The Truth

[mistysmoma]

The Truth

Just want to add that I dont think those comments were something that would stumble me at all, since Im fairly new to AF..I get what you meant.. it was just a WOW.. for me to see you saying that..and I also can see why someone would assume you were under the influence, because posting comments like that are usually not made with good judgement, which AL usually affects. Dont beat yourself up over this, after all, look how well youve done this year with AF!!! we all want to see you suceed. I hope you feel better soon

[Pride before Fall]

The Truth

Sorry if you weren't drinking, K9; Rusty had posted this: "May I remind some people on this forum that they have posted drunk in the past, and people were forgiving."

I hope you feel better!

[KateH1]

The Truth

Since so many have already read this thread and commented, I would still like to add a few points to the conversation. K9, I get that you were concerned about your orginal post and your kind concern for not stumbling others. But, usually if one member is struggling with a thought, others are thinking the same thoughts and the ensuing conversation can actually be very helpful!

Here are my thoughts: There is a difference between "Not Drinking" and "Rebuilding Our Lives in Sobriety". As others have metioned, not drinking is only the first step. It takes months, and even years of consistant AF time along with deep personal work to truly begin to live with the tools that bring the stability and contentment that was lacking in our lives.

Slipping and Relapsing: Though any AF day is better than a drinking day. A slip or relapse has a bigger impact on our progress than just a lost day or two. Drinking episodes really sets back our progress, emotionally and mentally more than just the hours spent drinking.

If only putting down alcohol would make us; smarter, thinner, younger, richer and more beautiful after a few weeks or months! If only all of life's problems and pain would simply go away once becoming sober! Alas...this is not the reality! But, given time we do develope healthier and far more useful tools in dealing with Life. We also stop the self destructive behaviors, such as ruining friendships, driving drunk, destroying families, making wrong choices and eventually ruining careers or jobs.

K9...my heart goes out to you.....I hear your disease talking to you! Perhaps AA would help? Whatever you decide, you have an army of people here who truly care for you and are here to support you!

XXX Kate

[mama bear]

The Truth

well put Kate...... I am in the stopping drinking mode myself.....now we have to get on with life, dont we K9??

[dancelot]

The Truth

[I had most of this written already, so I'll go ahead and post it - might help someone - ya never know!]

K9Lover;1023663 wrote:

If MY comments or thread are enough to make someone lose their sobriety, then they're not ready to be sober anyway. Just my opinion....which I am leery of stating at this point.

Quite true. Each of us is ultimately responsible for our own choices and our own sobriety.

(I would say to anyone who feels discouraged by reading that, look around, read others' posts. Many members have found contented sobriety. Yes, there is a lot of work involved, and there are always ups and downs - that's life. The good news is, by doing the work, it does get better - and easier).



If we can't be honest, and that includes when we have thoughts such as you describe, we are guaranteed to never get better. I don't see what you said as maliciousness - I see it as expressing your feelings honestly, and you have that right, as does everyone on this forum.

I understand feeling the need to take a break from the boards (it usually doesn't last long). What I usually end up doing is sticking to the ABs section.

What caysea, Sheri, and others say about "doing the work" is the common thread I see in the long term and happy/contented sober. Getting physically sober is comparatively easy (I know it doesn't seem that way). When the numbness is stripped way, we get to our real selves. That self often has other issues that we can't ignore - we've probably been ignoring/covering up/ self medicating them for years - some of us for most of our lives.

We may need psychotherapy. We may need live support groups. We may need something else entirely. We may not want to do it because ________ (

[JackieClaire]

The Truth

Well I've been through this thread about 10 times and I honestly must have missed something. Where were the harsh words? It saddens me when members delete their posts. IMO this was posted in the incorrect place perhaps General would have been better,but it was something that should be talked about.

Before I came to MWO I had many months of sobriety at differing times and I resented every second of them. Since I started posting here I don't even have to leave the house to know that I will receive support at any time night or day.
I am now AF and along the way it hasn't been all hunky dory but as Kate says 1 day AF is a thousand times better than 1 day hungover.

I am now living sober and building a life for myself that does not include AL. I am now building bridges with my family that I never thought could be repaired. Please think about therapy or AA, K9. It's got to be a lot better than feeling like this.

[choice]

The Truth

Hi K-9,
I didn't read what you'd written because it's been deleted already. I've read the thread and it doesn't seam harsh but I'm not sure what you wrote. My guess is your feeling sensitive and defensive. That happens to me too with some of the responses I get when I post. Not because the responses are mean but because they hit a nerve for me personally. I see the title is The Truth. So I can only gather that you felt strongly at the time when you posted. I think it can get pretty tricky to share any feelings questioning sobriety on the forum just because most people are trying to find it. But I think it is a very honest feeling? question? a person can get when they are struggling. I have a feeling a lot of people can relate. I wish you hadn't deleted your text... but I understand why you did... I probably would have too. More importantly then this thread. I hope you feel better soon and stick around. No one can be perfectly positive all the time on their path to sobriety. You shard some honest thoughts. I also believe all the responses are honest and thoughtful too. Take care K-9.

[momof3]

The Truth

Hello K9,

I hope you are feeling a little stronger today. I have read your posts in the past and I find you to be an honest and thoughtful person. I really get the feeling that you are trying hard to find your way out of the grips of alcohol.

As others of said, it's not only the quantity of AF days you put in, it's also the quality. When I was "white knuckling" it early on and wondering if it was worth it all, I realized (through the help and advice of folks on this thread), that I had to make some changes in my life so there was no room for alcohol. The disease/beast/alcohol affected brain (whatever you choose to call it) wants things to remain the same; wants you to think that it's not worth it; that you're miserable without alcohol. Even if you have a number of days of sobriety and then slip for one or two days, you have reawakened that beast and it will keep taunting you.

A pill might keep you from drinking and it's a good back up to have but to remainl AF for the long haul, you have to dig down deep to find the motivation to give it everything you got to conquer it. It ain't easy at first but it does get better.

M3

[OverIt2007]

The Truth

Hey Girly!!!

I have absolutely no idea what you wrote, as I was not logged in yesterday... BUT....

Whatever is going on with you, I hope it is better resolved today.

And OH Yeah... I LOVE YA!!! :l