I need to stop

[Chat10]

I came across this site today - I think it was a sign...I drink way too much and I want to stop...I have used the excuse of as a mom of 4 I "deserve" to drink as much as I do. I HAVE to stop for so many reasons. Any advice is welcome - thanks in advance for your support

[mollyka]

I need to stop

Hello and welcome Chat!:welcome: As another mom of 4 I remember the 'deserve' mechanism all too well! The first major step you have just taken - coming on here. This really is a great place, read around the threads and familiarise yourself with the people and the format. Feel free to post anywhere, everyone will help you out, Just Starting Out are the best threads obviously to start.....duh....sorry, that was a bit obvious, there is a Tool Box somewhere which someone else will guide you to cos I still can't do the link - mind block, Newbies Nest is another good thread to start on. Depending on how much you were drinking you can either stop cold-turkey or go to your doc. and get advice and some medical support if required. Whatever way is appropriate to you the main thing is to get stopped. Let us know a bit about your situation if you want to share and know you are with kindred spirits here
Molly

[Chillgirl]

I need to stop

:welcome: Chat

Here is the link Molly mentioned https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html there are some brilliant tips in here to starting out.

I found this site exactly a year ago this weekend when I was at my darkest point, drinking heavily every day and suffering from anxiety attacks. I can honestly say it changed my life and I could never have done it without the support here. You have found a wonderful place and I dont believe it was an accident.

Work on a plan and identify your weakest points and triggers and make sure you avoid them and keep busy during the usual witching hours. Read and post as much as possible, you are not alone and you can do this if you really want to.

[mario]

I need to stop

Hi chat10 and welcome to mwo, read and post,post and read, you are not alone and we can all relate to what you are/were/will go through,This obviously isn’t going to change over night. And realistically, You will need to replace all that drinking with other activities, which means you need to set yourself some achievable goals.
The same goes for your feelings, learning how you can cope with difficult feelings without alcohol will take some time. Alcohol has been your way of dealing with everything difficult in your life, so you are going to have to find some other ways to cope, basically.
You should regularly review what is working and what’s not, what things are still tripping you up and most importantly, what benefits you are seeing. Remind yourself of your original reasons for wanting to stop drinking alcohol. There is a tool box thread here in monthly moderation thread, take a look in there and remember to give yourself a chance,

[Choochie]

I need to stop

Chat, just wanted to say :welcome:. You've gotten good advice from Molly, Chill & Mario. Let us know how we can help.

Choochie

[Chat10]

I need to stop

Thank you for writing!!! I so want to get "control" - here is why...

I am a mom of 4 wonderful kids - 10, 7 & 4 yr old twins. I have an unbelievably supportive husband and family, however they have no idea what I am dealing with. I have always had wine at night, but that has gotten out of control. The amount of wine gradually increased dramatically and now vodka is part of the mix. I drink from 5:00 on (sneaking shots of vodka to deal) until I go to bed. I feel lucky that I realize that this can't go on...but I'm scared to "stop". I have had anxiety and depression issues my entire adult life (I am on medication for that). The question is - where do I go from here??

[Choochie]

I need to stop

Well, except for the kids, you have just described my exact scenario and routine - wine, vodka, anxiety. My anxiety has virtually vanished since giving up the alcohol. I have posted this a couple of times (a response to Jenny), but am going to cut and paste it here again. Hope it helps.


Jen, I think there are people here who better understand the crazy chemistry of why people have a hard time at different stages. I just know that the first couple of weeks was super hard for me, then it got a little easier. I would say after about 45 days I had no more cravings and had moved away from needing sugar. Here are the things that I think were helpful for me at the beginning:

First, I wrote a really lengthy letter to myself, actually mailed it to myself (got the idea from here). It outlined in excruciating detail what alcohol did to me and why I decided I had to try to stop drinking. I kept that letter with me and pulled it out to read whenever I was somewhere that I felt vulnerable about caving into drinking again.

Next, I read virtually everything on this website and other websites like Digital Dharma (and Spiritual River) - recs from Sheri.

Then I started posting like crazy - asking questions - responding to others. I pay special attention to people like Sheri, Doggygirl, Chill, Dancelot, Greeneyes, Zen, Saff, Techie, KTAB, Mario, Hillside, Fennel -- I'm not remembering all of them, but there really are special people here - intelligent, kind, great common sense, caring, etc. Amazing, really.

Throughout all of it, I took L-Glutamine and drank tons of water with lemon. I tried to eat a lot of greens, protein in the form of beans, cheese, fish, nuts (I think any protein will do). I also ordered one month's worth of supplements (the starter pack with the abstinence meditation tapes).

Around 5 pm (my typical starting to drink time) I would either get on this site and read or chat until 7-8. I also would do Sudoku puzzles, stuff like that (MSNBC has free ones). And, important****I did some kind of exercise (outside) every day whenever possible - a walk or a jog.

That's what got me to this point. I think I've mentioned to you that I believe I've made the mental switch from deprivation to gratitude. I no longer feel I'm missing out on anything without alcohol. Everything after that really tough two week period has turned into positives for me. The quality of my sleep is probably the biggest bonus to me.

I have down times - not really depression, just a kind of fleeting boredom, but I can always think of things to do. I read voraciously - I love books about addiction and just reading in general.

So, that's what I've done. I think about the sweet picture you posted of you and your kids and know they would have a better life if you could give up alcohol. And, of course, so would you!! But you know all that - you're just fighting the beast, and the beast is tricky.

There are a lot of people here, though, with some good sober time - 1, 2, 3 years. So, we know it can be done. One last thing - I am keeping the idea of AA on the back burner as a safety net if I feel like I might drink again. I will attend if I think I need it beyond what I'm getting here at MYO.

Hope this helps in some way. Really pulling for you!!

Chat, I went cold turkey after a bender weekend. I don't know if that will work for you or not. I know you have to be 100% committed and have some kind of plan of action. You'll have to take it upon yourself to read a lot, especially tips in the toolbox under Monthly Abstinence. Do you feel like you've hit bottom? Could you quit cold turkey?

Choochie