts who have been AF for a year or two, they say it gets even better.
Just wanted to say we are here for you and send you peace and strength. Looking forward to the day when I don't give alcohol a second thought. It took me 40 years of drinking to get to this point, so I'm being patient. Hope you can too.
Choochie:lComment
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No bed of roses
Hi Hypernova, Congrats on the 2 wks AF! I agree that it is a choice we all have as to how we view a situation. While your relationship with this great girl is floundering right now, I have to believe that as you take each day AF the relationship will grow and flourish in ways never before possible. I have always believed that things in life happen for a reason and it's how we choose to deal with them that will give us our true self-worth. Good luck!
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No bed of roses
Phew, what to say? Hill, Choochie & Soul. I didn't expect such words. I talk with many people and walk away feeling empty. The thoughts and ideas you send my way leave me feeling full and satisfied. I am grateful to be among such people. Here's to staying AF and feeling good. We may or may not be or become friends but there has definitely been a connection & it feels good so I will run with it. Hopefully the day will come when I am able to offer help through a thought or word that will have the impact on someone as yours have on me. All the best ~ hyperComment
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No bed of roses
That's why we are all here. Not all days are sunshine, so we pick each other up. Stay the course and keep going AF! We'll be reading....
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