Plans on being sober over christmas...

[lil.michelle]

I know this is a little early and i have no idea if a thread like this has been started but i was wondering, what with the festive spirit nearly upon us what everyone was planning to do and how they were going to plan being sober over the holidays... AL seems to be everwhere in this season, in all the tv adds, on offer in every shop and pasted everywhere we go soi know temptation will be very strong. It's as if christmas wouldn;t be christmas, new years eve will not be new years eve without AL.

Luckliy for me, i don't drink, feel the need or crave AL when my hubby is around. never. I used too but not now and i'm going to be handing all my money and cards over just incase i do get tempted. I want to remember this christmas, enjoy every second of it as it's the first christmas my daughter has ever been aware of and i'm not ruining it. I worked last christmas (work in a hospital) so this one is even more important to me!

[Guest]

Plans on being sober over christmas...

I agree, heres to a CRINGE free christmas...
As for the plan, its really odat for me. When I think of buying drink I think again, 'no, dont need to drink tonight' and leave it. Working for me so far. Good luck Lil. Michelle.

[Pride before Fall]

Plans on being sober over christmas...

Michelle, I think the key for you then, is have your husband around!

I'll put the memory of last Christmas eve in the front on my mind: Driving to the 9 o'clock church service trashed, with my kids in the car. Pulling out into traffic without looking, nearly hitting another car. Going over a couple of curbs there and back with my kids saying "Mum, watch out!" Flashing my engagement ring (gift) around to people I knew at the service, like an asshole. Closing one eye to read the hymnal. Seeing the flight of stairs up to the choir loft as too big a challenge to join my choir in singing The Messiah. Not remembering a lot of this until the phone calls the next day.

I have no interest in spending Christmas drunk this year, or any year, ever again.

[Accountable for Me]

Plans on being sober over christmas...

Gosh, the last two Christmas' I was sober. But the MANY before; Holy Shit!

The Memories are still there! And I am thankful they are!

Pride, I cannot tell you how many times I drove over curbs, with my kids in the car!

Booze is so over rated! Enjoy Christmas watching your children glow over gifts, etc.. Michelle, you can do this! It is the BEST ever! No regrets!!

[Brigitte Bardot]

Plans on being sober over christmas...

My plan is to just say "I gave it up..but thanks, you enjoy though!".

No more escapades for me, I'm going to enjoy this Christmas with only good memories, not drunken hungover ones.

[Chillgirl]

Plans on being sober over christmas...

Guys this will be my 1st ever sober Christmas!
Last year I knew I was going to quit in January so of course I really went for it...
I just received an invite today to a big Christmas Party I go to every year, last year I was carried home by some friends, this year Im going to be there with my head held high and remember every single sober second of it

[Pride before Fall]

Plans on being sober over christmas...

Guys this will be my 1st ever sober Christmas! >>

Me too! In 30 years, anyway. :thumbs:

[Doggygirl]

Plans on being sober over christmas...

Lil.Michelle, I'm glad you started this thread! It's not too early at all, IMO, to start planning for a sober holiday season. No doubt the temptations increase monumentally at this time of year. If we end up with 100 threads on this subject, it won't be too many!

Pride, your post brought back some cringe worthy memories. I've not been a regular church goer since I came "of age" where my Dad could no longer make me go. But church attendance was very important to him and to his Mother, so I would often put in the obligatory appearance on Christmas Eve. I used to think I hid my drunkeness so well. :H:H:H There are services I can't remember, others I can barely remember, many one eyed looks at the hymnal, etc. Thanks for reminding me that drinking on Christmas Eve was an embarrassing experience for me. I need to remember that sort of stuff CLEARLY.

For social events, here's what I do:

* DECIDE (not wish or hope) in advance that I will not drink AL.
* Decide in advance what I WILL drink.
* Eat before I go
* Show up fashionably late
* Eat while I am there.
* Have an early exit strategy, including transportation and an excuse, if needed.

I also like another suggestion I read on one of Choochie's thread. Get a sober friend to go with you. My husband is a non-drinking when he's with me, so he qualifies. I now have lots of friends in AA that I can invite to go places with me if Mr. Doggy isn't going.

WE CAN DO THIS.

DG

[Accountable for Me]

Plans on being sober over christmas...

Christmas Eve is the day that my family celebrates. It is because I am a product of divorced parents and my mother started this tradition.

It is going to be at my house this year. My sister sent me a text saying that all of the adults are not to buy gifts for one another and that we will get 'blasted' and eat instead. :H Um, not happening again for me this year. Someone has to kick the 'drunks' out once the family feuds start! :shocked: That is my job. And I take it seriously! :what?: There has been HUGE tension between mother and sister. My sister owes my mother over $30,000 for a house she walked away from when she left her husband over a year ago. Mom isn't happy. Seeing sister is now living on waterfront with her BF and not paying a penny. One would think she would start sending some money mom's way. Anyway........ someone has to be sober and do 'crowd' control!

This will be my 3rd Christmas sober. I am very proud of that! It is totally worth it!

[Guest]

Plans on being sober over christmas...

I don't have any plans for Christmas this year. Why?Because I'm back on day 2 and my plans only extend until the end of this 1 hour. I'm in no position to plan and don't want to right now. Only today matters, and then when I wake in the morning tomorrow. Don't give a stuff where I spend 25th December, as long as I'm sober and I'll make that decision when I'm fairly close to the day. Since my family are close by, and they don't drink(the only one who does doesn't in my company) if/when I go to their place I know there won't be any boozing going on, and that it's a fairly safe place. I can also leave whenever I want and get home within 15 minutes tops.

I might decide to go fell walking or something on that front, but I'll decide what's right when it gets to the time.

[hillsidetime]

Plans on being sober over christmas...

Hey lil.m, this is a great post. Pride, your honest input really put things in perspective for me. I aswell, have spent so many Christmas party's trashed, and in a fight with my wife. Drunk at family Christmas nights, behaviour I now regret.

lil.michelle, raises a point, that gave me so much mental trouble in my early days and weeks of going sober. What do I do in public. Social events. Holidays. These events where I used to drink so much, would be so different. I worried that people would center me out immediately. I felt like, my going sober was personal, and I did not want to talk about it at that time. I have given people so many reasons to talk about me, due to my drinking and the stupid things I have done, that when I went sober, I just wanted to be left alone. The Holiday's, and the culture of social drinking, and role alcohol played in them, caused me great anxiety.

I remember I survived a mens hockey tournament weekend. I used to drink before each game, after each game, all night etc at these events. I survived this weekend, when I was about one month sober. The days leading up to the event, I was so anxious. What I did was to say things like "not now thanks", "I am good for now thanks" etc. I did not tell anyone I had given up drinking for ever, and I have still not told the community of aquaintances that I have. I drank out of a hockey water bottle, like the other guys (who had beer in theirs), and I had water in mine. I didn't go to the parties at night. I had a great time, and survived.

Only my family and close friends know that I am no longer drinking. Still, I had great anxiety for the first few family meals, where I was not drinking and everyone else was. I was so stressed about how awkward it would be etc, I just wanted to dig a hole and burry myself. I struggled through those meals, and moments, and now it is not a big deal. But is was not fun. But it was something I had to do.

lil.M., I so understand the stress that you speak of. This is my first Holiday Season sober, and I am also anticipating a lot of urges. It is amazing, how many times one will be offered alcohol in those few weeks. If anyone is really worried, write down your goals. Put them in your pocket. If need be, read them in the privacy of a washroom etc. Read the words "I don't want to drink", read the reasons why. Urge surf, the urges that will come. You can do it.


Hill

[mollyka]

Plans on being sober over christmas...

A few points in this thread that I find very interesting. I agree Hills about the no. of times alcohol 'appears' at this time of year, also the casual way it implicates itself into life, for instance I remember last christmas a virtually non-drinking colleague at work came back from lunch and said she had had 2 glasses of wine with lunch and then worked all afternoon. Now, back in the day no better woman than me to do that, but it was the casualness of the alcohol consumption that wouldn't happen at any other time of year.
I liked DG's point
* DECIDE (not wish or hope) in advance that I will not drink AL.
That is the key to all this the 100% factor no 'little out'.
I have never had a disastrous drunk christmas, drunk yes just not disastrous but I think I slept through an awful lot of them on the couch - never ever again - I loved last year sober and I'm truly looking forward to this one sober as well
Molly

[Choochie]

Plans on being sober over christmas...

Chillgirl;1006531 wrote: Guys this will be my 1st ever sober Christmas!
Last year I knew I was going to quit in January so of course I really went for it...
I just received an invite today to a big Christmas Party I go to every year, last year I was carried home by some friends, this year Im going to be there with my head held high and remember every single sober second of it

Chill, my bet is that you will be envied - maybe not overtly but secretly. I think so many people want to stop but don't have a clue how to get started.

Pride - your experience should definitely be incentive - I know you don't want to relive that!

BB - that's what I'll do. I plan to be proud of the fact that I don't drink any more (cuz I really am feckin bursting with a sense of accomplishment).

DG - excellent tips.

Hill I think your "writing down" suggestion is invaluable. I think I'll have to do that for sure. Even though I feel secure sitting at my computer, I know that might not be the case in the actual setting. Social situations like you've described are really intimidating to me. I plan to avoid as many as I can.

AFM - I don't envy the family situation you're facing - but am impressed with your attitude! It would be hard not to resent the sister that owes your mom money..........and lives on the waterfront...........

UKB - aren't you lucky that your family doesn't drink - except for the one. I'm like you in that Christmas isn't a big holiday for me - so commercialized. And, most of my family is gone so hubs and I spend it quietly together most of the time.

Molly I can remember a time when people here used to drink regularly at lunch. Now you don't see it often. So, maybe people are getting a bit smarter?? But, yea, there does seem to be license at this time of year!

Anyway, enough of my rambling - have to go do something productive.

Hugs to all,

Choochie:l

[choice]

Plans on being sober over christmas...

I am very excited to have my first sober holiday season. I use to get drunk on Thanksgiving every now and then and I won't be celebrating that this year as I'm not in the US. I'm sad to be far away from home and family for that day but this year it's okay for this reason alone. I haven't had too many intoxicated Christmases with the exception of work Christmas parties. I'm unemployed at the moment so no pressure there. And Christmas day will be at my fiance's parents house. Last year, I only had a few glasses of wine (believe me this was torture, my drinking at this stage last year had progressed and it was practically impossible for me to stop once I started. To be honest I could have skipped the glass and just chugged wine from the bottle.) I drank slow because I've always felt strange drinking around children and he has nieces and nephews. The BIG HUGE sober holiday will be NEW YEARS. This holiday I have always been in true form with no limit to how much I'd consume and felt free license with my behavior as well. I have injured myself almost annually for 20 years from terrible falls, cuts, bruises, welts, concussion, unprotected sex with friends that ended friendships, making my sister angry, throwing chairs, jumping off a balcony. That night I am a ware wolf howling at the moon no more! It looked bad enough in my teens now at 37?? really NOT ATTRACTIVE!!! :h

[gyco]

Plans on being sober over christmas...

hi lil M and the rest som good strategy,i can actually say ive had many Al free chritmas s,watched well everyone else got oblivorated,many times it it was funny and sad to watch,people who would go from being and inteligent human being,to a babbling idiet, i think the best thing is i can come here,and theres people that actually try to fix the problem,whether they totally stop or moderate,were all very special people,it seems we never sop trying,gyco neat ehhhhhhhhh hahaaha