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    #1

    Posting 'Happy Thoughts'

    Although I never saw the original post... I think K9's post and the many responses brings up an interesting point:

    Are we expected to only share 'Happy Thoughts'? To not type out the questions, concerns, doubts, fears, etc... that we really experience?

    Personally, I think that's a load of crap. None of us (alkies and normies alike) have only good days. All of us have thoughts ranging from nagging questions to screaming fury. Especially, when it comes to this quest of learning to live life without our crutch. I much rather see thought provoking honesty and frustration (which very well may be close to what I have felt but didn't have the courage to put out there for others to take apart).

    Your thoughts?
    Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

    Winning since October 24th, 2013
    Tags: None
    #2
    Posting 'Happy Thoughts'

    I agree, I post negative thoughts sometimes but feel badly for doing so because I don't want to bring others down. I would expect others going through recovery to have negative thoughts on the subject of going sober like I do everyday on the drive home when I wage war with myself. It would be nice if I had a non judgmental place to share such thoughts.
    You always succeed if you never stop trying.
    Everyday we choose the direction of change.

    Comment

      #3
      Posting 'Happy Thoughts'

      Well...I always have only Happy, Happy Thoughts! Since becoming AF, I am 20 years younger, I have won the Publishers Clearing House and...........this statment is pure BS!!

      As I mentioned to K9, I think posts like hers are honest, and brave! If she is having these thoughts, chances are many others are thinking or feeling the same and getting into a discussion give all of us a chance to think things through!

      Great Post Sunshine! Thank you!

      xx Kate
      A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

      AF 12/6/2007

      Comment

        #4
        Posting 'Happy Thoughts'

        In agree. Being honest means not just with yourself (which is important), but to others. This includes the crappy stuff, like drinking, or wanting to drink, or hating being AF. You can't get honest feedback without being honest, and you won't get anywhere kidding yourself.
        ​​Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind ~ Bob Marley ~ Redemption Song

        AUGUST 9, 2009

        Comment

          #5
          Posting 'Happy Thoughts'

          I agree. There are tons of emotions, questions, thoughts, etc. that need addressing when on this path. No one is just perfect and able to be positive all the time just because they ditched the alcohol. I think when I was in the early days AF a negative post about sobriety did affect me more, so did posts I saw where people were drunk. But EVERYTHING in the world regarded drinking affected me more at that time. It's just life. Just because we are sober doesn't mean we are now in a protective bubble where everything is just wonderful all the time. For me I think life is just more manageable sober. I couldn't handle things very well when I was drinking. I wouldn't say sobriety has totally been a rose garden for me though. I think bottling up all of our negative thoughts is not a good idea. It's kind of what was making me sick in the first place. I drank because I wanted to smile more. Obviously that doesn't work. On the flip side, I do think that when people see a post that questions sobriety or one that is written while someone is under the influence... If they feel angry about someone going off the wagon that is normal. If they want to put a positive spin on it... good. We are all here to help each other out right? I think this is a gray area. Gray isn't bad.

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            #6
            Posting 'Happy Thoughts'

            I completely agree Sunny, but sometimes the response honesty gets you is hard to take if you are feeling vulnerable. Alot of people have told me privately they would never post if they slipped or not anymore because they are afraid.....and that's a shame...
            I love my family more than alcohol.:h
            Live in the Solution....not the problem

            Comment

              #7
              Posting 'Happy Thoughts'

              I am all for people telling the truth and by no means is life one big happy world, But having read k9 original post the 1st one if i remember correctly she was saying that life been sober is crap and she actually enjoys getting the buzz from alcohol etc etc and her life sober hasn't turned out the way she thought it might,I am open to correction here but i thing that was what she was saying as in the truth.



              For me i have posted many a time here when things are not going to well, thankfully they are few and far between and i have gotten great support here and advice also i am all for people to be honest but not at the expense of others.


              :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

              Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
              I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

              This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

              Comment

                #8
                Posting 'Happy Thoughts'

                Dear Lord if you can't post honestly here where on earth can you let of steam. I've had some pretty rough moments here myself this year but back I come day after day. I get inspiration each day from a brave new newbie who makes their first post to a longtime abstainer dealing with life on life terms.

                I'm sorry MB if you get private messages from members who feel like they cannot post their relapses. I have only seen care and compassion when a member 'slips'.

                Perhaps it's just my perception but I've seen a few long term members are not posting as regularly as usual for fear of criticism.
                It could be worse, I could be filing.
                AF since 7/7/2009

                Comment

                  #9
                  Posting 'Happy Thoughts'

                  Stirly- Girly had quoted k-9's original posts- so they are not gone...so for those curious-go back and read.
                  I think this is really being over-played and dramatic- it was just an honest post, from a person that was feeling in a bad mood- and that's simply how I took it... so can't we all just let it go?
                  Life is what it is and there will be good times and bad times whether you are drinking or not.
                  It's always YOUR choice!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Posting 'Happy Thoughts'

                    Fluff, this isn't about K9's post

                    This is simply about 'letting it out'.. whatever IT may be. Ponderings if life has actually improved, fear of what's to come, anger over what has been, desire for a drink.. you name it.

                    Here's how I see it: Yes, there were times when I got mildly annoyed (just me, myself, and I - not in responses) with members 'relapsing' on a what seemed to be a daily basis. BUT regardless, coming here the day after STILL shows some level of commitment and a call for help.

                    And, in the end, that's what we're all here for. Help. And, I really have to agree with Kate.. I think it's a GOOD thing to have a discussion... to get many view points, to get many reminders, many experiences.

                    And as JC has rightly pointed out... if we can't have those discussions HERE... then where the heck can we?
                    Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

                    Winning since October 24th, 2013

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Posting 'Happy Thoughts'

                      mama bear;1023793 wrote: Alot of people have told me privately they would never post if they slipped or not anymore because they are afraid.....and that's a shame...
                      Alcoholism is a brutal and vicious addiction and if people aren't able to face some home truths on an anonymous website it's extremely unlikely they will suceed it their plight. It's like going through life saying I only want to be told when I get it right and not when I get it wrong, that's not how we learn anything or how we grow. Pretending slips don't happen is just feeding the denial that keeps the addiction alive.

                      Sunshine I'm with you, it's wonderful to be able to come here and let off steam, whatever it's about. Sometimes we can't vent in the real world for a zillion reasons and I love all the cross section of advice and opinions we get here, there is so much life experience and wisdom amongst us. We don't have to agree or take the advice given but it would be nice if we could respect each others different view points. Who knows we might all be wrong :H
                      "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
                      AF - JAN 1st 2010
                      NF - May 1996

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Posting 'Happy Thoughts'

                        When I arrived here a little over 3 years ago, we enjoyed many, open and honest discussions on a variety of topics in regards to alcoholism/problem drinking, recovery etc. To this day I am extremely grateful fo the level of honesty and candor displayed at MWO at that time. I think it is a big reason why I finally after so many years of suffering from this addiction and trying and never succeeding, I finally found my way out. These days, I often find reading the boards to be a frustrating experience, as honesty and candor has been replaced with a lot of enabling and empty words posted in the name of "Support". Many times we see those with some years of sobriety blasted and told to leave??? Offense is taken, when none is meant. The fact is that the road to sobriety is not an easy one, it is not a gentle one, but it is a goal that is well worth walking through the fire to get to!

                        For the record, this post is directed at no one in particular, they are just my thoughts on this topic!
                        Kate
                        A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                        AF 12/6/2007

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Posting 'Happy Thoughts'

                          Chill....haha once again we have cross posted, with much the same thought! I so appreciate you!
                          XX Kate
                          A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                          AF 12/6/2007

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Posting 'Happy Thoughts'

                            :l you too Kate....
                            "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
                            AF - JAN 1st 2010
                            NF - May 1996

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Posting 'Happy Thoughts'

                              mama bear;1023793 wrote: I completely agree Sunny, but sometimes the response honesty gets you is hard to take if you are feeling vulnerable. Alot of people have told me privately they would never post if they slipped or not anymore because they are afraid.....and that's a shame...
                              I am curious, what are they "Afraid of ???".
                              A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                              AF 12/6/2007

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