I think I finally got the message

[Guest]

I think I finally got the message

TB

Just make sure you don't let it happen again. Too many times we con ourselves that we can just have a drink, that last time wasn't THAT bad, that the situation is SAFE.

If you have a drink problem NO situation is SAFE.

[Rags]

I think I finally got the message

Hey Trix,
Where are you?
How are you?

[Trixiebelle]

I think I finally got the message

Thanks everyone,

Im back (I go down to hubby's place each weekend) thats where all the drinking happens!!!!

I am sooooo pleased to report that I didnt get drunk at all - woo hoo.

I decided that I would mix all the drinks (and I only put al in his drink) how about that - couldn't bloody believe I could do it.

Mind you, there were times when he got a drink or two and I was happy for him to do it, but all in all - I drank stuff all.

Now to keep it up. I full realize that its not going to be easy - its that little voice that tells you that it'll be fine to have a couple more.

Thanks to you all you lovely people here, I am feeling much better about myself.:l

[Korlan]

I think I finally got the message

That's fantastic Trix! Bloody brilliant, and great for you that you were strong enough to do it! Of course we knew you could all along!!! That just made my day! I can go to bed now with a smile in my heart! Wars are one with single battles ! There's one for the good guys!!!

[Trixiebelle]

I think I finally got the message

You put a smile in my heart Korlan,

Thanks for your support, its cause of people like you that I feel strong enough to face this. I'm glad I made you smile. It feels good hey!!

[choice]

I think I finally got the message

Hi Trixie,

I just saw your thread and wanted to say hi. I'm sorry about your X-mas party. I've had a few staff parties in my past that I couldn't remember. Going to work the next time was always really scary because I had shame. I was always told I wasn't that bad. But once I saw some pictures of me posted on the staff computer dancing at the party. Dancing I sure looked like I was having a good old time. If it wasn't pictures of me I wouldn't have thought much of it... other then that girl looks drunk. ha ha... but it was me and I didn't think it was funny at all. Hmmm oddly enough I didn't do anything about my drinking until 4 years later. My blackouts were getting closer and closer and I was being told I was getting violent. I guess I was done dancing.

Take care,
Choice

[Trixiebelle]

I think I finally got the message

Thanks Choice,

I know exactly how you felt - after nearly 2 weeks, I still feel so ashamed. There were not any photo's and I don't want to ask anyone what I did, because I dont think I could handle even more shame.

Now we have a end of year BBQ this Friday :shocked: and I am &%$tting myself.

You know what a heap of blokes can be like. I am really afraid that I will be made a fool of in front of them all and not know how to react.

Any idea's??? I have thought of just not going - I would prefer that but may not be able to squeeze out of it.

[choice]

I think I finally got the message

Oh man, I don't know. If it were me I wouldn't go. Saying no is really hard for me but it's kinda critical at this time. I just don't trust myself being around too much drinking. (yet)... but I have managed a party where people who didn't know me were drinking and I was fine. It was fun actually. Of course they had never scene my "crazy, wild drinking girl fun side"- (um, I should say my emotionally challenged jerk clown antic side) so I didn't feel much pressure to wow them with my social skills- I could just be shy and it was okay.

One thing that I think I'm learning is that I don't have to do anything or go anywhere that makes me uncomfortable. (at least socially) Also, when I use to drink... the more worried about moderating and controlling my drinking.. the more I ended up loosing control Can you suddenly get a stomach flu? I use to make up excuses when I had a hangover like that... can it work in reverse when your not ready to tell people you don't want to drink?

[sapphire1]

I think I finally got the message

Trix I would really think hard about going to this party. You are still feeling raw after the last episode and maybe its not time for you to face this just yet. Whenever I am asked to put myself into socially uncomfortable situations, I use a tool called W.I.I.F.M.? Whats in it for me? If you come up with more reasons for not going than you can find for going, then you dont go. If it is the reverse and you decide that it really is in YOUR best interests to go, then go. Sobriety has to be about you and whats good for you. It has to be selfish because your health and your life are at stake.

[Trixiebelle]

I think I finally got the message

Thanks Choice and Sapphire,

I think i will just make out i have heaps of work to get finished before the end of the week, then exit without hanging around. Thank God, we still have another 4 days of work before we break up for Christmas, otherwise I dont think I could get out of it.

My bosses know that I go down to hubby's place every Friday arvo, so I should be able to wrangle my way out of it.

Thanks guys, I am doing ok atm, every day I feel like drinking, though I have managed to abstain - its a struggle though.

I like W.I.I.F.M - and there's not much, except to make an appearance. I have to drive so dont want to drink before I go.

[Trixiebelle]

I think I finally got the message

Well thats not true, I'd love to down a few.

[Danae]

I think I finally got the message

Trix,

Just sending you support. I know how it is to be at an event and feel the need for liquid courage. I'm avoiding a work get-together tonite due to having a commitment with my mom and dad. I'm glad I can't attend it because it would definitely be a challenging circumstance for me.

If you absolutely have to, put in an appearance. Make a commitment to eat first and grab a diet tonic with lime. It'll look like a drink and help you if you're at all like me, and feel like you need something in your hands to look like you're a part of the party, and feel less like a stand-out. Good luck! :l

jennyneric;1020358 wrote: welcome! I sort of have the same thing in my life except me and my hubby both drank, he still drinks but we never drank together, we are in the same house but are normally in different rooms and we don't drink the same thing, he drinks beer only and I hate beer, he drinks daily but I have found that watching him get drunk acts as a deterrent in that I know I don't want to be like that again. It's a mine set I guess and it takes restraint to not be angry at him for drinking but to each his own and for me I don't want to be drunk anymore. Try to ignore it as best you can and just be what you want to be and let him be what he wants to be. As the great John Lennon once said. . . Let it be. . . .there will be an answer. . . Let it be.

I could almost have written parts of this. My husband and I both work from home. He's a beer snob and drinks "high-end" beers from sun-up to sundown sometimes. He doesn't appear drunk at all and has a very high tolerance. He's incredibly successful at his work, and when he drinks he becomes a happy drunk (he's a happy go lucky, "water-off-a-ducks-back" kinda guy in general so his character doesn't really change when he drinks.) Unlike me who would get to "that point" and all my suppressed anger comes out. I know he has a "problem" too (I doubt he could quit) but right now it's not affecting his life to any real degree. I suppose I'll see how it goes once I get to maintaining sobriety, as I'll be better able to judge how he behaves when I'm clear headed.

[Trixiebelle]

I think I finally got the message

Hi Danae,

Your husband sounds like a replica of mine. I couldnt have put that any better, you summed them up perfectly.

Seems like we are both in the same boat - pleased to meet you.

I feel so resentful of him at times, and blamed him for my drinking until he moved down to a block we own, to get it set up for us later on.

It was then that I realised (being on my own through the week) that he had no influence over me whatsoever and it was my own doing. :upset: Though I am glad I realised this.

As for the Xmas party, I will put in a brief appearance, its all blokes and not my idea of "fun" anyway. (brief being hi/bye - 5 seconds) They wont give a toss if Im there or not.

I had a "light" weekend last w/end and found that after he had drunk quite a lot of beer and scotch, he was no bloody different, I expected him to be slurring his words. It will be interesting to see how your hubby behaves, when you are sober while he's been drinking.

Thanks for posting, I appreciate the support.:l