Alcoholic or mid life crisis

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Honestly a drink is the last thing you need Softy. Things seldom turn out as bad as we fear in my experience. Why not start a conversation about your wife and family in the early part of the journey tomorrow? No man who is planning to stray would be likely to do that and it may mark her card and keep you on the straight and narrow. Just a thought.

[Sunnyvalenting]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

FG, softy,
It is very unusual to be able to become a comfortable "social" drinker once you have crossed the line into alcohol abuse such as you each have described. It is the nature of this vulnerability that once the executive function is even mildly inhibited the addictive brain runs riot and ups the ante until the booze is gone or we pass out or are driven home! I tried on the long term moderator's group to get a sense of how many are able to accomplish this and the response was pretty low. Good luck on your journey.
Softy, some of the unhappiness you are experiencing may be due to symptoms of alcohol withdrawal. While many of us started drinking to feel better we continued to drink because we felt bad when we stopped. Just a thought. It is hard to know until you do stop for several months.
Sunny

[Choochie]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Good advice here Softy - I hope you can stick with sobriety - you won't regret it if you can get some time under your belt. A lot of the problems you're experiencing will right themselves if you can stay sober. Your ability to deal with them will change and you'll begin to see things clearly.

Good luck,
Choochie

[Softy]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Today would have been a real disaster if it were a day one but with it being day three I coped well and the difference was tangible. There are still issues but I was able to keep the emotions under control. I need to keep this up. The support of having this site as a tool to give me strength at this time of day when I would normally get hammered is immense

[Samantha T.]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Great job, Softy!! There is great power in each success and they all build on one another
keep up the good work!

Sending you strength and resolve...

[Doggygirl]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Softy;1008959 wrote: FG it has hit me at a similar age to you that I am not happy despite having everything I want (house nice wife two dogs car good job etc) so there must be something deeper making me want to be drunk every night, I need to find out what is missing.

Hi Softy. Just wanted to add that I too always thought I was drinking in response to my problems / unhappiness. What I have discovered since sobering up is that alcohol was CAUSING most of the trouble. I feel fortunate that the suicidal depression that left me feeling totally hopeless (despite a good job, husband, home, etc.) lifted once I sobered up. There are some people that still seem to have issues with anxity and/or depression even after they stop drinking. But many of us seem to recover from the depression once we begin to recover from the alcohol. The good news is that whichever way it goes for you, the reality will become clear once you are AF for a while. (either you will need treatment for REAL depression, or you will find it was alcohol induced depression)

I have had to work at figuring out how to live my life sober. I was a daily drinker and "lived" for the moment each day when the drinking could begin. I drank through everything. And did a whole lot of nothing while drinking in the later years. Learning to live without AL has taken work, but it's been worth every bit of the difficulty to get where I am today. I hope it works that way for you too.

Strength and hope,

DG

[Softy]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Sorry all I failed and let you down. Day four I got home from work at 645pm and felt so so low I couldnt eat Determined to not drink I wen to bed at 745pm missing a gig that I had already paid for. So far so good until today day 5. Payday. I offered to take my team to the pub just to be an hour longer with her. Ended up having two pints. Stopped for a bootle of red on the way home which is sitting looking at me. It is going to go down. I am a miserable failure and deserve all the misery it puts me through. My life has no present no future just a slow drunken crawl to my final six foot long wooden box. I see no point in anything. I wont post again as this site is for people with a bit of courage who have the ability to fight. Mine has gone and I am going nowhere good. Thanks for trying to help this week and good luck to you all in the future.

[JackieClaire]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Oh no you don't Softy go disappearing.
You have let no-one down.
This is the beginning of your journey and if we can help we will.
Stay here and post and post.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Softy get your arse back here asap, if this was easy we wouldnt have MWO or AA or rehab or.....
You have done really well even though it may not appear so to you right now. Ok you have written tonight off, but in my experience the real crux is not to use this as an excuse tomorrow, cause its Friday and just go off on one, just speaking from 'been there, done that'. Think about it, you are worth so much more than that.

[sapphire1]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Softy before you disappear into the neva neva misery of the bottle again, please re-read your posts. In them you will find the reasons for starting this journey and the progress you are making. So you have had a drink....so what!!! As Ktab says it isnt easy, otherwise we wouldnt need each other etc. I have fallen off the wagon so many times, I stopped counting. But each time, I have reflected back and learned a little bit more about myself and my addiction. Its like having a giant jig-saw puzzle and starting to fill it in with all the right pieces..at times the pieces wont fit, but you still keeping trying to find the right ones. Life is complex, it is tough, it is worth fighting for...you are worth fighting for. We all feel like low-lifes when we have given in to the whispers that the bastard AL gives us. But you know what, thats the nature of the beast..to make us feel worthless. Please stay on the boards, read if you dont feel like posting...this setback is not the end of the world. Strength and grace Saffxx

[Sunnyvalenting]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Softy,
Most people who eventually quit this addiction have many failures on their way to success. Dust yourself off and learn what you can from it. I believe most of us, at some time, have felt as bad as you likely do now. Let it be your motivation for yet another honest try. None of us are particularly courageous. We all just finally were able to act in our own best interests. Your bad feeling will pass in time. You deserve better. Don't wallow.
I once a few years back told my son I might not succeed but I wouldn't give up. I "failed" several more times before finding the right treatment in January this year. Oh what a difference it makes being on this side.
Best of luck to you. HOpe you are at least reading these posts.
Sunny

[Softy]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Head is caved but will try tomorrow when sober Sorry all I know I have let myself down I don't really know anyone here but you have all been kind inspiring me Let's do this

[JackieClaire]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Softy,
I so glad you decided to come back. So well today is a right off. Now we'll have to get a plan together for the weekend. Nothing huge, just doable. Minute by minute, hour by hour if necessary. It can be done.

[Choochie]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Softy - glad you're back. :l

[mollyka]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Good on you coming back Softy - now get a good nights sleep and come back here tomorrow and deffo there'll be a plan for you - don't worry too much, very few get this right first time, the trick is to learn from our mistakes
Night night
Molly:l