I'm new here and have been jumping from thread to thread, forum to forum. It's sorta fun getting used to doing that.
I've been drinking on and off (mostly on) since I was 21. I'm now almost 55 and after my daughter stopped talking to me for a week and telling my husband she was embarrassed to bring her friends over, I finally figured it out that I need to really quit. I quit October 13th.
I've been to inpatient and outpatient places. I've gone to AA. Nothing seemed to work. Apparently I can't do this for myself, mostly because I don't feel worthy of getting well. I drank at first because it relieved my anxiety. Then it became because I wanted to. And woe the person who tried to stop me. But for my daughter, I think I can do it. I'll do anything for her....anything! I'm even using her name here to remind me of what I need to do.
I'm having bloodwork done (twice) and am having a sonogram to check for cirrohsis of the liver. What a shock, huh? Having the sonogram on Monday. I guess I'll find out then what's really going on. But it sure has scared me. YIKES!
I found this by accident, as a lot of people have, when I was looking up Campral. What a great site this is! I've ordered the book and it should be here Tuesday.
I need to get something going here. We are going to visit my in-laws for Thanksgiving and they are the most anxious alchoholics I've ever met. They start drinking, when they are not working, as soon as they wake up. It's hard to not be drinking when I'm around them.
So I'm going to buy the CDs and also the Social Setting one to help with the great wonderful visit. I don't know if the CDs have words or just music. I fall asleep to a lot of things that have talking. I'm guessing if it's music, I can listen to that while I'm asleep.
I really some help because going to see the in-laws really scares me. It'll be very hard not to drink. They would almost drive a non-drinker to drink. They're nice people, but......... I really need help because I don't want to die and miss my daughter finishing high school, hopefully going to college, just living her life.
Today I'm really in a bad mood. I'm PMSing (sorry men), and I hardly ever do that. I guess it's because I'm not drinking anymore that I can actually feel it.
Okay, that's enough about me, for now. Thanks for reading all this.
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