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I want my life back

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    #1

    I want my life back

    Today is day 1 again. A few months ago I quit for 10 days. They were the most productive 10 days I've had in a very long time so why did I start again. It was actually after having a glass of wine with friends. I later bought a bottle and hey bingo, I was back to stage 1. This indicates to me that I can't drink at all.

    I'm going to do out a list of why I need to stop, apart from the obvious reasons. I'm not sure how I got to this point in life. It makes me cry buckets. It's like everyone I once knew have moved on in life but mine is on pause or something. I've had a lot of sadness over the years but who hasn't. I had a terrible relationship a few years ago. I had moved country to be with that person and they completely ripped me off, then cheated on me. I stayed strong during the time I needed to. I had to move back, find a job, find a home. Did all that AF. Then as soon as I was sorted I took to the bottle. As if I had been handed a reason to drink. I felt I deserved to drink myself stupid because I was hurting. However, now I'm really really hurting and I'm doing it to myself.

    I'm going to keep a journal this time, record all the positive things I do each day that I wouldn't have done if I'd been drinking.
    All tips and advice welcome. I'm so determined this time.
    Tags: None
    #2
    I want my life back

    :welcome: back Juley,

    I got to the point that I wanted my life back more than a glass ( make that a bottle ) of wine. I would think I was doing great having a couple when I was out but keeping one eye on the clock in case I missed the off licence on the way home.

    But it can be done. Don't know if you've read through the tool box but have a click on the link below. The best one I found was urge surfing.

    Wishing you the best,Juley because getting and staying sober has been the best thing I have ever done in my life.

    J x
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

    Comment

      #3
      I want my life back

      Hi there,

      I can't have a simple glass of wine anymore. For me, it's all or nothing. And because of all the negative aspects of me drinking, I choose nothing.
      You've come to a great place for support.
      Are you planning on going Alcohol Free (AF)?

      Comment

        #4
        I want my life back

        Thanks JackieClaire. Like you, I always have one eye on the clock to ensure I don't miss the off license. I have actually made excuses to leave friends earlier because I know I have no drink at home and need to get some before I can't. Ridiculous when I put it down in writing.

        Brigitte, yes AF.. I have no choice. Wrong side of xmas to be trying but no time is a good time. I won't make excuses.

        Comment

          #5
          I want my life back

          It will make it harder this time of year to quit, but I keep thinking of all the embaressing situations I'll put myself in and that always helps. There is a daily AF thread in the Abs section which always helps me, lots of friendly people all with a common goal to be AF. You're more then welcome to join.

          Comment

            #6
            I want my life back

            Hi juley and welcome to mwo,keep reading & posting here as you will get invaluable help from people who know what your going through,make yourself a plan especially for your witching hours and maybe get some supplements, good luck hope to see you around :-)


            :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

            Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
            I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

            This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

            Comment

              #7
              I want my life back

              Juley;1012114 wrote: Thanks JackieClaire. Like you, I always have one eye on the clock to ensure I don't miss the off license. I have actually made excuses to leave friends earlier because I know I have no drink at home and need to get some before I can't. Ridiculous when I put it down in writing.

              Brigitte, yes AF.. I have no choice. Wrong side of xmas to be trying but no time is a good time. I won't make excuses.
              Hi Juley, welcome back. I can see by your comment about christmas how easy it is to slip into a certain way of thinking. I call it foggy brain because personally I cant see the wood for the trees sometimes. It takes some AF time and the fog starts to lift, it really is a different world sober and I do wish for you that you can find your way out. Plenty of support, advice and helping hands here but 100% commitment is needed.
              Keep safe
              KTAB
              Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

              Comment

                #8
                I want my life back

                :welcome:Juley - lots of good advice here already for you. Just wanted to make sure you have a link to the tool box - didn't see that Jackie's actually posted -

                https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

                There is so much information available - you'll have to take the time to search around the different threads, but it's all here. Post your questions and be sure to lay out a sobriety plan (samples in tool box) for yourself. As KTAB says, it takes 100% commitment, but there are a lot of people here abstaining successfully.

                Best to you,
                Choochie

                Comment

                  #9
                  I want my life back

                  Just want to say hi Juley, its allways possible to reclaim your life back, do'nt ever give up hope, keep posting and reading i find it a great help.
                  AF 5/jan/2011

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I want my life back

                    Juley;1012114 wrote: I have actually made excuses to leave friends earlier because I know I have no drink at home and need to get some before I can't.
                    This was me too! Of course, this was after I'd already drank all the booze in sight at their house, and I needed to stop off at the liquor store on my way home before they closed, because I knew I was going to need more.

                    Welcome back to MWO, looking forward to seeing your progress!

                    -Moglor

                    Comment

                      #11
                      I want my life back

                      Hi Juley

                      I too am going to keep a journal and record all the positive things I have achieved that I wouldn't have done if I had been drinking.
                      Thanks for replying to me, you really helped me today, so please add that to your list.:l
                      You be strong too.:l

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