I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

[scottish lass]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Thank you for posting Herbie - I have to admit those thoughts are in my mind, and have been last couple of days - as I approach 30 I know there is part of me saying, welll done - you did it, proved you can, now let's start slowly..I so long for that life, but know it is not realistic, but so wish I could....

[BelleGirl]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Herbie, I totally understand what you are saying. I believe I felt the same way...was successful at 30+ days AF so I could probably mod. I did not set out to mod, just let my guard down and allowed myself to drink like a "normal" person might. I did not go overboard, but I did see those old habits come back...such as sneaking a little more into my glass when folks aren't looking...even finishing up my brother's wine glass after he left. These things tell me that I still have a problem and cannot mod, not now, and maybe not ever. I don't like that idea, but falling into that rabbit hole is a scary thing.

44 days is awesome. You should be very proud, but I guess like me, it could be dangerous to let your guard down. Stay close to MWO and the nest. We are all here for each other.

[Herbie]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

thanks all

[Herbie]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

i reading various post last night I came across this one from LoLab... Under thinking of moderating

Quite possibly there’s been a thread like this in the past – my apologies. I thought it may help to have a place to post our experiences of drinking again….after a period of abstinence. The thought occurs to most people – whether we succeeded at 15 days, 30 days – 100 days or 3 years…I guess some people are successful at moderating but if you’ve turned back and tried to go AF again, please share your story.

After I made 30 days earlier in the year, I slowly let my guard down and ended up wasting another 5 months drinking before I succeeded again - ….I didn’t “consciously” decide to moderate – but by the end of the 5 months with a box of wine under my bed and a vodka bottle in my closet, I knew I wasn’t succeeding! I went on a wonderful vacation and decided that since I never sleep well the night before I travel, I may as well drink the night before…..I was so sick and hungover I was afraid to look the flight attendant in the eye. It was a nightmare…and so were the first couple of days of the vacation with limited alcohol. This was AFTER I enjoyed the euphoria of being alcohol free for over 30 days and knowing how great my life was.

I wonder- back when I was first thinking that I could have that one glass of wine at a shower (after my 30 days) if I had read a bunch of actual experiences of the regret that people feel about taking that first drink after a period of abstinence – and how hard it is to quit again – if it would have made a difference. I’m not sure – I mean I was aware – but the key to me is repeatedly reading things – so maybe.

So in an effort to help anyone who is at that point – thinking “I did my 30 days and now I’ll re-evaluate….I think I can drink socially and keep it under control” – or even those that have enjoyed abstinence for longer periods and decide that they may be able to moderate - or the ones that experience a stressful event that drives them back…..I thought that if we shared stories of what happened when we were in similar situations and grouped them all together – it might help. Also if I ever get the crazy notion again that I could ever drink normally, I could look to a place and be reminded what road I am contemplating going down.

So, while I don’t live with a huge bunch of regret, I do know that after drinking for most of my son’s childhood years I finally was able to make the change last spring. I stopped drinking. And when I started again, I wasted the spring and summer of him being 13 years old….and we’ll never get that back. That glass of wine at the shower – to fit in – was so not worth it.
~lola
__________________
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

AF Sept 26, 2011

[Unwasted]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Herbie, moderating didn't work for me - well it did, but it still sucked. I don't know what thread it's on but if anyone wants to hear a reason not to try moderating after being AF, find Freesoul's latest post. Your basic nightmare -- threw away a long stint of AF and is now having problems getting back to where he was after trying to moderate.

Found a link to Freesoul's post:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...new-54142.html

[scottish lass]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

I am wondering how MyLife is faring? Hope her cruise is wonderful and she is managing to be AF.
I went to the mall shopping with my almost 11 yo and my 13 yo girls, and we all came home happy - and I did not need a glass of wine when out, nor when I got in! I told my girls that I have decided to look after myself more and instead of rewarding with a glass of wine, I will reward with some lotion or cream or saving for a treat - and they liked that idea - so do I
Thanks so much for the posts about moderating as it really is in my mind - A LOT! I can't really understand, I feel so very good without, but the thoughts are continual - they are changing from craving, to bargaining for just one glass now and then - and I know that I can't manage just one - I am hoping that as with the craving voices, these bargaining voices will also quiet as they are really very convincing!

[Unwasted]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

SL, my brain finally understands alcohol is out..........It doesn't mean I don't think about it, but I just keep my eye on the prize.......fabulous sleep, anxiety gone, the constant struggle to control the amount not being an issue, all of that we're so familiar with..........

I think it takes time but just keep plugging away and the thoughts of alcohol will diminish. At least that's what others here say. I think it's true.

I read an article by someone responding to a question about how long it takes alcohol to leave the system. The answer was a year because it's not just the physical, it's the emotional connection we have to alcohol. After decades of drinking, I can't expect never to think about it after a month or two.

I've been wondering about ML and Jenny. If ML is able to abstain on a cruise, she is one strong woman. I don't think I'll undertake something that challenging for a while.......

I have decided to look after myself more and instead of rewarding with a glass of wine, I will reward with some lotion or cream or saving for a treat - and they liked that idea - so do I

You know, your quote made me think of something regarding kids. Have you noticed that they often lean toward what is right? They don't like to see their parents drink or do "bad" things. Their moral compass is usually better than that of adults! You'll be doing them a favor by not drinking ............. the signal that a parent sends are the strongest even if it seems like it's stronger from peers. In the long run, they mimic the parent. Being AF for them is almost a moral imperative IMHO. :l

[K9Lover]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

scottish lass;1234045 wrote: I told my girls that I have decided to look after myself more and instead of rewarding with a glass of wine, I will reward with some lotion or cream or saving for a treat - and they liked that idea - so do I

SL - I can once again identify with you! Just the other day I was debating over an expensive cream and my daughter looked at me and said "You deserve it Mom, you've made changes and given up other things, so just buy it!" We both knew she was referring to alcohol. I haven't hidden my struggles from her. I want her to know that it's so much easier to NEVER START than to try to quit! And Unwasted hit the nail on the head when she said that kids instinctively lean towards what's right. I'm starting to learn to follow my daughter's example in many things, her innocence in refreshing. Out of the mouth of babes, huh?

[FreeFly]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Hi K9,
I've been lurking over the holidays. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you had a rough ride. Loneliness is my trigger too so I totally understand. I haven't read anything today but I'm sure you're back on track. I go cold turkey but I know that when I manage AF, everything shifts around me and suddenly I seem to have more people in my life. Just wanted to send you a hug as you've posted some very supportive advice and warmth to me since I found this site. I think 2011 was a year of letting go ready for 2012 energy. Wishing you, and everyone else, a very, very happy New Year. Here's that hug :l

[K9Lover]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Hi Freefly,
Thanks for your positive words. Yes, I am back on track after 2 days of being an idiot. I look at my December calendar and see row after row of stickers indicating sober days, but those 2 damn empty days are driving me crazy. Oh well, no point in dwelling on it. I plan to have my 2012 calendar FULL of stickers!
I realized that unfortunately, Antabuse clears my system completely in 4 days. But I realized, fortunately, that beer doesn't hold the lure it once used to. I didn't enjoy the taste, and my body did not enjoy having poison shoved down it.
Tonight my treat for myself is going to be some delicious fish & chips take out...I've been craving it all day and can't wait for the greasy deliciousness. LOL
Right back at 'cha Freefly! :l
K9

[scottish lass]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Hi K9 - love to see your mood has changed to cheerful.
Unwasted - wise words.
heres to hoping Jenny and ML are succeeding however they wish to succeed!
Hi Firefly - we all share similarities, that is what gives us strength - we really do understand - there is always in a similar boat - i also agree, 2011 has made me ready to live for myself and my girls in 2012 - I am hoping it is the year where I succeed in so many ways..

[K9Lover]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

Hi SL and everyone else!
I have been wondering about Jenny also, and I hope she is doing well. Nothing about this is easy, but boy is it worth it!
SL - I'm so glad to hear the resolve in your voice to make 2012 a good year for you and your girls. My relationship has changed with my daughter in the last year. Yes, part of it is her growing up, but mainly it's because for the most part I have been sober, and actually "there"...not just a spaced out blob on the couch. I regret all the times I was too "sick" to do things with her because I was hungover, but I can't dwell on that. I admit to my mistakes in the past, but I refuse to get stuck there!
Well...this challenge is drawing to a close, as we only have 3 days left! We'll have to start a Sober 2012 thread!
K9

[scottish lass]

I'm starting my rest of the year sober challange today!

3 more days - holy moly!
And yes, K9 - agreed, but trying not to focus on regrest as I have many, but looking to what I can do now....