I blew it on day 5

[Charlotte's Web]

Gosh, I feel like crap. I went out last night and despite all my plans and good intentions, I had two glasses of wine. Then I bought a bottle on the way home and drunk that through the evening.

I ended up vomitting last night. It's now 5.10 am and I have a huge headache, still feel sick and can't get back to sleep.

This is a big wake up call.....this is why I shouldn't drink.

I've had so many supportive comments from you all this week and now I feel like a complete loser.

[madmans]

I blew it on day 5

dont feel like a loser . this is hard to do! but start again, dont drink tonight. ODAT. come here if you get tempted

[mama bear]

I blew it on day 5

You are not a loser. You are learning, like we all are. Now remember how shitty you feel......
Hugs and strength

[K9Lover]

I blew it on day 5

Charolette,
You are NOT a loser, you have a problem with alcohol....like all of us here do! I am speaking from experience when I say that a relapse is a big blow to our self esteem. I'm coming off of 6 days of getting drunk every night, and doing really, really, really stupid and dangerous things. The anxiety is getting to me right now. Just be thankful you woke up in your own home with no permanent damage done. Now....lets start this over okay? I'm here for you!

[Hypernova]

I blew it on day 5

Not to worry. People were rallying around to edify you in your quest for freedom that you apparently want. They are still there and just as supportive. This is not a one day battle. It's a war that is won in little victories daily. Be discouraged if you must. I think you can find a more positive way to use the energy. Discouragement infers a force trying to stop you from achieving something. So look at how you are feeling today after your foray. Concentrate on how ill you feel physically and rationalize to yourself if this is what you want. Step forward and count your steps. Don't look back but remember your experiences and avoid your mistakes going forward. Write up a plan and amend it as you go along. I support you in your endeavor and urge you to be positive. ~~~


" Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much."
Helen Keller

I suppose that's why we are all here... so take heart CW, together we can

[Doggygirl]

I blew it on day 5

CW, the important thing IMO is to get right back on the wagon, and figure out what went wrong. For me, in my early sobriety I just couldn't go places and be with people around drinking. Not easy, but to me those sacrifices were worth making. There were a lot of holiday parties and family things that I missed. (Don't know if that's how you ended up around wine..) The way I figure it, I missed a lot of that stuff when I was drinking too. I would get too drunk to go, or not WANT to go to things because I wanted to stay home and drink "my way." Much better to miss things now and stay sober.

At any rate, I encourage you to evaluate what happened and change your game plan accordingly.

DG

[Choochie]

I blew it on day 5

Charlotte, here are some safety net ideas for when you go out into a situation that might trigger you:

Take index cards where you have written the reasons you can't drink down - pull them out - excuse yourself, go outside, to the restroom, (wherever) and read the cards.

Call someone - do you have anyone you can call to talk you through not drinking?

Just some thoughts - don't despair. Amend your plan and come back aboard. Oh, by the way, I did what DG describes - I am committed to staying home A LOT until I get months of sober time.

:lChoochie

[JackieClaire]

I blew it on day 5

Oh Charlotte,
Not a loser at all. Start this journey again and learn from your past mistakes. I was a virtual hermit for my first 30 days and then slowly started to pick up on social outings. It does get easier with time but if I feel a slight wobble coming on I will plan ahead, my favourite being the arrive late.......leave early strategy.

[Softy]

I blew it on day 5

It's you and me against the booze kid. I caved day five as well and am now bladdered day six with a new bottle of malt in front of me We can do this I will hide the bottle and give it to someone for Xmas if you promise me to be on day one tomorrow

[fighting back]

I blew it on day 5

CW, sorry you feel rotten. I was almost two weeks AL free and ruined it three weeks ago, so I know how you feel.

My advice (and I can't believe I am actually giving advice!) is to remember how bad you felt at 5am, commit it, (all of it!) to your memory and add it to your toolkit.

The next time you think you can drink, taste that vomit in the back of your throat, feel that horrible pounding in your head and the shivers in your body.

We are all at different stages, and you are posting and reading here and trying. Arm yourself with as much as you can.

I hope you feel better. :l

[Dewdrop]

I blew it on day 5

Charlotte,

Okay you've made a mistake but the important thing is to learn from it, move on and make sure it doesn't happen again ie be aware of the trigger.

Rome wasn't built in a day as they say and don't be too hard on yourself.

Dewdrop :h

[getterbetter]

I blew it on day 5

Such great support here.

Thanks for giving me the gumption to post. I was in a similar state yesterday and more nights after work than I care to admit. But it looks like there are several of us with a new agenda. Here we can begin to live sober. As I saw on another post, it's more than just not drinking. I have a lot of changes to make, and they are all positive! Again thanks to all. :thanks:

[Wagoneer]

I blew it on day 5

Charlotte....I was in your shoes many a time until recenly (26 days ago) but until that day, I was just not committed enough. I didn't feel shitty enough. I didn't realize what all this wine was doing to my psyche and my bod. Something just snapped and I did not want to drink anymore. Alot of people say don't beat yourself up about it, but in my case that is exactly what I needed to do after I would wake up wth a stinger of a wine hangover. I realized that is is NOT okay to do these things to myself and my family. I AM doing the wrong thing and not taking responsibility for something that is obviously screwing up my life. Dust yourself off and take a good look at what you really really want. You stopped before and you CAN do this. You really can. And we are here for you. Like I have said a million times...we are ALL one drink away from day one my friend. It's hard and it sucks alot of the time and you have to change everything and PLAN EVERYTHING. Especially around the holidays. Keep reading and posting. It helps. Sending positive thoughts to you.

[gyco]

I blew it on day 5

hi C.no one ever blows it,we forget at times were only HUMAN,i read what the dog lady said,and others,you realise crap has happened,in one way or another,people here inspire each other,again in one way or another,there is so much xperience here,we make the outside world feel intimidated,hahaha,as you mature in this sobriety thing,you will understand were all here for you,no matter what gykes hahahaha

[Wally22]

I blew it on day 5

Hey Charlotte, you are losing your desire to drink. You have one more reason now to quit. I can't ever have a drink. One drink leads to a bottle, which leads to a binge.
You can have fun without drinking but it takes a while to educate everyone that you don't drink anymore.
I would drink responsibly in public then go home and dive into a bottle. I have been taking antabuse for 4 months now and I LOVE it. No will power, no second guessing, no choice.