Other drinkers!

[_EndOfTheLine_]

Other drinkers!

This is by far my biggest problem

I am so worried about Christmas time because all it means is drink, drink and more drink. At my age (27) everyone drinks and all my friends will expect me to aswell. I really don't know if I can deal with pressure and being socially ostracised at Christmastime. I have been obsessing about this for the past three days and I have to figure it out soon cos I'm on antebuse and will need to clear it out. Part of my thinking is saying to wait to after Christmas in the New Year where I'll be able to get a clear run at it, but part of me is saying that I probably said that last year.

[_EndOfTheLine_]

Other drinkers!

IN fact, I think it would be wise for me just to stop taking the AB now to unsure that I do not damage my liver. I have a part to go to Thursday a week away and I know I'll push my luck so its best if I quit taking it now. i know this is a bit defeatist but realistically, I know I won't be able to stay sober all Christmas this early in my non-drinkinness.

[Sunnyvalenting]

Other drinkers!

End,
This is not your biggest problem. Your addiction to alcohol is.
You are using this (social stigma) as an excuse to continue your addiction. It is certainly your premeditated choice but I hope you realize you do have one (choice). Why should you care what others think about what you are doing good for yourself? I believe that a lot of these people secretly admire someone with the courage of their convictions and a plan.
Good Luck,
Sunny

[Zeppie2]

Other drinkers!

congrats on your 6 months twosox, eventually people will kind of accept that you don't drink anymore and will stop pestering you about it, but there will always be the new people you meet of course.

[mollyka]

Other drinkers!

End, I understand what you are saying but I really would ask you to think this through in a truly rational manner. What happens when you do drink - is it always a happy occasion or (like me) do you have a great buzzy time for about an hour and then everything goes a bit pearshaped and you wake up the next morning.....'oh shit'? There will ALWAYS be a reason to procrastinate. Back in March 2009 I was in such a strong place re. my drinking - had been sober for about a month and a half but more importantly was truly really happy about being sober, and enjoying life, but a holiday abroad was looming ---- and as they say - the rest is history!! It really was a disaster and took me about 9 months to truly get to grips with sobriety again. Would you think of taking on christmas as a challenge - I find christmas utterly undaunting this year cos I was sober last year.
Whatever you decide, best of luck with it and don't be afraid to stay around here - it's a tough one
Molly

[mollyka]

Other drinkers!

Twosox, well done on 6 months, it's such a milestone. Tell them alcohol gives you piles or something - that'll shut them up!!
Molly

[gyco]

Other drinkers!

remembering

twosox40;1018013 wrote: It will be 6 months for me tomorrow and loving everyday of being AF, funny thing is how other drinkers around me always seem to have a comment on why I'm not drinking. When I quit smoking everyone was so happy for me, now that I quit drinking it's so when are you going to have a drink is this really a permanet thing and I believe it was said sacrastically. I believe when you are a non drinker around a bunch of drinkers you make them feel uncomfortable. I remember when I was drinking and if there was someone not drinking, I thought there must be something wrong with them, instead I was the one with the problem. My husband mentioned that now they can really have fun at an upcoming party because they could get drunk and not worry about driving home. Which is fine, they will be the ones looking like idiots and I get to be the one laughing and retelling what morons they were the next day, oh and waking up hangover free.

Sorry for the rambling, I am so happy for this place! I know I do not post often, but I really do love you all. This is the place to be.

Two

:goodjob:congrats on the 6 months,i t think its all in the mindset as another thread had said,it seems yours is in the rt spot i also said as my wife left for a get together with th girls the other nt,drive safely,,not her ,watch out for the other person.:thanks:gyco

[_EndOfTheLine_]

Other drinkers!

Thanks for the replies. THers several ways of looking at it I suppose. I'm all over the place in terms of my plan at the minute, I want it sorted but also I want to be practical and realistic.

[Choochie]

Other drinkers!

EOL - take the road less traveled. Would you jump off a bridge just because everyone else was doing it? Save yourself, man. Screw what others think. Tell them the doctor told you if you didn't give up alcohol you'd die because your liver is trashed. No one is worth compromising your mindset. If you crater now it's like Molly said. You will be setting yourself way back and starting over might be a challenge. It gets more and more difficult.

I know it's not easy especially at your age. But those of us who are older are wishing we had our eyes open when we were your age.

xx,
Choochie

[_EndOfTheLine_]

Other drinkers!

Choochie;1020009 wrote: EOL - take the road less traveled. Would you jump off a bridge just because everyone else was doing it? Save yourself, man. Screw what others think. Tell them the doctor told you if you didn't give up alcohol you'd die because your liver is trashed. No one is worth compromising your mindset. If you crater now it's like Molly said. You will be setting yourself way back and starting over might be a challenge. It gets more and more difficult.

I know it's not easy especially at your age. But those of us who are older are wishing we had our eyes open when we were your age.

xx,
Choochie

Thanks for that reply Choochie, I love that attitude. I don't want to tell them that my Dr says my liver is trashed because I don't want to admit to them that I have a problem (to them). Any other ideas how I could get around this? I'm quite easily influenced at this stage....

[Choochie]

Other drinkers!

Well, if you're not to the point yet where you feel comfortable being honest (and I understand), could you just say you've been sick and are on antibiotics? I think a white lie to protect your sobriety is ok if you just feel you can't tell the truth yet. But, if you want to get sober, ultimately you'll have to be honest, won't you? Can't be on antibiotics forever, but it could get you through the holidays.

You'll have to be willing to accept the fact that you might need new friends. There is a young guy named Bugz here who did exactly that. He got a whole new group of friends through AA. Here is a link to his blog:

Running Underground

xx,
Choochie

[_EndOfTheLine_]

Other drinkers!

Cool, really appreciate the responses, will check out the links

[Sunnyvalenting]

Other drinkers!

I find the following works just fine:

"no thanks, I'm fine"

or "no thanks I've had enough" (which is true, after all)

Carry a full glass of something non alcoholic. They are less likely to offer you stuff.

[Doggygirl]

Other drinkers!

:yougo::yougo:CONGRATULATIONS ON 6 MONTHS AF TWOSOX!!!:yougo::yougo:

twosox40;1018461 wrote: I also believe that it is most of the people that give me a hard time are ashamed of how much they are drinking.
I know you are right because I used to be one of those people. I felt better about my own addiction if I surrounded myself with people drinking lots and lots. I encouraged everyone to drink up! Drink up! And that was not about them at all. That was about me and and my (rightful) concerns and insecurities with my own problem.

KTAB;1018474 wrote: I would tend to agree. In my experience the people who can take or leave AL dont seem to pass much comment or really care what anyone else is drinking. It is the people who possibly feel that a look in the mirror in regard to their relationship with AL is being brought a little to close for comfort by having a problem drinker in their midst decide to stop.

This is very true. Mr. Doggy, my "gold standard" normie, could care less what people are drinking or not. He doesn't even take notice unless someone is acting really drunk and stupid. Then he laughs.

_EndOfTheLine_;1019778 wrote: IN fact, I think it would be wise for me just to stop taking the AB now to unsure that I do not damage my liver. I have a part to go to Thursday a week away and I know I'll push my luck so its best if I quit taking it now. i know this is a bit defeatist but realistically, I know I won't be able to stay sober all Christmas this early in my non-drinkinness.

End, I too hope you will rethink this. You CAN stay sober with the help of AB. There will ALWAYS be a drinking occassion. Always. There is never a "good time." After I relapsed in 2007, I kept telling myself and a mentor here (Chief) that "as soon as _________ (insert holiday / birthday / party / event / vacation / etc. here) is over, I will start Day 1." There was always something. I finally just had to bite the bullet and work through it. I really believe that is what you will have to do as well if you really want to get sober. It's hard, but look at all the people here who are doing it one day at a time. You can too.

DG

[twosox40]

Other drinkers!

End, I know this may not be realistic but have you thought about just not going to the party or parties or maybe if you know a non drinker you can hang around them or bring tonic water with lime and no one will know if it is alcoholic or not. Tonic water and lime is my favorite drink.

I went to my first Christmas party this year, it was just for the barn ladies. I was a little worried about how it would go with everyone drinking but me. I have to say I actually prayed that there would be atleast one other that did not drink, well prayer answered there was one other that didn't drink -YEAH! When I got there one of the women asked what I wanted a beer, wine? I just simply said I don't drink and had a diet coke instead.


Two