Yup I think I'm back to my old selfy. I know I've been a bit vague after my great 5 months and 3 1/2 weeks sober earlier this year. It's taken a while and a few relapses for me to get my attitude back to where it was. When I say "where it was" I've a good idea I started losing that around June/July time. Complacency perhaps, but I just lost my sense of what was important. To an alcoholic there is nothing more important than daily sobriety. I was pretty militant back before then and it worked, I was the happiest I'd been for many years as well as full lof gratitude. Instead I softened and started going back to my old ways, old ways of constantly thinking I had to explain myself to people - when I should have just had the confidence to do what I felt was right. All that happened was self doubt crept in, this then allowed me to become very vulnerable and mixed up.
I had to go to another personal low to decide it was time to change, that my initial approach works. I was talking to someone in the gym this morning and telling her about my goal for next year. I could have so easily died at any point over the last 10 years as a consequence of my drinking. I am lucky to be alive and I think it's amazing that I'm sober and able to live ODAT.
I know a lot of people swear by Baclofen, I've considered it but have a pretty good idea I'll dose up and drink anyway - because that's what I do. For me this can be overcome with a complete turn around in my mindset, along with gratitude. I'm also not prepared to wait for the meds/switch. I want my sobriety now, not when I'm further down the line and I know I can do it.
Today I am alive and enjoying my life, and I am kicking ass, no pussying around.
YAY!
I had to go to another personal low to decide it was time to change, that my initial approach works. I was talking to someone in the gym this morning and telling her about my goal for next year. I could have so easily died at any point over the last 10 years as a consequence of my drinking. I am lucky to be alive and I think it's amazing that I'm sober and able to live ODAT.
I know a lot of people swear by Baclofen, I've considered it but have a pretty good idea I'll dose up and drink anyway - because that's what I do. For me this can be overcome with a complete turn around in my mindset, along with gratitude. I'm also not prepared to wait for the meds/switch. I want my sobriety now, not when I'm further down the line and I know I can do it.
Today I am alive and enjoying my life, and I am kicking ass, no pussying around.
YAY!
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