Alcoholic or mid life crisis

[Softy]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Sorry all been in hell the last two weeks and still there - I have been dipping into mwo but am not strong enough to resist the temptations and the drink is propelling me to the dark end. Back to the song titles there was a song called That woman's got me drinking. Well it's not her fault. I am heading into the abyss. Still boozing. Still hiding bottles. Have now arranged a business trip with her so we can stay over night alone next week. Think she is as scared as me as I am her boss she can't say no. Still haven't made a move but can see me in the barrel heading to niagara falls. Oh bollocks....if drink don't take me first.........

[mama bear]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Softy...have not met you yet, but STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are risking your job with this woman. Can you afford that??
You could end up in a lawsuit since you are her boss.
Please stop sweetie and think HARD about what you are doing.....

[Sunnyvalenting]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Softy,
Ditto to MAMA,
Obsession is NOT the same as Love.
this can go nowhere good and you already KNOW that.
So what if she succumbs to your "charms". You won't ever know why since you are her boss. Why pursue someone you cay cannot say no? What is the value in that for either of you. You deserve better. You are married, right? Why would your put your whole life and everyone else's in such jepordy. Cancel the meeting, get straight with yourself and focus on doing the right thing.
Good luck
Sunny

[Sunnyvalenting]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

someone who cannot say no

[Softy]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

With a clearer head (although hungover - again:boohoo I can see this madness unfolding in front of me. I still have a chance to gain control. Start today I will be 4 days clean by Wednesday. With straight head I will be professional not obsessional. Keep a distance between us and fight this all the way. You are right - I have too much to lose.

[madmans]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

softy when we drink we do not think straight . and from everthing you have said your not thinking straight , you have to bite the bullet here .keep sober today , just worry about today now , tomorrow is tomorrow. If not you could make one big mistake that will really leave you with nothing

[Pride before Fall]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

I can see this madness unfolding in front of me. >>

It's not in front of you Softy; you're in it.

If this woman's afraid of you because you're abusing your superior position, your employer already has grounds for dismissal for sexual harassment, and you've set yourself up for additional criminal charges. There is nothing even vaguely romantic in what you describe, only pathos and delusion. You're using this woman (and your family) as tools in your chosen path of self-destruction. You can choose to stay on that path, but you don't have the right to take others down with you. You also can choose to get professional help both for your alcoholism and your obsessional behavior.

First law of holes: when you're in one, stop digging. If you arranged this trip for Wednesday, you can un-arrange it.

As Sunny said, it's time to get straight with yourself, with help as needed and widely available.

Pride

[Softy]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Still struggling

Hello all Over a month since I posted and life is still no better but I took everyones advice here and saved my marriage. Still drinking heavy though. Thick head this morning and have to drive to a meeting. Turns out my little friend has been playing me for a fool (which I guess I knew all along) It still hurts like hell though. When you fall for someone and open up your heart you expect either it will be returned or used against you at some point. I have retained most my dignity to a point but the price has been the amount I am drinking and the related depression. Hurting and drinking and with nobody to turn to makes you feel like a worthless piece of crud. Sorry all may just be morning after blues but I am bottling so much up I feel like going to the madhouse going to stay af today odat

[madmans]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Hi Softy its good to see you back, everything will improve so much in your life when you are AF, EVERYTHING . the first few days are hard but you have so much to gain and nothing to lose. you know if you keep going on this path how things will turn out. and things will get better soon not in years like i used to think

[Softy]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Two weeks later

And AF for a fortnight - and things are starting to play out as the end game of all this madness unfolds in work. I have come out of this damaged to an extent but I dare to think how bad it would have got if I hadn't taken a hold of myself a couple of weeks ago. I have been able to implement a face saving strategy and maintain some respect from my peers but only just. I have had to eat humble pie. Drink got me in this mess. I am writing this so I have a record of the conclusion of this episode documented to refer back to should I ever find myself heading down this road again.

[Softy]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

At this juncture I thought it vital to go back to this thread and review how shitty my life was. It still is although without the booze. It would be so tempting to run and hide in the booze at this moment but someone once said that if I drink, then instead of having my problems to deal with I would have the same problems to deal with plus a drink problem to go with it. In the words of the mighty Flaming Lips....

I'm a man
Not a boy
And there are things
You can't avoid
You have to face them
When you're not prepared
To face them

this rings true for me, life in your mid years just seems to be problem after problem and sadness and upset without an end. Why is life so shit.

[Softy]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

One year ago

I posted this a year ago. Twelve months on I have lost my mother, kept my job, gone three months earlier in the year without booze. I am finishing the year drinking again, feeling unhealthy and out of control. I don't feel ready either to try and help myself. I just feel like this is my destiny and its not something I can stop. I need to lose weight, get rid of liver, kidney and pancreatic pains. I feel twinges in my chest and my heart feels tired. 44 years old and living like an old man due to booze. I am not posting this for sympathy. It's my problem. Nobody pours the damn stuff down my neck. I am not posting this for advice or support. I have abused the good nature of the fine people here too often. I am not receptive to it at the moment anyway. Maybe I am gearing up to help myself that's why I looked at the site.out of curiosity I searched to see what day it was last year that I first posted. I had a feeling it was late November. It is a coincidence (maybe an omen) that it was the same day last year. Anyways, people who need help often deny that they want it or are looking for it. I guess the fact that's am here at all today tells me what I need to know. Time for a think and do without a drink

[Struggles 106]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Welcome Softy

It is very nice to get it out isn't it? You have
arrived at a good place. Lots of support here
from people with very similar stories.
I have some humdingers myself and something
finally clicked.
I agree with everyone else-you have to get
your head straightened out before you can deal
with anything else. Without alcohol you would
possibly make different decisions.
Take care and good luck!

[FreeFly]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Hello Softy, I'm sorry to hear you're sounding so sad and especially the loss of your mother. I can empathise on that one. Take one day at a time, as the saying goes. You've found yourself here for a reason. Try not to be hard on yourself and keep posting. Lots of folk here to help you. It's not your destiny if you don't want it to be. Hang in there and hang out here :l

[Doggygirl]

Alcoholic or mid life crisis

Softy;1212711 wrote: I posted this a year ago. Twelve months on I have lost my mother, kept my job, gone three months earlier in the year without booze. I am finishing the year drinking again, feeling unhealthy and out of control. I don't feel ready either to try and help myself. I just feel like this is my destiny and its not something I can stop. I need to lose weight, get rid of liver, kidney and pancreatic pains. I feel twinges in my chest and my heart feels tired. 44 years old and living like an old man due to booze. I am not posting this for sympathy. It's my problem. Nobody pours the damn stuff down my neck. I am not posting this for advice or support. I have abused the good nature of the fine people here too often. I am not receptive to it at the moment anyway. Maybe I am gearing up to help myself that's why I looked at the site.out of curiosity I searched to see what day it was last year that I first posted. I had a feeling it was late November. It is a coincidence (maybe an omen) that it was the same day last year. Anyways, people who need help often deny that they want it or are looking for it. I guess the fact that's am here at all today tells me what I need to know. Time for a think and do without a drink

Whenever you are ready for help and support, we will all be here. :l We alkies gotta stick together! I'm sorry things aren't going so well right now. As you said in one of your mid-year posts, we can have our problems, or we can have our problems and a drinking problem to go with it. You know what you gotta do. We are here to help you do it.

DG