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    #1

    My official plan

    OK, I have been on this board for a little over two weeks maybe now and in that time I've switched between drinking/not drinking/planning to drink/planning to abstain forever etc. Sorry if anyone has been following my posts and are confused.

    However, I think I've come up with what I think is a pretty good plan. My big issue was that I have exams next week and I was drinking too much to study, I have sorted that out by taking antabuse. However my other thing was that I didn't think it was realistic for me to not drink over Christmas; it would cause a lot of mental wrangling and I probably (lets face it) would fail in the end up anyway. I really don't think I am ABLE to stop drinking yet, in practicall terms. Obviously its possible, but its not realistic. Therefore, after the exams I am going to continue with the sinclair method until after Christmas where I have an appointment with an addiction specialist. He will review my medication and suggest something else if my current plan (sinclair)isn't working by then. I think that Antabuse will help when I really need to not drink, but I know its only a short term solution (for me)

    Thanks for listening
    The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere.
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    #2
    My official plan

    EOL, I'm glad you're seeing an addiction specialist after the holidays. I know the waffling (should I? shouldn't I? How much? When? Shit, I did it again) gets exhausting. Your only 27--I did it for 15 years. Trust me--you don't want that to happen.

    Antabuse can be a longer term solution when the time is right, so can some of the other anti-craving meds if Nal isn't working for you. What day is your appointment? I'd love to hear how it goes. Meanwhile, keep reading and posting. There's a lot of discussion about negotiating the holidays without alcohol these days.

    xoxo Pride
    AF since July 15, 2010. :applouse:
    "People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim." —Ann Landers

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      #3
      My official plan

      Good luck EOTL. I can completely relate as I went through 2 years of trying to decide what to do before ending up 2 days after Thanksgiving (planned to get through it first) giving up AL.

      I feel great now, and wish you success with your plan! Addiction specialist is a great idea!

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        #4
        My official plan

        Thanks guys!I'm not sure what date my appointment because it hasn't been sent out yet but my GP says it will be after Christmas. Getting help feels great, its too much for just one person.
        The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere.

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          #5
          My official plan

          Good luck with it EOTL, failing to plan is planning to fail. Just a word of warning, sometimes knowing we plan to quit very shortly while still allowing ourselves to drink can lead to an almighty bender, last hurrah and all that. Just be careful, look after yourself.
          Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

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            #6
            My official plan

            Wrangling?Why, what over?

            I know that sounds a bit simplistic but if you decide to abstain then there is no wrangling.Basically you don't drink FULL STOP. I find that it's when or 'if' I might allow myself to drink that the wrangling starts - "Just one more glass, or will that be too much?will I be able to drive/train/study tomorrow if I have another one?oh I'll be ok, oh shit I'm not. What time shall I start or stop?red or white?St Heliers pear or blueberry?Shall I take my meds or is it just a waste of time?" If I drink all bets are off. I could be ok in the morning, or I could be a mess, I could continue through the next day, or I might be sick all day. Who blinking knows?

            Not drinking is generally simpler as you know what's going on, and that it's going to be ok. Worry about today!

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              #7
              My official plan

              What I mean by wrangling is that if I decide not to drink and I am somewhere where I am tempted to drink then I have two different points of view- one that supports drinking and one that opposes drinking. That causes confusion and a mental debate that eventually becomes so intolerable that you end up drinking.

              I take your point about make an absolute decision- but how does one do that without naturally tending towards old habits?
              The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere.

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                #8
                My official plan

                _EndOfTheLine_;1020138 wrote: I take your point about make an absolute decision- but how does one do that without naturally tending towards old habits?
                You have to find the strength to not drink. You don't give in, even if you want to. That is the hard part about being sober. It takes work. It takes a plan. When the old habits come knocking on your brain, don't open the door. Do something else, drink something else that is not alcohol. Fill your time with other things. You need to break the habit. We all do it in our own ways. If you truly want to be sober, if you truly want to NOT drink, you need to not put yourself in tempting predicaments, or have a plan to deal with those times. If I just gave in to the "mental debate" in my cranium everytime the thought of wine came to me, or when I was put in situations where I was around others that are drinking, I would be back wading in a vat of Chardonnay. And I don't want to do that. My decision.
                February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

                When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

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                  #9
                  My official plan

                  I simply avoid situations where I may be tempted as much as a possibly can. Makes me anti-social, and if I'm not comfy somewhere I simply leave. Rude?not as rude as my drinking makes me, especially when I make promises I can't keep because I'm hungover or even worse.

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                    #10
                    My official plan

                    This is a tough time of the year for sure. Especially when most of the socializing revolves around alcohol.

                    It is a very hard decision to become completely abstinent. It isn't only the stop drinking, but your whole life changes. More than ever, for the better.

                    Lofting back and forth is pretty normal in the beginning. Especially when you feel that it is 'expected' of you to partake with friends and family. You should only be thinking about yourself and your own well being.

                    Becoming sober is the one time where being selfish is a good thing.

                    I honestly found that making the decision to become completely AF really took the angst out of whether or not to drink. I tried the whole 'modding' thing quite sometime ago and I always ended up back where I was almost instantaneously.

                    I truly was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I hated what the drink was doing to me and I also hated how this really ugly person came out of me while drinking. (lies, anger, false promises, forgotten plans, emotional)

                    All the best to you.

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                      #11
                      My official plan

                      Great post AFM

                      Sorry I seem to be hijacking this thread but your line about being 'expected', since it means an awful lot to me. I've only turned my corner by stopping doing what is 'expected' of me - and I don't mean drinking, I mean life in general. I've had to decide to just ignore pressures from others, and get on with my 'day' and my sobriety, doing only what I am comfortable with and it works. Regards the drinking I don't think a lot of people really notice whether or not you are drinking, they are concentrating on having their good time. I went out with a lot of heavy drinkers a month or two back and the next morning I was saying I'd not been drinking and one of the crowd said "You weren't drinking!!!!!!", she really hadn't noticed.

                      Some 'friends' can be pressurising but that's usually to take the heat off the way they feel about their own drinking, or because they think you can't possibly have a good time. As adults we can do as we like, if you don't want a sweetie you don't have to have one.

                      Most people with drink problems will become a liability when drinking to most around them, and I find that most family and friends would actually be quite happy if you aren't drinking. Can be surprising.

                      Before you ask, although immediate family and friends don't drink(or at least when I'm not around), extended do and I have old drinking buddies(whom I've had nothing to do with for 12 months) who contact me regularly, stop me in the street and badger me to go have a drink. I have to blank them to get them to leave me alone. Pressure?hell yeah.

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                        #12
                        My official plan

                        Hi guys, just checking in and reading the amazing advice. EOTL, I'm new here, too, so I'm reading this advice as much for me as for you!

                        Have a great AF evening all.

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                          #13
                          My official plan

                          Can be a very tricky situation for sure.

                          I'm about where you are EOTL.

                          My hubby drinks like a fish, and doesnt think he has a problem, he doesnt have a idiotic personality emerge when he has had too much, unlike myself.

                          That is my pressure.

                          Lovely guy, but useless in the support area. I have it shoved in my face daily.

                          I gave up smoking while he puffed smoke in my face...... Can I give up AL

                          I have to keep trying.

                          Good luck - tis the season to NOT be jolly.
                          Time to whip AL's Ass :b&d:
                          :h ya
                          Trix

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                            #14
                            My official plan

                            Without question, I would be drinking my ass off if I wasn't on Antabuse right now. Perhaps foolishly, or of depression, I flushed the rest of my script down the toilet. I am desperate for a drink but will have to wait til at least tuesday.
                            The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere.

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                              #15
                              My official plan

                              I'm sad to read about your decision. It's not too late to change your mind! Drinking doesn't help or solve anything. Really it doesnt.

                              :l

                              DG
                              Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                              Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                              One day at a time.

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