I have to quit

[_EndOfTheLine_]

This will kill me if I don?t quit. I am experiencing quite worrying medical side effects. Today was by far the worst- I noticed blood in my stools. This is not a good sign, and may be a wakeup call. I hate drinking so much. I have to quit. Its always ?I?ll quit next week? ?I?ll quit after Christmas? ?I?ll quit after the holidays?. Fuck. I?ve been trying this for years. Got so drunk last night on hard liquor- today I bleed and am in pain. How do you do this? Please, I need to hear from someone with longterm success.

[mario]

I have to quit

Hi endofthe line and welcome to mwo, read and post,post and read, you are not alone and we can all relate to what you are/were/will go through,This obviously isn’t going to change over night. And realistically, You will need to replace all that drinking with other activities, which means you need to set yourself some achievable goals.
The same goes for your feelings, learning how you can cope with difficult feelings without alcohol will take some time. Alcohol has been your way of dealing with everything difficult in your life, so you are going to have to find some other ways to cope, basically.
You should regularly review what is working and what’s not, what things are still tripping you up and most importantly, what benefits you are seeing. Remind yourself of your original reasons for wanting to stop drinking alcohol. There is a tool box thread here in monthly moderation thread, take a look in there and remember to give yourself a chance,

[Brigitte Bardot]

I have to quit

Mario has just provided some great advice. It takes hard work, committment and a real desire to quit. You sound like you've reached that point.
Read here and post, it does help as this is a great community.
All the best,

[_EndOfTheLine_]

I have to quit

mario;1012167 wrote: .... take a look in there and remember to give yourself a chance,

Thanks for your replies and support Mario & Brigitte Bardot . What do you mean by "give yourself a chance"? I get the feeling that you are touching on something important there.
My big problem is, as soon as begin to feel better, I'm like "why not just keep drinking, its easier". This is compounded by the fact that I have been on TSM for 4 months and there is that nagging doubt that the cure is round the corner. I want it over now, before my organs pack in.

[mama bear]

I have to quit

there is no "NOW" cure....Lord I wish there was.....

[tlrgs]

I have to quit

WELCOME just do your best .read and post any and all of your questions and talk to your doc go get checkout and make sure you start taking care of yourself ,eat right and do what ever....is out there, AA MEETINGS ,smart meettings, come to chat at night ...talk about it ..post about what you are going thur and write down the pro's and con's.. and come up with a plan ...its all about changing your habits and little by litele you will get where you want to be in life ...

[mario]

I have to quit

Sometimes people who stop drinking think all the benefits of a great life and good mental and physical body just happens once you stop, wish it was as simple,Most people have been drinking for a long time, years & years, obviously your body will react to any sudden changes so you can expect uncomfortable withdrawals,imo there are no magic cures for stopping drinking that's wishful thinking, you yourself have to really want to stop above anything else in this time of your life, get a plan,go to AA ,post your progress here you will get tons of support, :-)

[lil.michelle]

I have to quit

We do this with willpower, stregth, determination, sweat and tears. Get rid of the drink, get real and tough with yourself, make no excuses, stay away from anywhere that sells al, people who drink al. Try changing your routine and keep busy. It's hard but worth it hunni. Post, talk, be truthful about how youre feeling, prepare for lots of cravings, al thoughts ect ect... no matter what you head says, np matter what reasons or excuses it'll come up with, do not drink that liquid!

[Choochie]

I have to quit

EotL - I am not a long termer, but am chalking up some time. I'm posting something I posted yesterday for Jenny, who is also just starting out. Hope it will help you.

Jenny, I think there are people here who better understand the crazy chemistry of why people have a hard time at different stages. I just know that the first couple of weeks was super hard for me, then it got a little easier. I would say after about 45 days I had no more cravings and had moved away from needing sugar. Here are the things that I think were helpful for me at the beginning:

First, I wrote a really lengthy letter to myself, actually mailed it to myself (got the idea from here). It outlined in excruciating detail what alcohol did to me and why I decided I had to try to stop drinking. I kept that letter with me and pulled it out to read whenever I was somewhere that I felt vulnerable about caving into drinking again.

Next, I read virtually everything on this website and other websites like Digital Dharma (and Spiritual River) - recs from Sheri.

Then I started posting like crazy - asking questions - responding to others. I pay special attention to people like Sheri, Doggygirl, Chill, Dancelot, Greeneyes, Zen, Saff, Techie, KTAB, Mario, Hillside, Fennel -- I'm not remembering all of them, but there really are special people here - intelligent, kind, great common sense, caring, etc. Amazing, really.

Throughout all of it, I took L-Glutamine and drank tons of water with lemon. I tried to eat a lot of greens, protein in the form of beans, cheese, fish, nuts (I think any protein will do). I also ordered one month's worth of supplements (the starter pack with the abstinence meditation tapes).

Around 5 pm (my typical starting to drink time) I would either get on this site and read or chat until 7-8. I also would do Sudoku puzzles, stuff like that (MSNBC has free ones). And, important****I did some kind of exercise (outside) every day whenever possible - a walk or a jog. I steer clear of social setting if at all possible, and will continue to do so for a good while!

That's what got me to this point. I think I've mentioned to you that I believe I've made the mental switch from deprivation to gratitude. I no longer feel I'm missing out on anything without alcohol. Everything after that really tough two week period has turned into positives for me. The quality of my sleep is probably the biggest bonus to me.

I have down times - not really depression, just a kind of fleeting boredom, but I can always think of things to do. I read voraciously - I love books about addiction and just reading in general.

So, that's what I've done. I think about the sweet picture you posted of you and your kids and know they would have a better life if you could give up alcohol. And, of course, so would you!! But you know all that - you're just fighting the beast, and the beast is tricky.

There are a lot of people here, though, with some good sober time - 1, 2, 3 years. So, we know it can be done. One last thing - I am keeping the idea of AA on the back burner as a safety net if I feel like I might drink again. I will attend if I think I need it beyond what I'm getting here at MYO.

Hope this helps in some way. Really pulling for you!!

[_EndOfTheLine_]

I have to quit

Thanks everyone again for the replies- Its really making beginning to think I can do this! RE: AA meetings- I quite keen on the support, but I don't want steps, higher powers etc- its just not for me. Also, how anonymous is anonymous- are there ever "accidental" leaks?

[Choochie]

I have to quit

The best person to ask about AA is Doggygirl. Here is the AA thread link. If you go there and post, she will answer you. She may even find you here, but that way you would be sure to find her. They start a new thread weekly, so I assume there will be a new week posted tomorrow. You go to Monthly Abstinence, and then Weekly AA Thread. Do you know how to PM someone? You just click on their name and the drop down gives you an option to send a Private Message to that person. Let us know if you need more assistance in finding DG. I can always PM her for you until you get the hang of all this.

Best to you,
Choochie

[mario]

I have to quit

For me i went to AA at the beginning of my journey,i never did higher steps or lower ones for that matter ,i took what i wanted and was not forced into anything,i dont go anymore but certainly would recommend it ,it can only help,also you dont have to go to a local one you can go to one in some other town or area. every little helps.

[_EndOfTheLine_]

I have to quit

Cool, I think I might go to one tonight- there is one on in less than two hours. I'm really worried about seeing someone I know, but I guess thats unlikely. Thanks Choochie, I'll give her a buzz if I get stuck- I will have a look at that thread now, updates to follow....

[Choochie]

I have to quit

Good for you EofL - I think it's a super idea for you to go to AA. I agree with Mario - all the help we can get is worthwhile, especially at the beginning. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[_EndOfTheLine_]

I have to quit

After careful consideration, I decided not to attend AA. I don't want to feel uncomfortable, so I'm going to avoid it. I'm not throwing out your advice however, but I really don't want to go.