I have to quit

[Choochie]

I have to quit

EoL - I understand. I have kept AA as a back burner for myself. If I think I'm not making it with MWO, it's my safety net. I've located a place close to me and will take that step if needed. I would like to be around others who have given up drinking for the support but just have not quite been able to "go there." Here are a couple of links (from the same website) that I think might be helpful for you. (They're in the Tool Box, but things can get buried in there).

51 Things You Should Know About Addiction Recovery

6 Things that a Recovering Alcoholic Needs to Learn in Order to Stay Sober

Choochie

[Pride before Fall]

I have to quit

There are other group support options that might feel like a better fit for you EOL, although I don't know much about them; I learned about them reading Anne Fletcher's "Sober for Good" and poking around on my own. Some of them have online meetings.

• Smart Recovery (SMART Recovery? | Self Help for Alcoholism & Addiction)
• Women for Sobriety (although I'm guessing you're a guy) (Welcome to Women For Sobriety, Inc.)
• SOS (Secular Organizations for Sobriety) (Addiction - Non 12 Step - Support Group - Index)LifeRing (http://lifering.org)16 Steps for Discovery and Empowerment (16-Steps for Discovery and Empowerment)

One of them might feel like a good fit for you. For the time being, consider setting a short-term goal. I know I couldn't even think clearly until I got through the first 3 days or so.

Good luck to you, EOL,

Pride

[dancelot]

I have to quit

Hi, _EndOfTheLine_ -


Great advice so far. I too had to come to the point of destroying myself physically, before I was ready to quit. I just woke up that Sunday, August 9, 2009, and knew this time it was the end of the line, though rationally I'd known for years. That's what was different from the previous times.


I was a lot like you - the times I did make an effort to quit, I'd drink, feel bad enough the next day to decide to stop, and a few days later (or usually later the same day), "forget" all about it, and off I'd go again. I drank for 36 years, and I truly believed I could never stop, that it was just not possible.


Researching my options on the internet, taking every online "are you an alcoholic" test (yes, yes, and yes - they were all in agreement and recommended immediate medical intervention or rehab).


I stumbled onto MWO. I know partly the moderation angle appealed to me - I didn't think I could quit after all. Maybe a "lesser of two evils?" Though if I was honest, I'd been trying for years and years to do that (without success). Deep down it was more the addict not wanting to give it up. Also I had a terrible fear of not having alcohol in my life. It had been around for 36 years. I mourned it as much as I did when an 18 year relationship ended (I got over it faster though!).


I came to chat, where I spent 8 hours (until it was past alcohol sales time). I met some wonderful experienced people who told me their stories. They were so calm and sane and wise and helpful. I later had an encounter with a seriously abusive drunk individual (who I've only seen here once since then). It was like I'd been shown both the light and the darkest side, and who I could be - choose one. That was a reminder of what alcohol causes us to be. Like seeing my own worst self acting out in front of me. That shook me up and I went to bed, making it through my first day. If the positivity I found here wasn't enough, that surely was!


I came on here the next day, and every day. I read and read, maybe posted a little. I did all the recommended distractions, and stayed on here as much as I needed. I followed the advice of the first people I met on chat, which was "What is your plan?" That made me think - I'd never had a plan before. I thought if I just didn't drink (which is a big part, especially the first few days).


I'd had two fairly long sober periods in my adult life - one 8 months and one 10 months. Because I didn't have a plan in place for what to do when the situation of alcohol came up, they didn't last. One ended on an impulse - an offer of an imported beer held in front of my face. The other was 9/11. Both times it was "just one beer." If it didn't escalate immediately, it certainly picked up steam as I did it the next day and the next, etc. Back to my old ways. It was 8 years since my last sober stint, before I came here. 7 years between that one and the one before. I'm not a person who can fall off the wagon and get right back on. If I did it again I don't think I would live long enough.


I followed the toolbox suggestions, and anything else that worked. I came up with what worked for me. I took the supplements, primarily kudzu and L-Glutamine. I first committed to 30 days, which sounded impossible (it was recommended to even moderate! I was like, what???). At day 3 or 4 I was feeling better, not so poisoned. I kept up my 30 day commitment and never looked back. If there was any doubt before, it was gone, and I was happy to stay AF.


I've found I have to adjust my program as I go along. There's a lot of learning that comes in. This is a new way of living for us. The good thing is, it can be done. I did add AA at 5 months. Like Mario, I haven't done steps or have a sponsor, but I find the meetings helpful and very comfortable. I keep myself open to whatever it takes to stay sober, and any adjustments I may need to make along the way. This is a great thread that explains it better than I can:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ery-46416.html


I wish you the best on your journey - you will never regret it! Much love - Dance :h

[sapphire1]

I have to quit

Hi there EOL,

Reading back, the advice so far is great!!!! I really think that a visit to your doctor is of the utmost importance. If you are passing blood it could mean any number of things, including high blood pressure, gastritis, bowel irritation, increased pressure because of liver problems. A full check up and blood work if imperative. JUst take a deep breath and dive in. If you can, be as honest as possible with your doctor about your alcohol use and your desire to stop. It may be that he/she could help with medical detox if thats what you need. Some folk need a bit of medical help to stop, taking tranquilisers for about a week. Discuss treatment options in the form of meds to rediuce cravings, at least in the short term. If you or your doc dont feel that this warranted, and you can detox safely at home then arm yourself with some powdered L-Glutamine; Mega B vitamins; VItamins C, mAGNESIUM, Calcium, Fish oil or evening oil of primrose, an electrolyte replacement such as gatorade. If you are interested in a comphrensive list and dosages of supplements, then PM me. You will need this as basic replacement supplements and they will help with withdrawal symptoms. Aim to drink at least three litres of water per day, mixed with lemon juice. A high quality liver tonic is a good idea as well. Choochie has given a list of nutritious foods that will help restore you physically as well. In the first week of your detox, your main priority is to rest, get plenty of fresh air and light exercise (maybe just a short walk everyday). Plan something to do to take your mind off your withdrawals such as reading, watching T.V. reading and posting on here, some calming music. YOu will probably find that your sleep in interupted for a while...that is normal and should settle down. I look forward to talking to you and helping you along with your journey. Sobriety is a gift that we bestow upon ourselves...possibly the greatest gift that we will ever have. Love and grace, Saff

[_EndOfTheLine_]

I have to quit

Hi everyone, just up from a nap and feeling marginally better. Thanks everyone for the replies, they help so much-I've never seen this much of a response from a group before.

I plan to make an appointment to see the Dr tomorrow. GI bleeds are not a good sign, for some reason though I'm not even worried- I think my brain is too fried to process properly.

What to do on the quitting side? My biggest fear about quitting is other people- I know I'll find sociallising more difficult and this is by far my biggest catylist for drinking. I've "quit" many times before and if I quit again it will be a case of "here we go again". Also,, I've been doing the sinclair method for around 17 weeks, and it could be that the cure is just around the corner. Of course it also could be that the naltrexone has shot my liver to shit. In any case though, its unforttunatly easier for me to keep drinking in the short term rather than try to quit....what do i need.

[Choochie]

I have to quit

EOtL - you might try this link if you want to continue to drink for a while while the meds do their thing. There are really knowledgeable people on it who are doing meds - I highly recommend visiting here for now. If you end up going for total abstinence without any meds, you can always switch to different threads. I think some people here are having real success:

Topamax, Campral, Naltrexone, Baclofen, other meds - My Way Out Forums

Oh, and just an aside on the drinking buddies - you might have to move beyond them if it means saving your own life, right?

Best to you,
Choochie

[_EndOfTheLine_]

I have to quit

Choochie;1012364 wrote:

Oh, and just an aside on the drinking buddies - you might have to move beyond them if it means saving your own life, right?

Excellent, I will keep this thought with me.

[mylife]

I have to quit

Hi EOTL, great to hear that you're here and posting. I am new, also, this is day 2 for me. I'm just happy not to be hung over anymore today and feeling physically more balanced. I also had to accept that moderating doesn't work for me -- I tried it on my own and with Topamax and Naltrexone -- neither seemed to have an effect on me in the long run. This site is fantastic and there are so many wise people posting, I am really enjoying using the site. I wish us both success! For me, I plan to be completely abstinent and I think it will change my life for the better. Good luck and keep posting and reading!

[_EndOfTheLine_]

I have to quit

Thank you for the welcome. I will keep posting and updating. Something big is happening at the minute, I'm not sure what exactly but its definately something. There is a transition because there has to be. Life or death stuff now, for the first time. I'm not sure I'm planning complete abstinance yet, I'll have to see. I know that isn't in the spirit of the current conversation, but as I say, everything is up in the air now. I will keep an eye out for your posts. Goodluck!

[_EndOfTheLine_]

I have to quit

Yeah, I think I'm gonna quit for a while anyway. God I hate this obsession...will I/ won't I....I'm exhausted. I'mm off it from now, if I fail, I fail....big deal.

[Choochie]

I have to quit

EOtL - why don't you just set some small goals for now if it's too overwhelming. A lot of people say that at 30 days, they really start to feel the difference and are reluctant to go back to drinking. If you could get that much time (thinking just ODAT), maybe it would help clarify your thinking and enable you to decide what you really want. It doesn't work unless you're 100% committed.

Choochie

[_EndOfTheLine_]

I have to quit

Thanks for the reply Choochie. I think I need to get off the fence and just quit. I could following pipe dreams of being able to drink normally or whatever but who am I kidding- I need to quit. I need to commit to this. I will rest for now, but tomorrow I think that its the end for me. It is hard, but its not undoable.

[Samantha T.]

I have to quit

Hi, EOtL,
Welcome :welcome:
I think what Choochie suggested is so perfect. From where you are right now, it's probably too overwhelming to think about anything long-term. I think most of the people on this forum have gone through at least brief periods of stopping and can attest to the fact that your perception of things is greatly altered even after only a few days of not drinking. I think approaching it in small steps is a very doable idea, and during those sober days, you can come here with a clear head, read, post, gain insight, and make plans from a clear vantage point.

It IS doable That's what I keep telling myself and I have managed to prove it to myself for 9 days now. I am still very vulnerable and one of the things I am hanging onto is Choochie's promise that at about 45 days, things will become easier. until then, I am reminding myself that this is a big undertaking and it will not always be "easy," but it's certainly doable!

Best to you and I look forward to "seeing" more of you

[_EndOfTheLine_]

I have to quit

Cool, I may try to break it all down. The mental aspect of it is by far the most challenging. I wish my brain would forget how to think!! Will keep an eye out for your progress. Doing well at 9 days now!

[spede68]

I have to quit

I've got to do this

Can I do this w/o topa?
or the hypno?