I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

[mylife]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Hello Guys,

Jenny, I had a hard night last night too. I picked up Ratioinal Recovery and was reading it again -- (I'm about half way through) and one sentence really caught my attention:

"Tried everything but quitting?" It was followed by a paragraph about how many of us vaguely decide we need to do something about our drinking but don't have a firm idea of what exactly we're planning to do. Quit forever? Mod? See how it goes? It really hit home with me, and I've been mulling it over all day, so thought I'd share.

I think I'm going to sit down and ask myself some hard questions and write a real plan for myself this weekend.

Have a great weekend both and stay off the ice and snow!

[jennyneric]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

ML I'm worried tonight will be harder! I didn't go in today cause all the doctor's canceled and I figured why go? So here I sit, board. I will grocery shop and go to the gym and go see my friend in jail if visitation is still on with the weather but I don't know if that will do the trick. I guess it will have to cause I am not going to drink this month! Damn it!

[mylife]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

We just need to grit our teeth to get through this first weekend Jen. We have done it before and we can do it again!

Good plan to stay busy. Luckily tonight I have to go out of town with my husband and back tomorrow -- so I'll be busy and pre-occupied. In addition, he's now keeping an eye on my drinking as I asked him to, so it would be twice as hard to drink!

Have a good evening -- you can do it!!

[jennyneric]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Well I had a drink tonight, just one, at a Mexican restaurant. I ate first then had one drink and I ordered it before I ate and it got delivered to me as the food came out and I let it sit there right next to me while I ate my food and I was fine. I guess I didn't really want a drink or to get drunk cause I drank it and left and went home and here I sit. Perfectly fine. I drank normally. I've done it before. I just didn' think I could still do it. I have been home all day with my family and it is my 18th anniversary and today me and my husband can not say more than maybe 2 sentences to each other without getting in a full blown fight, like screaming and yelling horrible nasty hurtful things at each other. I don't even know what the problem is I just can't even be in the same room with him today. I hate it! I'm so sad. When I started to drink that one drink I was thinking with every sip that if I drink more than this one, if I leave here and go to the store and get more vodka, this night will get worse. No maybe it will. I don't know two things. . . one, how to just stop with the drinking period, two I don't know how to fix this relationship. Honestly the modding seams to be where I'm going with the AL. Since November I have only really drank to much once and that was last Saturday. Additional I have not drank on a night that I had to go to work the next day since 12/21. In light of the facts I am doing so much better. I wonder if I just vowed to not go to the store and buy vodka, only drink when I am not at home, I think modding would be possible. I do have the deprivation issue. I feel like after a long week at work I want to reward myself with a drink or two. That is a long way from after a long day at work I want to reward myself with a drink or 5. Just my thoughts. I am rambling but I would rather ramble on here than go scream at my husband. This is the lesser of the two evils for sure. Night all.

[mylife]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Good morning guys.

Jenny, I am sorry you're going through that. My husband and I have been together 18 years too -- we still go through our phases of fighting like cats and dogs and then getting along for a long period of time. Anyway, I know it sucks especially if you're trying not to drink.

I did not drink this weekend -- really just didn't want to for the first time in ages so I didn't. It felt great, but I have been mulling all weekend what it is I'm trying to do with this. Do I want to quit completely, or do I want to MOD? It's hard, because like you I do feel deprived if I think I can NEVER drink. I didn't say anything at the time, but I drank last Thursday -- 2 drinks, and that's when I re-read Rational Recovery and started asking myself the hard question of if I really want to quit or not.

Anyway, hang in there and if you decide to MOD then do it and stick to some sort of goal with it. I'm still trying to decide and not drinking until I do make that decision.

Hope things are going better and enjoy the Superbowl!!

[jennyneric]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Me too, ML, I just can't decide. I think that maybe on Friday and Saturday I'd like to have 2 or 3 drinks not every week but maybe twice a month. I drank again last night, just 3 drinks. I woke up today with no hangover and my day went fine. The fighting between me and my husband has stopped. I spent the day and evening with my sister and that was the break we needed after being stuck in the house with each other for several days. The AL last night has not depressed me so that's good. I thought I had my mind made up and then. . .I went looking around the mod threads and it seams that modding does not work for even the most determined people. There was one that says I will drink once a week 1/2 a bottle and if I ever drink more than that I will go back AF. . .well today that person says I drink a little every night, that just seams to go with the flow better. In my mind that is the very think you wanted to avoid, drinking anything more than 1/2 a bottle once a week was not acceptable, but now it is acceptable because it flows better. That is the kind of deception I want to avoid. I want to have 2 or 3 drinks, no more than 4 oz of vodka in a night twice a month and I never never never want to drink on a night before work or more that 2 nights in a row. Basicly drink 4 oz on Friday and Saturday nights. If I'm off on Monday also I don't want to drink but I didn't drink on Friday or Saturday then to drink Sunday if I'm off Monday that would be fine.

Anyway I'm going on. I hope you find your answer ML.

[Cassia]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Hey Jenny and mylife,

Can I throw my two cents in if that's ok?

If I was feeling like you and I would try nodding and see where it gets you. If you can set a trigger point, ie if I start drinking every night or have more than x in a night then I will go back af for x amount of time, maybe that would help. You could set boundaries.

I believe that you can change habits or set new habits. for example, I don't smoke all day at work and it doesn't bother me. But once I get home or am on the way home I will have a cig. I trained my body that was my cig time. Maybe u can change your body to be the same way with drink.

If you are thinking that you are depriving yourself then I don't know if af will work long term. But if you remove the idea of deprivation by nodding then it should work. Everyone is different. If you are focused and determined then u can do anything!!!

Good luck!
X

[mylife]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Hello Jenny and Cassie,

Cassie thanks for the input. It's just hard to decide because there is so much advice out there saying it's impossible to MOD. However, there is this little voice in my head that says people can re-learn how to eat as you can't completely stop eating if you have an issue with food, so why can't you do the same with AL? I don't know. Also, as I have said in the past it's hard for me because I've had absolutely NO repurcussions in my life as a result of AL. I only am here because I know internally it became a problem for me.

Anyway, if I do decide to MOD I need to come up with some specific guidlines. Maybe I'll read the MOD threads tonight.

Thanks guys, and have a great evening!

[Cassia]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Hey mylife,

I am here for the same reasons as you. A couple of people may be disappointed if I drink again but that's about it. Right now being af is really working for me but who knows if I will always stay af.

You will make the right decision for what u need. I don't think it's impossible to mod..nothing is impossible!

Have a great night!

L x

[jennyneric]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Thank for the input Cassia. I have had the same experience with cigs. I used to smoke on the way to work, at lunch, and on the way home and then after I put the kids to bed. Now I smoke one or two cigs after 9 even when I drink I don't smoke more than that. When I first started smoking I smoked 1/2 a pack a day but when I started working I had to cut back because I didn't want it to take away from my work then I had kids and I cut back even more cause I didn't want to leave my kids to go outside of a cig. I could do the same with al. Like you and ML nothing bad has happen to me because of al. I just know I was drinking to much. I want to try to drink 4 days in a calender month never more than 4 oz which is 2 to 3 drinks and never on a work night or more than 2 nights in a row. Well see how that goes. I am AF tonight and doing well, watching the superbowl with my kids. Have a good one y'all.

Hey if you decide it's right for you maybe this can be our mod thread. Wouldn't that be the ultimate control anyway?

[Sharky]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Hey guys.......
Day 1 again today. Overdid it big time over the weekend.. hurting today. Don't feel good about myself at the moment. arrghhhhhhh.....

[mylife]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Hello All.

Okay, so I am going to try Modding for a month and see how it goes. If I don't stick with my goals I will go back to abstinence.

I can drink 1/2 bottle of wine per week (on a weekend night) when out with my husband. Other than that I will not drink unless I'm in a social situation. I have never had problems over drinking in social situations so I'm not worried about that one.

Last night I went to a superbowl party and nursed a light beer the entire night and I was fine with that. I did not drink Friday or Saturday -- just didn't feel like it either night.

Let's see how this goes!

Sharky, I think it's important to make a specific goal and stick with it. If abstinence isn't working, maybe set specifics for Modding with the threat of abstinence if you can't stick with it? I'm just giving it a shot and will see how it goes.

Have a great day all and feel better Sharky! You will feel better already tomorrow!

[Sharky]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Definitely need a plan. Thought I had one for the weekend but didn't adhere to it. I kinda just said "what the hell" ..... Modded well on Friday but let it escape me Sat and Sun.
MyLife - I like your plan and feel that I need to do the same. Social situations only.
Worst part will be back to the therapist and admit to f**ing up this past weekend. Guilt ridden......

[jennyneric]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Ok so it looks like we are all going to try to mod. . .this is what I'm going to do, I want to say with my plan of never drinking on work nights and never more than 4 days a calander month and never more than four oz. I am going to keep posting here and letting y'all know the truth about what I am drinking and if I even change my plan its time to be AF for 30 days, unless of course I change it to less drinking and not more, then I'm fine. I do not want to ever drink on a work night, that is the problem, if I work on Sat then no drinky drinky on Friday! Tell me the truth about what you see guy's and, if you want, I'll tell you your truth also.

[Sharky]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Jenny-
Like your commitment to the plan. My problem is I think I have a plan and then blow it. Once I now I'm going to blow it, I kinda get the mindset of screw it and all bets are off. I need to be much stronger.
Your goal seems veery reasonable and attainable. I would like to have a similar goal of not drinking 25 out of 30 days. Need to put some good AF days together.....