What do you do......

[christyacc]

I have a question, how do you just live the rest of your life without AL? I have been trying to tame the beast, so to speak, and well, I just keep fighting this battle. I have tried Topa, The Sinclair Method, and Bac. I seemed to have the best experience with Bac, but with some side effects.

I have been doing so well, the last litte while, and well, my drinking seems to be on the downslide again. My husband even said something to me tonight. That I was starting to drink every night again.

The problem is this, I'm not ready to give it up completely! I'm not sure if I am just being stubborn.

I also have some very close friends, and well, when we get together, we drink. I really don't want to disassociate with them......

[papmom3]

What do you do......

Hi Christy,
In answer to your question:

You live it without fear that you are slowly killing yourself
You live it without ever having to worry that you might kill someone else by driving drunk
You live it without wondering what you said or did during your blackouts
You live it without drunk dialing, texting, emailing
You live it well
You live it with joy
You live it with self respect.

I hope you find the inspiration you need on these boards. We are here to answer any of your questions and to support you. If you want to try to moderate there are plenty of people on here that are trying to do that and are doing it successfully. If you decide that abstinence is the way to go, you'll find a ton of support for that too.
Good Luck!!
:l

[mollyka]

What do you do......

Hi Christy - as I would expect Paps has got in ahead of me with her 'always' words of sense, I concur with all she says. The one thing that I found essential - and have only found some sober success since accepting it - you need to be 100% committed to sobriety - any tiny little chink or 'out' is hopeless, cos our alkie minds will find that chink and feed on it. However, as Paps says maybe you plan on moderating? If so, yes there seems to be folk here who do really well, there are special moderating threads maybe you should check out? Whatever you decide, in the end, it's inside yourself. All the 'aids' and medication in the world won't help unless you want it.
Molly

[hillsidetime]

What do you do......

Hi Christy, Papmom did a great job to get the ball rolling on this one. Your question, was how can you live the rest of your life without alcohol. This is complicated for sure to answer.

For some people, they can't.

For those who can, they live life with renewed energy, joy, health, self-esteem, and with more money in their pockets. We live life, without poison going in our body each day. We are engaged and involved in our children's lives. We live life thinking about the ups and downs, and not diluting them and ignoring them with booze. We live life knowing that we have went through a tremendous battle, and we have won; we live with that quiet inner pride.

It is possible to survive the social ramifications of going sober. It is possible to work through the psychological and physiological battles of going sober. It is possible to live the rest of your life sober.


We are here for you. Read and write lots. For me, I had to hit rock bottom, and come so very close from losing my marriage, my children, what dignity alcohol had already not taken from me. I hope you, or anyone, don't have to go there too.

Hill

[mylife]

What do you do......

Hi Christy,

I have struggled with that question myself. I asked a counselor I was seeing once and she said not to project about "the rest of my life". Just focus on today and worry about tomorrow tomorrow. For me, that's all I can do becuase honestly if I visualize never being able to drink again it makes me nervous. I think Dr. Wayne Dwyer said something similar -- he stopped drinking 20 years ago and said if he had told himself then he wouldn't drink for 20 years he would have thought "I need a drink!" but he didn't, just focused on the present.

So, I'm not telling myself "Forever" or any time limit -- I just know that it doesn't work for me right now.

Hope that helps and have a great day!

[Doggygirl]

What do you do......

christyacc;1022916 wrote: IThe problem is this, I'm not ready to give it up completely! I'm not sure if I am just being stubborn.

You are on to the problem it seems, and that is a step in the right direction. As long as I was unwilling to give it up, it wasn't going to happen. What was I expecting? Magic? Divine intervention? (well, I admit I did do some pray-begging along those lines!)

Before I had a miniscule hope of stopping, I had to decide I wanted to. Way more than I wanted to keep drinking. "Wishing" for control of something that for me, is uncontrolable didn't help.

All the best as you keep sorting on this.

DG

[tlrgs]

What do you do......

WELL FOR me i just do it ... i know what i need and what i want in life ... and that what it is knowing you have choice you can choose how and what,why you really dont need al to be happy look around at you family and you will see that they love you for who you are and then ask yourself do they stay around you when you are drinking or do you drink in front of them and are you ready to commit ... for everyone is will be diffrent answers but to the same problem ... so look deep within yourself and you will find the answers you seek

[Sunnyvalenting]

What do you do......

For me being abstinent was the only way to even have any choices in the matter. My life got so small and narrow and boring with the drink at the center. It felt a bit awkward at first to realize that I didn't have to and wasn't going to blow off a day, week, friend, commitment, whatever. I am now "free" to do anything I want to and actually do it. People are beginning to trust me and, more importantly, I trust myself.
What have you always wanted to do? Do it!
Take a class, read a book, write a book, take a trip. Have a child. Join a gym. Learn to dance. Make a friend, paint a room. Whatever you want, it goes much better without the alcohol. There is nothing IMO that is worth doing that goes better with booze for me.
Sunny

[Frenchman]

What do you do......

My suggestion: try it for 2 weeks and take notes about how you feel every day. That is what made a difference for me. Reading my own notes helped me tremendously in realizing that I was so much more happier without alcohol.

[mama bear]

What do you do......

Great Thread.....I love all the responses

[paguy]

What do you do......

For me, my final epiphany that continues to inspire me to remain sober is the realization and appreciation that a life without alcohol (clear minded thinking, restful sleeping, improved health benefits, improved relationships with my family and friends) is much better than a life with alcohol (depression, shame, guilt, bad health, sleeplessness, blackouts, strained relationships). It's really become a no-brainer. The choice is mine to make and I'm in charge.

[rebirth]

What do you do......

Hi christy,
I agree with Mylife. Take it one day at a time cause the thought of never drinking is far too scary for people like us.
There is a really good book called Responsible Drinking" which will really help you to moderate your drinking. If you still feel your drinking gets out of control then the best thing to do is abstain. Easier said than done but only you know whats best for you.

I use to be a daily drinker and couldnt imagine life without my wine. I stopped drinking in June and six months later and I am a different person inside. Admittently I have had a few slips but they have not been major and they only strengthened my commitment to living a life without the drink ruling me.

Life is still difficult at times but it's very empowering to be able to deal with your problems without desparately needing to drink. I love how I have my self control back.

All the best. x

[mylife]

What do you do......

I have to say when I have "slipped" it amazes me how awful I feel and I am reminded of how great I feel when I'm not drinking. For me, no alcohol is like taking an anti-depressant - I just feel lighter and much happier.

[rebirth]

What do you do......

mylife- agree with you there again. I never drank a huge amount when I slipped in the past ( maximum of three glasses of wine on each occasion) but I would wake up the next day feeling extremely tired. My body is no longer tolerate to that stuff. Thank god