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    #1

    Other drinkers!

    It will be 6 months for me tomorrow and loving everyday of being AF, funny thing is how other drinkers around me always seem to have a comment on why I'm not drinking. When I quit smoking everyone was so happy for me, now that I quit drinking it's so when are you going to have a drink is this really a permanet thing and I believe it was said sacrastically. I believe when you are a non drinker around a bunch of drinkers you make them feel uncomfortable. I remember when I was drinking and if there was someone not drinking, I thought there must be something wrong with them, instead I was the one with the problem. My husband mentioned that now they can really have fun at an upcoming party because they could get drunk and not worry about driving home. Which is fine, they will be the ones looking like idiots and I get to be the one laughing and retelling what morons they were the next day, oh and waking up hangover free.

    Sorry for the rambling, I am so happy for this place! I know I do not post often, but I really do love you all. This is the place to be.

    Two
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    #2
    Other drinkers!

    Twosox, you have posted a fascinating topic. I can remember as recently as six months ago looking at someone like she was crazy when she said she wasn't drinking. Well, how quickly those tables turned!! Now, here I am.

    Isn't it incredible to think that we have made such a 180 degree turn? It's a very strange phenomenon to me - the way drinkers are uncomfortable around non drinkers and that I was part of that camp not so long ago. Alcohol is a complex demon. Like you say, you'd think they'd be happy for you in the same way they were when you quit smoking. I don't know if it's like holding a mirror up to their own problems or what. But I know when I was drinking I absolutely could not fathom drinking not being part of my life - just didn't occur to me until I started have real problems with it.......Go figure!!

    Well, all I know is that, like you, I'm so happy to be here! And, last but not least, huge congrats on your upcoming six month anniversary tomorrow!! Woohoo. Can't wait to be at six months!!

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      #3
      Other drinkers!

      I was just reading about this last night in Alan Carr's book. He brought up the same question, Why is it that society congratulates us when we stop putting posion in our lungs but not when we stop putting down our thoat? He then questioned is it becasue they know they should stop drinking also? Very interesting topic!

      Stay Strong!
      "I've done it. I don't need to drink anymore. I'm free!"-Jason Vale

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        #4
        Other drinkers!

        I think many people under our noses have drinking problems but deny it. When they see you've made it i do think it makes people jealous. Most people say they drink too much but never have the pillpower or want to get up off there asses and do something about it.
        Good for you!!!

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          #5
          Other drinkers!

          Good morning all. I have to agree with Choochie. I am guilty in the past of having friends that quit drinking and kind of giving them a hard time for it! Probably because on some level I knew I had a problem and didn't want to face it!

          Now I am the one, and I wish I could go back and re-do those moments with them! Luckily, I have over the years of realizing I have a problem, separated myself from the heavy-drinking friends I had when I was younger. I really think the friends that I value now would only reinforce my behavior....the true friends that is.

          I have also seen it in work situations if someone says they don't want a drink -- people give them a hard time! Luckily hasn't come up for me yet, I'll think of strategies when it does. Have a great day.

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            #6
            Other drinkers!

            Thanks for the feedback, I also believe that it is most of the people that give me a hard time are ashamed of how much they are drinking. I know a few of them drink everyday including my hubby. My hubby may not get drunk everyday but he does drink a few beers and then a glass or two of wine, so more than he should.

            mylife, you mention seeing people give other people a hard time when not drinking, I find it ridiculous that people just don't grow up, its peer pressure as an adult, one would think that when you grow up that would stop - not!

            Two

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              #7
              Other drinkers!

              I would tend to agree. In my experience the people who can take or leave AL dont seem to pass much comment or really care what anyone else is drinking. It is the people who possibly feel that a look in the mirror in regard to their relationship with AL is being brought a little to close for comfort by having a problem drinker in their midst decide to stop.
              Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

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                #8
                Other drinkers!

                Two...You would think so!

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                  #9
                  Other drinkers!

                  KTAB;1018474 wrote: I would tend to agree. In my experience the people who can take or leave AL dont seem to pass much comment or really care what anyone else is drinking. It is the people who possibly feel that a look in the mirror in regard to their relationship with AL is being brought a little to close for comfort by having a problem drinker in their midst decide to stop.
                  I agree with this too. If people in your circle are giving such a hard time because you aren't drinking then it may be time to expand your circle.

                  Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


                  St. Francis of Assisi

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                    #10
                    Other drinkers!

                    My sister in law was sober for 4 1/2 years and everytime I got around her all I could think about was that she was sober and I did not know how to act because I did not know what was acceptable. Quite honestly the fact that she was sober made me want to drink more. At the time I didn't have a problem. I don't know that I have a point, I just thought I would add my two cents in this study of human behavior.
                    You always succeed if you never stop trying.
                    Everyday we choose the direction of change.

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                      #11
                      Other drinkers!

                      twosox, Congrats on your 6 AF months!!!!

                      Prepare yourself for rude comments from others ahead of time - it's like taking out insurance on the new & sober you!
                      I've told those people things like 'It's personal' or 'Medical reasons' then quickly change the subject or walk away. I figure no one actually has the right to question me - I don't do that to people

                      Keep up the great work!
                      Lav
                      AF since 03/26/09
                      NF since 05/19/09
                      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                        #12
                        Other drinkers!

                        I agree... I would be very suspicious of anyone that pressure's someone into drinking or overly concerned why the person is not drinking... it just may be time to expand your circle like RC said.

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                          #13
                          Other drinkers!

                          Goodmorning,

                          It's not always easy to expand my circle, but I will try. I do have 2 non drinking friends that were drinkers and I just recently found out that they to quit, both of them have quit way before me and I just did not know.

                          My husband had his friend over last night and he was watching me pour my tonic water and asked what else I was putting in it, I said just ice and a lime. He asked what brought this on (of me not drinking) so I told him. It was nice there was no eye ball rolling or smirking just a good for you kinda comment.

                          I have a party to go to this Friday night and I am hoping there will be no eye ball rolling or smirking but if there is that is fine, I will just leave early.

                          Two

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                            #14
                            Other drinkers!

                            Good for you twosox. I remember when you joined!!
                            I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                            Live in the Solution....not the problem

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                              #15
                              Other drinkers!

                              jennyneric;1018491 wrote: I don't know that I have a point, I just thought I would add my two cents in this study of human behavior.
                              :H

                              I often look back on my past behavior before drinking problem to get some insight on how people might feel about me now when I say I'm not drinking. One thing we talked about at AA was how you could silence an entire room by saying "I don't drink because I'm an alcoholic".

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