AAArrrrghhh

[K9Lover]

AAArrrrghhh

Thanks Doggy, it's really true that the only one we need to think about is the "first" one. Gosh, I was so happy and content when I wasn't drinking, why would I intentionally do that to myself....start the misery all over again?
Something is apparently missing that I'm trying to cover up with alcohol, I just need to figure out what it is. If only it were that easy. I tried therapy when I first quit, but the truth is that I just didn't have that much to talk about. Weird.

[Miss Behaving]

AAArrrrghhh

Snap!! I'm now trying journal writing, although I've never really been into that either. Sometimes I wish that I could discover a long forgotten past trauma that would explain all of this for me :H:H

In the mean time, what I do have influence over is my own behaviour

[K9Lover]

AAArrrrghhh

I am going to take my Antabuse at 3pm today, it should be fine by then.

I used to take it everyday at 3, because that's when my thoughts usually turn to what I'll drink, where I'll buy it and how much I'll need. Sick thinking!

[K9Lover]

AAArrrrghhh

Miss Behaving;1011200 wrote: Snap!! I'm now trying journal writing, although I've never really been into that either. Sometimes I wish that I could discover a long forgotten past trauma that would explain all of this for me :H:H

In the mean time, what I do have influence over is my own behaviour

LOL MB - long forgotten trauma! I feel like that too sometimes...like there HAS to be a reason behind all of this, but I just can't figure out what it is. Maybe I should start a journal...if nothing else it will be so boring I can read it at night to put myself to sleep.

[Miss Behaving]

AAArrrrghhh

That's a good decision K9 ..... onwards to a sober December!!:l

[K9Lover]

AAArrrrghhh

I cant even describe the relief I feel in just "talking" to you guys. I think I'll recount my sober days on my calendar again, just to remind myself that I CAN do this!

[Wagoneer]

AAArrrrghhh

So sorry to hear this K9. You are in my thoughts.

[mama bear]

AAArrrrghhh

Yep, Doggy, it's that first one....so simple yet so freakin hard. Hey K9..why dont you start a journal here?? Just a thought.....several people have done it and seem to have gotten alot out of it. I know I just blab my guts out to my family at the Ass in Gear thread.....

[mama bear]

AAArrrrghhh

You can do this girl. You have kicked ass before and you will do it again. Or I'll come out there and do it for you!!!!

[mama bear]

AAArrrrghhh

OK...this is what we are gonna do...Chill just said something on another thread that rang true with me...
let's stay sober till Christmas and that will be the best present we can ourselves. I like that!!! And since I am unemployed, i like it even better....cause it's FREE!!

[Guest]

AAArrrrghhh

You are so right about the first drink. I keep/kept thinking I would be ok if I only got drunk for one evening. That was ok on a couple of occasions, then came the time when I woke the next morning and carried on thinking "Sod it I've buggered today already, may as well carry on".

[K9Lover]

AAArrrrghhh

I'm with you Mama! Sober until Christmas...and beyond.

[mama bear]

AAArrrrghhh

OK girl...its on.....

[Choochie]

AAArrrrghhh

Sorry, K9 - I know everyone here is really pulling for you. Hope you can get a good plan in place - obviously you know how to rack up some AF days woman!! In case you missed it on the General Discussion thread, thought I would post this link for you. It's a really good article that explains the different phases of recovery:


Start Here: The Creative Theory of Recovery Explained

:lChoochie

[mollyka]

AAArrrrghhh

Hi K9, sorry you are having a rough time. I know I have had 2-3 major relapses since I started trying to be sober back in March last year, each time I drank it was harder and harder to get sober again. There is no point in casually saying 'get back on the wagon' - of course that's what you should/must do, but I think to be aware that it is hard is a good thing, to be prepared for a tough first week and the fact that alcohol has been back in your system it will take some time to rid the cravings - but of course you can do it, you must do it. It is a pain in the backside being an alkie, I'd love not to be one, but we are- and the one thing that we must not do is drink, and like DG says - it is the first drink, after that (me anyhows) there is no control, no choice, but noone puts that first drink to our mouths but ourselves. this time last year I took antabuse for a few weeks, it really does kick start us as you well know, get back on it as soon as you can, if you let this drift any further you'll be into Christmas, aim to have a lovely sober christmas for you and your daughter:l:l
Molly