I feel like i've been 'just starting out' several times

[miim619]

I am not AF, but I have definitely cut back and have made serious strides in changing the habitual way in which I used to drink. I used to put my daughter to sleep at 8:30pm and pour my first large vodka and soda water. Every night, without fail. That is not happening anymore. I want to be a healthy mama for my daughter.

I am struggling with sleep, haven't slept more than 2 hours total in the past two days. I have read a lot in the forums and I hope to reach that place where the sleep is amazing and comes with ease.

I am also struggling emotionally as just 2 days ago my daughter's father told me he wants a divorce. I left him about 2 months ago because he was not protecting our marriage (infidelity was suspected, inappropriate behavior with other women), also he just wasn't nice to myself or his daughter on a consistent basis. I believe he suffers from Bipolar disorder but he thinks there is nothing wrong with him, it's everyone else in the world that is messed up. This being said, I thought I was emotionally prepared to move on, a whole new life, the possibilities that I may find someone in the future that would treat me and my daughter well and enjoy life with us. Turns out, I don't think anyone is ever emotionally prepared for a 15 year relationship to end. It's almost all I've ever known. The unknown is so scary.

Anyway, thank you for reading my venting, ranting, what have you. I am grateful for the wealth of knowledge I have found here and hope to have a support group here.

[Choochie]

I feel like i've been 'just starting out' several times

Welcome Miim,:welcome: I'm sorry to hear about your marital problems - really difficult, especially when there' s a child involved. I wish you the best and just know that we are all here for you.

Post your questions/concerns. Sounds like you've already started doing a lot of reading on the site. Just wanted to make sure that you have this link because it's full of important information:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Choochie

[K9Lover]

I feel like i've been 'just starting out' several times

Welcome Miim!
If I had a dollar for every "day 1" I started, I'd be retired by now.
I'm sorry to hear about your marital problems, but please don't compound the problem with alcohol. I know, easier said than done.
Give yourself a few days off, and your sleep will get better too!
Glad you're here!
K9

[Juley]

I feel like i've been 'just starting out' several times

Hi Miim.

I'm also a 'restarter' and only on day 2.
It's good you're even considering it. Worse if you didn't visit at all.

Stay strong and sorry to hear about your woes.

[Mazzie]

I feel like i've been 'just starting out' several times

Hi and Welcome Miim

Good for you to be addressing the habit of drinking. Left unchecked it would only get worse never better.

Today, be kind to yourself hey. I would think it would be very natural to be feeling all sorts of emotions when a 15 year relationship ends. You need time and your daughter needs you.

Sending you some :l:l :l

Maz

[mylife]

I feel like i've been 'just starting out' several times

Hi Miim, I am also a "re-starter" on day 3. And I am also having marital problems in my 18 year marriage, so I can definitely relate! I completely understand the fear of the unknown, so I have chosen not to focus on that right now! My goal right now is for this "re-start" to be my final battle with this disease, and to become a sober, healthy person. Whether my marriage survives or not, it can only make my life a better one to be healthy. I figure if my marriage works out it will be a better one with my sobriety. If it does not, I'll be a more clear headed and strong person to face what life will be like on my own. I hope this helped! It's nice to know we're not alone with these types of life problems. Listen to the great advice of the senior members on this site!