How Much Did/Do You Drink

[sapphire1]

How Much Did/Do You Drink

Sheri;1014688 wrote: This may seem strange (as in unrelatable) to some for me to post what I'm going to post on this particular thread, but I hope it also gives people hope.

I am 20 months sober, and I can honestly say that not drinking feels completely normal to me now. I was at my sister's house for Thanksgiving and only three of the adults opted to have wine and they shared one small bottle between themselves, and when all was said and done, there was still a glass left over, and no one decided to finish it off. Before they opened that bottle, they debated whether to have red or white. "One or the other," I chuckled to myself. How about that? Two years ago, that whole conversation they were having would have made me very anxious because I knew that one bottle to myself would barely have gotten me through the first course, I would have been obsessing over the contents wondering if there was more in the refrigerator, and when it might be okay to pour myself another, and whether they would talk about me afterwards. I don't think that's something that normal drinkers ever experience which is why I know I can't ever drink, because that's what happens to me.

I don't really care to hang around drunks, but people drinking normally around me doesn't bother me at all. I don't look at the contents of their glass with longing. I don't have to white knuckle my way through the night. I just don't give it that much thought except to know that I simply can't drink because of the way my body reacts to it when I do, and I'm totatlly okay with that now. When I was asked if I wanted wine, I just said "No thanks," and I honestly meant it.

I know that there are people just starting out here that imagine that the struggle to not drink will continue their whole lives, because that's how it felt to me at first too, but that honestly has not been my experience. I didn't miss a thing by not drinking on Thanksgiving, and in fact would have missed so much more if I had.

Sheri

Sheri isnt it just marvellous and even miraculous to not have that obsession taking up some much space in your mind, day after day, minute after minute. What freedom this is!!!! I too relate to the normal drinkers enjoying rather than guzzling wine/al to get as drunk as quickly as possible. When I start drinking it sets off an immediate state change in my brain and a biochemical emergency in my body. I have this totally overwhelming need to drink as quickly and as much as possible. Its like unleashing a wild animal that flays around scratching and biting, frothing at the mouth and eventually running wild. Well today ODAT that wild animal is in a state of submissive surrender and is growling only very occasinally from its cage. As long as I do everything that I have set out to do with my plan to eat well, avoid sugar and processed food; feed my spiritual growth, keep my mind engaged with positive nurturing things, then the beast will stay just where it is. Saff

[sapphire1]

How Much Did/Do You Drink

P.S. in my drinking days (prefer to refer to the past tense) I would drink up to 4 litres of wine per day that equates to roughly 5.3 bottles!!!! I would binge for about 4-7 days at this level and either end up in hospital or going cold turkey and with terrible withdrawals. My goal is complete abstinence forever!!

[techie]

How Much Did/Do You Drink

Sheri, and Saph two remarkable posts. I relate on all fronts. It's wonderful NOT having to mentally process all the bullshit regarding alcohol that goes on in the head of the abuser. That has been the BIG leap for me. I'm NO longer obsessing about it and all its associated issues. My old self, Red or White? Why I'll have both, and by the way what are you going to drink??? Thanks!!!

[momof3]

How Much Did/Do You Drink

Sheri;1014688 wrote:
I know that there are people just starting out here that imagine that the struggle to not drink will continue their whole lives, because that's how it felt to me at first too, but that honestly has not been my experience. I didn't miss a thing by not drinking on Thanksgiving, and in fact would have missed so much more if I had.

Sheri

This is true for me too Sheri. It was hard at first and I wondered if I would ever be able to go out, have fun, be around drinkers, etc. It is a non issue now. It doesn't really matter to me whether I drink or not when I am out socializing. What I realize is that alcohol was a huge social crutch for me.

M3

[Doggygirl]

How Much Did/Do You Drink

Sheri and M3 - both very good posts. I too am in the camp where I can be around people drinking and not be bothered. (Sheri, I too have that caveate that I dislike being around people getting drunk. It doesn't make me want to drink - quite the opposite. It just bores me)

I am not a social butterfly. I never was, really. My days as "life of the party" were AL induced. I like being around people where there is a purpose. I love my volunteer work - all working with people. I enjoy business gatherings that have business focus and purpose. I'm realizing that I'm just not much of a light chit chatter. I'm accepting that about myself and embracing ALL of my sober self - the parts I like and the parts I used to NOT like and try to change with AL's help/hindrance.

FWIW..

DG

[mylife]

How Much Did/Do You Drink

Hello Everyone! Just popped in to say goodnight! I'm feeling really good at getting through my first AF weekend. Tonight unexpectedly my husband and I ended up at a restaurant with a lot of people drinking. Not planned at all, but strangely it did not bother me at all. I had already decided I wasn't drinking today and it just didn't seem like an option. Anyway, I had a lemonade and noticed the other people that opted for non-AL drinks as well. I am so happy with myself, and I have such a feeling of hope that this might really be "it" for me. I hope I can be posting soon like all of you, Sara, DG, Saph, Mom & Tech, that it's just not a big deal anymore.
Meanwhile looking forward to Day 9 AF!

[woody14]

How Much Did/Do You Drink

DG I can relate to everything you said. AL has been my social crutch since I was 15. I can give a speech to over 100 people, talk at will at meetings etc but in a social setting always felt I needed at least 2-3 drinks to get the social skills lubricated. I am surrounded by people all day and find that at the end of the day when I am sober I am very content coming home. No need to run out for that after hours cocktails and bitch session that just made me more depressed all around! At the time I thought it helped to relax and "decompress" from a stressful job when it was really doing just the opposite. I am learning for the first time what it is I truly enjoy and want to do with my time. Looking forward to a productive and sober Sunday! Woody.

[Guest]

How Much Did/Do You Drink

Rusty;1012715 wrote: This is a great thread!

Doggygirl-you asked about why people progress from wine to vodka. I asked that question to my addiction specialist/therapist once I graduated from wine to vodka and she said it's because it's a progressive disease. It takes much more wine to get a buzz going where vodka is much more powerful and faster. I can attest to that. For me, It had nothing to do with the fact that I didn't think people could smell it. It was the effect I wanted. Sip vodka....never....I loved loved loved to chug-a-lug it on the weekends. During the week, no, because I travel too much and didn't want to risk my clients seeing me hungover and reeking of booze. EEWWWW. When I was alone a weekend day, I would go to town!

Funnily enough my experience was slightly different. I decided to try vodka since I'd heard it doesn't smell so bad on you, and is a 'cleaner' drink. As a 'binge' style drinker(basically each session is as quick as possible) I found it pretty awful, it was too strong for my style of drinking and I found myself consuming 750ml to a full litre sometimes in less than 3 hours. All that did was knock me out for quite some time, see a litre has 40 units in it and that takes 40 hours to clear your body, even after 10 you still have 30 units in you. Remember waking one morning unable to operate my phone.

So I had to back off and went back to ciders since wine just made me sick - I would drink it so fast that it would come right back at me. My vodka phase was very short lived and I haven't touched it since.

[Rusty]

How Much Did/Do You Drink

I realize now that I didn't answer your question about how much I drank per day. That really varied. During the week, I didn't drink every day, and since I travel so much and eat out, I could easily stop at 1-2 glasses of wine after work without struggling. When I was with my mom and my siblings on a weekend night, I had no problem stopping at 1-2 glasses of wine. When I was home alone on a weekend was when I was particularly vulnerable. Either on a Saturday or a Sunday, when my drinking was at its worst, on a weekend day, I would go through almost a 750 ml. bottle of vodka. This happened twice per month. That insanity lasted almost 2 years, and my last hangover was May 28, 2010, when I started logging onto MWO daily. Sometimes on the weekends, I would read people's posts for hours at a time. It was a lifesaver for me, because when I was logged on....I was reading and not drinking. I am AF now. I have my life back.

[not tonight]

How Much Did/Do You Drink

I saw this post and thought I would give it a bump. I think it's a good exercise to go through.

Drinking was always an on and off and then ON part of my adult life. During my teens I would binge drink. From 18- 25 I gave up drinking. After 25 I stated socially drinking and then once I moved to London at 30 with my work my drinking started to escalate. Drinks in the pub at lunch, directly after work. I never felt I had a problem because I wasn't drinking at home, and everyone else around me was drinking in a similar fashion. After my second child turned 2 my drinking began to take on a different pattern and I taught myself how to drink an entire bottle of wine on my own. The first few times I finished one sort of shocked me, but I soon grew accustom to my new thirst. At my worst I was drinking up to but not limited to 1 1/2 bottle of wine most nights. If I had started on the wine early, and was still standing by 11:00 I might top the wine off with a pint of beer or a shot or two of whiskey. Then there are the occasions where I have no real idea how much I consumed. Like at diner parties, parities or night's out.

Any time I relapse after a period of abstaining the binge drinking comes back fast and stronger than the time before, and each time I try to quit drinking after a fall the addiction has a much firmer hold on my resolution.

I am a work in progress and continuing the fight against the addiction.

[DipGal]

How Much Did/Do You Drink

I'm still in "do" versus did...

I am trying to moderate and am more successful during the week than on weekends. I want to go 30 days AF as suggested in the Moderation Management book, and think I'll do that for the month of June. I have never gone for more than a few days AF for over the last 25 yrs. My abuse started in the 70's during the disco era, where I'd be falling all over the dance floor after a night of black russians..or blacking out and ending up in strange places.

Now, an abusive day for me is a day at home with one or two very strong bloody marys and an entire bottle of wine and maybe a strong screwdriver if I am not "done". A good day for me is one or two normal size glasses of wine.

I totally obsess about drinking and hate that, the thought of stopping makes me feel like I would be depriving myself of so much. On the other hand, I know that I am missing out on so much by falling asleep on the couch at 7:30, and not getting a good night sleep because of the booze. I rarely have a hangover thankfully.. if I am a bit groggy a nice mug of coffee in the a.m. does the trick.

There is much more to this though than just my drinking. My DH is more advanced into alcoholism than I am and although he says he is trying to moderate, I am not sure he can. He has no desire to abstain. AL affects our life and whether it will be "til death do us part". Actually, that statement may be true if we/he doesn't get it together.

I thank everyone for their candid and caring posts. I don't post often, but lurk and learn and plan..

Thanks and hugs to all!

[girly wirly]

How Much Did/Do You Drink

At the very least i'm currently drinking one bottle and one large glass of wine every night. lastnight, because its the weekend, i had one beer and about 2 and a half bottles of wine on my bypassed stomach. That is vast amounts for me as ONE glass gets me drunk.

i'm so ill. so very, very tired of this.

[spuddleduck]

How Much Did/Do You Drink

dg - ican totally relate to not being a chit chatter. i think i felt i had to be and booze helped me be that person.... till it all went tits up. if im in company with a focus i can chat away quite happily, its when people are together just for drinking that i find it tough... so i avoid it now.
ukb i also went to vodka thinking its a 'cleaner' drink and didnt smell so bad. funnily enough at first i found i didnt get such bad hangover on it but i too found that my style of drinking (fast as possible) didnt go well with it, too easy to drink too much too quickly.
its hard learning to be yourself and be happy with who you actually are........ getting there slowly

[rebirth]

How Much Did/Do You Drink

I use to drink a bottle of wine a day to chill myself out and "help" me get to sleep.and I am only 5ft tall. I cant really measure what I drank on the weekends because it was a matter of getting drunk. Whatever it took..wine, spirits..I downed them fast and furious and did not care what I looked like. Blackouts were common and I often burned myself or bruised myself or spent all my money or lost my friggin keys or acted like a slag. Cringe cringe cringe.

That was a year ago. I abstained for five months throught the support of AA and MYO and have been successfully moderating since then. All the best to you guys. x

[Nelz]

How Much Did/Do You Drink

I started out as a young 21 yo drinking beer. It was 4 a night back then. Eventually it got to be 10 beers, and shots of Jack along side.

In the past few months I even started drinking in the am, weird, because the thought of AL in the AM used to make me ill.

Been almost 3 weeks now, and I am missing it less everyday